Living Our Legacy
by SCLindseySC
Summary: Although his actions often betrayed his heart, Asa Buchanan loved his family. He just loved controlling them even more. **In Chapter 16: Clint Buchanan makes his way to the Barrett-Rodriguez household but tragedy ensues before he can come clean.**
1. Preface

**LIVING OUR LEGACY**

 _Although his actions often betrayed his heart, Asa Buchanan loved his family. He just loved controlling them even more. He might have attempted to have his own grandson declared mentally incompetent to justify taking back the BE Helm; but the day Cord Roberts left BE for good to head Acme for the late Julia Barrett was the day Asa Buchanan changed his will. When he died six months later his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren learned that they were all back on the BE Board along with a few heirs yet to be named._

 _As those heirs come forward, eagerly, reluctantly, or under false pretenses the real Buchanans must circle the wagons to protect themselves and BE. But who are the real Buchanans? Must you take the last name? Be raised in the family? Have a biological tie? Live the Credo? Can any heir lay claim to all of the above?_


	2. Chapter 1: A Buchanan Christmas

**Chapter 1: A Buchanan Christmas**

December 25, 2007

Buchanan Mansion-Llanview, PA

Sarah Roberts glanced around the formal dining room in what had once been her grandfather's home. Nigel had the table all laid for Christmas dinner for seventeen as her Uncle Bo's ex-wife, Nora, had decreed that a big traditional Christmas was just what the family needed. Her great step grandmother, Renee Divine Buchanan, had declared that was a wonderful idea and the perfect opportunity for everyone to meet Asa's newest long-lost son, Jared.

Technically Sarah had already met Jared Banks he had been kissing her aunt, or cousin, Natalie in the hallway outside Jessica's hospital room when she and her father had come back after Jessica had her liver transplant.

 _July 11, 2007_

 _Sarah Roberts followed her father's long strides through Llanview Hospital. He stopped and turned to her as they reached the elevator. "Honey, if you don't want to come up that's ok. I can call Nora and maybe you and Matthew could go get lunch or something. You didn't touch breakfast."_

 _"_ _No one touches breakfast on a plane dad. I'm ok, anyway it's been over three years I ought to be able to handle seeing the ICU."_

 _Her father pushed the button to summon the elevator and then laid a hand on her shoulder. "Sarah," he began._

 _"_ _I'm really ok. Anyway, I called Cooper and he doesn't have to work tomorrow so he's going to come up this afternoon. He said you have papers he needs to sign anyway," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Julia's Norscott stock went to him after her death," her father said as the elevator doors opened._

 _Sarah followed her father into the open elevator. "Right I guess he mentioned that. I just figured it was Acme related. You know Acme was the name of the company that Wyle E. Coyote used to buy all of his supplies from, you know the ones that always foiled his plans."_

 _"_ _That was because of operator error and misuse not product defect. That is always a very important distinction to make, Sarah."_

 _"_ _You know, Julia said the same thing. Sometimes I swear the two of you shared a brain," Sarah said as they stepped out of the elevator and started down the corridor to the ICU. As they came upon the double doors that lead into the ICU, Sarah saw familiar red hair, and her aunt Natalie ensconced in the arms of an average height man with light brown hair. As their kisses became deeper Sarah heard her father very loudly clear his throat._

 _Natalie responded to the auditory cue, pulled back from the embrace, and straightened with a sheepish look on her face. "Oh hey, Cord. Jess is doing a lot better, that new drug they tried seems to be working."_

 _"_ _Good," Cord Roberts said. He extended his hand in the direction of the man wearing his sister's lipstick around his neck. "I'm Cord Roberts, Natalie's older brother."_

 _"_ _Ah, you must Viki's son from the first marriage?"_

 _"_ _No, he's dad's son with Maria Roberts well I guess she was Maria Vasquez when they were together right? Cord was basically all grown up before Jess and I were born. Cord, this is Jared Banks, he's my assistant at BE," Natalie said._

 _Sarah rolled her eyes. Natalie still tormented her every chance she got about the kiss she and Joey had shared which Sarah could admit was messed up but, well, she had been then. She hadn't known what else to do; anyway it was mild compared to some of the stuff that she had seen between Natalie and their mutual uncle Todd Manning. "I thought you were working at the LPD with Uncle Bo," Sarah said._

 _Natalie turned slightly crimson. "Oh well Grandpa really wanted me to come back to BE. Especially with your dad leaving."_

 _"_ _Oh right," Sarah said well aware of the huge amount of Buchanan spin behind Natalie's words. Basically, once Natalie had compromised a crime scene she had put her Uncle Bo back in the position of arresting a family member or compromising his principles. Sarah figured that dealing with that dilemma repeatedly explained why he looked much older than his older brother, Clint, Sarah's grandfather._

 _"_ _So how is that going?" Cord asked._

 _"_ _Pretty good, Grandpa is really showing me the ropes," Natalie said. "Why? Do you want your old job back?" she added._

 _"_ _Nope, anyway, most of my day to do responsibilities have been assumed by Kevin. He's mostly getting the hang of it, I think," Cord said._

 _Sarah knew that her dad's response was diplomatic. After Julia Barrett's will had named her father the overseeing president of her company, Acme, which extracted copper from the Pars in Wales and refined that copper into silver outside of London; he had resigned from his Vice President position of BE's London division. His younger brother Kevin had been promoted and, with a lot of help from the new vice-CFO, Alexander Quartermaine, and their technical VP, Pete Thurston, Kevin was keeping things afloat. Of course, BE stock had taken a second nosedive recently and Sarah was sure that Asa and Clint wanted to blame the London division for that._

 _"_ _I don't think dad was very happy that you hired that finance guy. Kevin is supposed to be finding someone to replace him," Natalie said._

 _"_ _Well now my BE involvement is over, so I guess you and Kevin can take the company in whatever direction you want, Nat. Asa may not handle that any better than he did when I tried to turn things around though just keep that in mind. But you know I didn't come all the way across the pond to talk about BE. I'm going to go see Jessica."_

So basically, in six months Jared had gone from being Natalie's assistant, her boyfriend, and now he was her uncle. Sarah supposed calling him Uncle Jarhead wasn't polite but learning that she shared a common ancestor with him hadn't exactly changed her opinion of him. He was a charlatan and not a very suave one at that. She could see through him and she sensed he knew that. Recently he had been much better about keeping his distance which was fine with her because seeing his true colors didn't mean she wasn't afraid of them.

"Now you're going to stay with Sarah while mommy goes and makes sure daddy looks presentable," Jessica's voice floated through the room interrupting Sarah's thoughts.

Sarah turned to take her twenty-month-old cousin. "Hey, Bree! Cute dress."

"Mom made it. She made Zane a little vest and bow tie that match it too. Kevin wants to get some pictures of the kids under the tree, so we can use them for the BE Christmas Card next year you know since the whole family is on the board. I mean Bree and Zane will take their place someday too."

"Yeah, but I don't know, maybe they should, well, finish kindergarten first," Sarah said.

Jessica laughed. "Well, you never know. Listen, Sarah, I just wanted you to know that I'm totally cool with you inviting Cris to dinner. Really, I mean we were together so long ago."

Sarah shook her head almost involuntarily. She knew that Jessica had grown up as the perfect spoiled Buchanan princess, but she had just turned twenty-nine. Was she ever going to realize that it wasn't always all about her? Sarah wondered about that. Probably not, she decided. "Oh, Cris is out of town anyway," she said.

"He didn't mention that when I saw him at the diner. But, you know, Sarah, he's really a good guy and he loves you and Connor, well, I just don't see that."

"Connor?"

"Yeah, that guy that was hanging all over you in the hospital."

"You mean Cooper? I don't really remember the hospital but I'm sure he wasn't hanging all over me, PDAs make him uncomfortable," Sarah said.

"So, says Natalie about John McBain but let me just tell you that apparently he doesn't consider sex a PDA or something that should only happen behind closed doors."

Sarah clapped her hands over Bree's little ears. "Jessica!"

"Oh, please it's not like I went into details," Jessica said.

"Please don't! Listen, Cooper was there for me when I was sick that's all," Sarah said.

"Does Cristian know you talk to him two or three times a day?"

"I don't talk to him two or three times a day," Sarah said.

"Well it's definitely at least the second time you talked to him today."

"Not that it's really any of your business but he just had surgery and he's my friend."

"I'm just trying to help, Sarah. Us Buchanan girls don't seem to have a great track record with the Vega boys."

"First off, I'm not a Buchanan. My father wasn't good enough to be a Buchanan and I don't think he's ever really forgotten that. Secondly, what happens between Cris and I really isn't any of your business, or Natalie's business. If you regret choosing Nash over Antonio or stringing Antonio along in the first place don't drag me into it. If Natalie still feels guilty about the divorce, well, too bad that isn't my problem."

"But don't you see, Sarah, I've been where you are?"

"You've been where I am? No, you really haven't, Jess, and lets just not go there."

"I just don't want to see Cris get hurt," Jess said sweetly as Nash came into the room wearing a sweater with reindeer.

"There are my three favorite girls," Nash said as he smiled broadly at Bree.

One thing Sarah would say for Nash was that he never intentionally excluded her. She suspected that was because he had felt so excluded himself. But he was often kind to her and she felt safe around him so in spite of being a home wrecker she did like him. She extended Bree to her father and smiled at the little giggle the little girl gave in her daddy's arms.

Jessica, however, made a face. "Nash, you can't wear that sweater! The photographer is coming to take BE pictures before dinner. Give the baby back to Sarah and go put on that suit I put out for you," Jessica whined.

"Honey, I am not wearing your brother's clothes," Nash said. He did pass Bree back though.

"Kevin never wears that one any more. Kelly said he would never know it was missing. Anyway, I picked the tie out myself."

"From Joey's closet?" Sarah asked.

"Well, actually, it's one that Todd left at Llanfair. Mom thought it was Joey's but it isn't. Come on, Nash, Kevin said the photographer would be here in fifteen minutes."

"You know, obviously my mistake was believing that maybe we could have a normal holiday without it having to turn into a PR stunt for BE. Obviously, I was wrong. I'm not even on the stupid board. You go take your family picture and I'll go check on something at the vineyard," Nash said before he stormed out of the room.

"Nash!" Jessica wailed as she trailed after him.

Sarah looked down at her baby cousin. "What do you say we go find you a bib? Your mommy will probably kill me if you drool on your pretty dress."

Jessica must have worked her womanly wiles, because Nash did eventually return in a suit, and the most disgusting tie Sarah had ever seen.

The photo session took over ninety minutes and everyone was cranky by the end of it. Sarah had amused herself by texting to Cooper. He was spending Christmas at his Aunt Brenda's house, without photographers, because his family wasn't insane like hers. Except it was, because, although she hadn't managed to find the courage to tell Cooper the truth, her family was his family. She didn't mean that in a figurative sense either; it wasn't like he considered Logan Hayes a brother. No, she and Cooper Barrett shared a common ancestor too.


	3. Chapter 2: A Nice Dinner

**Chapter 2: We're Going to Have a Nice Dinner (Even if it Kills Us)**

"Is that bracelet new, Sarah?" Nora Hannen Gannon Buchanan Colson Hannen asked as they finally sat down to Christmas dinner.

Dinner was supposed to be an attempt at Buchanan harmony, but Sarah doubted it would last long. _How could it?_ "It was a Christmas gift from Cooper," she said.

"Oh, that's sweet, I'm impressed he had time to shop with all of his own medical crises," Jessica Buchanan-Brennan said.

"Medical crises?" Sarah's grandfather, Clint Buchanan, asked with obvious alarm.

"I told you he had his gallbladder removed on Saturday," Sarah said. She shook her head. She had mentioned that, but Clint had been distracted with some squabble Jessica and Natalie were having. She was starting to agree with Julia, her grandfather didn't deserve a son like Cooper. He wouldn't care for him the way he deserved. So maybe Julia really had been kind when she decided to spare him a father who would make him feel like a second-class citizen in his own family. It wasn't fun, Sarah knew that from experience.

"Why would they do it on a Saturday?" Natalie Buchanan asked reaching for her wine glass. "Isn't that an elective procedure?"

"He wanted to be home for Bree's birthday," Sarah said.

"Bree's birthday is in April," Nash Brennan pointed out.

Nash's words were basically a grumble. Sarah suspected he was still a little ticked about his clothes. His tie was giving her a headache. Jessica said it was a power tie, whatever that meant. Of course, thinking of her earlier conversation with Jessica, there was no way Sarah was even asking for clarification on that one.

"I think Sarah is referring to Julia's baby sister, Breanna. I'm glad she and Cooper are connecting; I think Julia always did want that she just had no idea how to facilitate it within the family infrastructure," Sarah's father, Cord Roberts, said.

"Maybe that is why Cooper and I have gotten so close. I come from a rather twisted family infrastructure as well," Sarah said.

"Sarah!" her grandfather, Clint Buchanan, admonished.

"What? I mean every few years I get a new uncle, or cousin, or in this family sometimes both at the same time. How many of Great Grandpa Asa's fifteen wives actually got along with each other? I'm just saying I can understand why Julia didn't get along with Stacia Wilding and how that made it complicated for their kids."

"Am I going to have to leave the room again? Can I take my plate with me if I do?" Matthew Buchanan asked.

Sarah looked over at her young cousin. She had kind of forgotten he was there. Matthew would be nine in February and, honestly, even for a Buchanan child, he had lived a rather rough life. He had been conceived after her cousin Drew's death in 1998, during an affair his mother had with Sam Rappaport, and rationalized as ok because she thought another child would give her great Uncle Bo something to live for and she didn't think that Bo could have more children.

None of her logic really made sense to Sarah, of course she hadn't met Matthew or heard the whole sordid tale until she ended up back in Llanview shortly before his fourth birthday. Then she had just turned eighteen herself, so she had wondered why Nora wouldn't have figured that if Bo thought he was sterile he would have believed a baby she was carrying could be his.

Of course, her uncle wasn't sterile, but he did question if the baby was his after learning that Nora had slept with Sam Rappaport. Apparently, the baby really was a Buchanan but Sam and his ex-wife Lindsay had rigged several paternity tests to make it appear that Matthew was really Sam's son. The truth came out later that year after Lindsay killed Sam in March 2003 and Matthew was forced to understand that he was grieving a father that really wasn't his.

But it wasn't just the parent melodrama. Matthew was subsequently kidnapped by a psychopath that Nora had dated briefly. He was rescued, then his mother married another psychopath who killed his son's fiancée to cover up another murder. Unfortunately, that son's fiancée was Jennifer Rappaport who Matthew had truly believed was his sister for years and continued to consider a sister even after the truth came out. After Daniel Colson went off to prison Sarah supposed things might have started to get better for him, well if his house hadn't been burned down with him and his mother trapped inside. Nora and Matt had escaped, survived, and moved into the Buchanan Mansion for some reason that Sarah wasn't sure she really understood.

Well, initially, she thought her great grandfather had probably offered. But lately it seemed like there was something going on between Nora and her grandfather. Of course, Nora wouldn't be the first woman to divorce one Buchanan son and marry another. Viki had done that when she divorced Clint Buchanan in 1994 and married Dr. Ben Davidson, who was truly Renee and Asa Buchanan's son, in 1999. Yeah it was a lot to take in, in slightly under nine years and Sarah actually felt for him because he was just a kid and because he didn't feel the need to play the blame and compare game.

"You aren't going to go anywhere. Your cousin is going to think about someone other than herself for a moment and remember that your grandfather would want us to have a nice family dinner," Nora said.

 _Yeah, Nora kind of hated her._ Most recently Sarah thought because she blamed her for her former step-son Riley Colson's drug issues. That was almost laughable to Sarah, or it would be if it didn't hurt as well. Riley was the one who had introduced her to drugs in the first place when she had been thirteen. She didn't blame him though, her dad might, but she didn't. She believed in taking responsibility for the choices she had made. Riley hadn't made her take the drugs.

But Nora didn't want to see Riley as anything other than a victim. Poor Riley, Sarah broke his heart when she broke up with him. Poor Riley his fiancée was murdered. When he had been arrested for drug charges a few years earlier Nora had bailed him out of jail and managed to work out some suspended sentence where he went off to rehab. Sarah hadn't spoken to him in over a year, but she knew he was still using then. She had made the mistake of mentioning that to Nora who she knew still sent him money sometimes. That had just given Nora another reason to hate her.

"Nora, I think that was a bit harsh. Sarah hasn't exactly had an easy time with everything recently either," her father said.

Sarah was a little surprised her dad was sticking up for her. It wasn't that she didn't believe he loved her. She did, at least most days. But, usually her dad just kind of thumbed his nose to family drama and ignored the pettiness. Sarah wished she could be so strong.

"So exactly how close have you and Cooper gotten?" Jessica asked.

Sarah's once step grandmother and always Aunt Viki Lord Riley Burke Riley Buchanan Carpenter Davidson beamed at her daughter thinking Jess was just trying to smooth the tension.

Sarah scowled back at her cousin. "We talked about this already, it's none of your business."

"Oh, Sarah, I'm sure Jessie didn't mean anything by it. Cooper seems like a nice boy," Viki said.

"Yes, when he came out for the Memorial Service, he reminded me a lot of Asa back in the day," Renee Buchanan, her great grandfather's widow said. "Oh, and the way he looked at you," Renee's voice trailed off with implication.

Sarah looked down at her plate. Cooper looked at her like a little sister, even if she was technically older. They even could have been siblings, well, or step siblings, if he hadn't vetoed her idea to force their parents to finally admit the feelings they had danced around for years. But then she thought of the fact that her boyfriend Cristian had decided they should take a break right before leaving to spend Christmas with Evangeline his sort of ex-girlfriend. She thought of the fact that Jamie had said that she wished Aunt Vangie would be home for Christmas and she didn't call her Aunt Sarah. She took a deep breath; if Jessica wanted a show, she was going to get it.

Sarah looked up slowly and met her step great grandmother's eyes. "Well, Coop is very special to me too," she said. It wasn't even a lie, he was just not in the way she might have implied. Sarah faked a shy smile and looked back down at her plate.

"Well if you're happy, Sarah, that's what really matters," her uncle, Joey Buchanan, said.

"But she's supposed to be dating Cristian!" Jessica protested.

"Again, Jess, not that it is really any more of your business, than exactly why you started an affair with Nash while married to Antonio is mine, but Cristian and I are taking a break," Sarah said.

Natalie laughed. "You're breaking up with Cris for Cooper? What a Buchanan girl thing to do."

"That sounds like a great plan," her father agreed.

"I think that sounds like a horrible plan!" Clint said.

"I'm really not hungry, I'm going to go lie down," Sarah said. She quickly got up from the table and started out of the room.

XXXXXX

Joey Buchanan met his brother Cord's eyes as Sarah left the room. Without words Cord's eyes somehow assured him that they just needed to give Sarah some space. She was still overwhelmed by the Buchanan family even in small doses most of the time.

"I can't believe she's doing this to him," his sister, Jessica Brennan, fumed.

Joey wasn't sure exactly why Jessica was so invested in Cristian and Sarah's relationship. He wasn't sure what to make of that. "Sarah was right, Jess. Whatever is happening with her and Cristian, or her and Cooper, really isn't any of our business," his said.

"He seems like a good kid," his brother, Kevin Buchanan, spoke for the first time during the meal.

"Well, I'm not supporting this," Jessica said.

"I agree," their father added.

"That surprises me, especially considering all the trouble you went to, to break up Cris and Jess back in high school, and that was before he got violent," Cord said.

"Cristian isn't violent! He's just misguided. I'm sure that if Sarah loved him enough, he would never hurt her," Jessica said.

"Well, I'd rather her safety not be dependent on that if it's all the same to you, Jessica," Cord said stiffly.

"I hate to point this out but we're debating something that really isn't a decision we get to make. Sarah is going to be with who she wants to and, as her family, we should support that. Anyway, considering some of the people that others of us have brought into this family I think we're actually doing pretty well with Cooper Barrett," Joey said.

"Yes, speaking of that, Ms. Lord is here," Nigel said as he came into the dining room.

"I'll take my plate into the kitchen," Matthew said. He got up and hustled out of the room before anyone else could say anything.

Dorian Lord sauntered into the dining room, tossed her coat and purse in Nigel's direction and winked at Joey as she made her way to the head of the table where his father sat.

Joey felt his cheeks grow warmer. Maybe someday his relationship with the woman who had once been his grandmother, at least by marriage, would stop being the butt of all jokes. Maybe…Somehow, he had feeling that Dorian's subsequent relationship with his father might make that even less likely. That was unfortunate.

"Dorian, I would say it was a pleasure, but I don't like to lie," Nora Hannen Gannon Buchanan Colson Hannen said tersely.

Dorian smiled slightly and then rolled her eyes. "When did that change? Anyway, I came to see Clint," she said.

His father didn't look up from his roast beef for at least a full minute. "We're kind of in the middle of a family crisis here, Dorian," he finally said.

"I don't think Sarah thinking about dating a nice guy, for the first time ever, is exactly a crisis," Cord said.

Joey agreed but remained silent.

"Riley was a nice guy," Nora interjected.

"Yeah, a nice guy who introduced her to drugs and convinced her to run away from home," Cord said.

"Was the running away from home really so bad? After all, she was living with Tina at the time right?" Dorian asked.

"Tina is my sister and I will not sit here and let you attack her," his mother said.

Joey wondered if he had missed something. _Had his mother repaired her relationship with her sister during his last mission trip and forgotten to tell him?_

"Yes, because you're so close you haven't spoken in the past ten years. Close sibling relationship right there," Dorian said.

"You know, you really aren't helping the situation, Dorian," his uncle, Bo Buchanan, said.

"She rarely does," his mother said.

"So, who is Sarah's new beau?" Dorian asked.

"Dorian, I think you should leave," Nora said.

"Well, from what I understand, Nora, Asa's will may have given you a lifetime tenancy, but this house still belongs to the Buchanans," Dorian said.

"Dorian, please, not now. I will call you after dinner," his father begged.

"Stop over and we'll have a deal," Dorian said.

"Fine, fine," his father grumbled.

"Does this mean you're back with the Evil witch of the West?" Kevin asked after Dorian had flounced out of the room.

"Well, see, dad forgave Dorian for sleeping with David because he understood that she was just upset to walk in and see him kissing Nora in the stables at the ranch," Jessica explained.

"I think I should check on Matthew," Nora said. She got up from the table quickly, however, not before steam seemed to emanate from her ex-husband, and son's father, Bo Buchanan's ears.

Jessica covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh, ooops, Uncle Bo, I'm sorry, I thought dad told you."


	4. Chapter 3: What a Tangled Web We Weave

**Chapter 3: What a Tangled Web We Weave**

Upstairs Sarah sprawled across her bed on the phone with Cooper. "They just frustrate me. I wonder if I can convince my dad to let me spend New Years Eve in Port Charles?"

"I thought you said Cristian and Antonio's club was having some big New Years thing," Cooper said.

"Yeah, well, Cris went to visit Evangeline and we're kind of taking a break so I don't think I'll be doing that. Hold on a minute, Coop, someone is eavesdropping outside the door," she said. She got up and opened the door to find the former Jared Banks, and the new Jared Buchanan, sneaking down the hallway. "Hey Jarhead!" she called. What her cousin Natalie saw in this guy she had no clue.

Jared turned around slowly. "Oh, hello, Sarah, Renee sent me up to tell you dessert is ready I wasn't sure which room was yours," he said.

"Right because walking in while I was getting dressed this morning didn't make any kind of an impression on you? I don't want dessert and if I find you sneaking around my room again you will be sorry."

"What are you going to do sic your boyfriend on me?"

"Maybe you don't want to find out," Sarah said before she stepped back into her room and slammed the door.

"Did he really come into your room?" Cooper asked.

"He said he was looking for Matthew's room and they were going to play video games."

"But isn't Matthew's room all the way at the other end of the house?"

"I didn't say he was a good liar."

Cooper laughed but Sarah heard him groan as well.

"Sorry, you're probably still sore right?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, a little, I'm sure it would be worse if Dr. Quartermaine hadn't been able to do it laparoscopically."

"I guess."

"I'm sorry things aren't going well, Sarah. It's probably hard for a lot of your cousins to be back in that house and Asa to not be there."

"Yeah, I guess this is your first Christmas without your mom."

"Yeah, and, honestly, I couldn't go back to London right now."

"Maybe that's why my dad came here. Although I guess Julia was with you and Brenda last Christmas right?"

"Yeah, she was, and maybe for the first time she admitted she missed your father."

"Timing just stinks sometimes," Sarah said.

"Yeah, it does. You're going to be ok though. You should come for New Years Eve. Your dad has some papers I need to sign for Acme just tell him you will bring them up."

"Good plan. In fact, I'm going to work on that now. I'll call you later," Sarah said.

XXXXXX

Sarah took a deep breath as she came down the stairs. She could hear Jessica talking to her Uncle Kevin's wife, Kelly. Kelly was another example of a woman who had married multiple Buchanan brothers. First, she was engaged to Drew but he died before they could actually marry. She did marry Joey, then Kevin, and then there was her affair with Duke, who was both the son of her husband, Kevin, and the father of her son, Zane. But Duke had died and she had stayed in her marriage to Kevin and they were raising Zane together. Sarah wondered if Kelly ever planned on explaining to him that his father was really his grandfather. She shook her head. _Yeah, her family was twisted!_

As the conversation floated up the stairs Sarah regretted that somehow in a huge house there was only one staircase so she would have to walk through the living room and their conversation to get anywhere. She had gone to a party at Kirk Quartermaine's parents' house and their house wasn't much bigger but they had four staircases. She smiled slightly, her great grandfather had probably planned it figuring he could better trap his children and grandchildren for inquisition that way.

"I can't believe she's doing this to Cristian," Jessica said.

"Jess, maybe this really isn't our issue. They are both consenting adults," Kelly said.

"Jared thinks it's a plot on her dad's part to take over Acme and then use that to overthrow BE," Natalie said.

"Well Cord certainly did seem happy about it. Of course, maybe that's just because Sarah certainly could pick 'em if you know what I mean," Kelly said.

Ok that was enough, Sarah decided.

"Well, at least I end one relationship before I start another one," Sarah said as she came the rest of the way downstairs into the conversation. "I mean, really, can any of the rest of you say that? Jess runs out of a custody hearing for Jamie to go have sex with Nash at a waterfall. Romantic or slutty you take your pick. At least Natalie thought Cristian was dead before she started hooking up with John and all the stuff with Paul Cramer well, I guess it's best if I just don't go there."

"So, you pick on me and Jess but leave out Kelly who cheated on her husband with his son," Natalie said.

"Give me time," Sarah said. "Or we could all just drop it."

"Sarah, we're just concerned. Long distance relationships are hard sure but you and Cristian could make this work if you wanted to. I left Antonio because I was in love with Nash and there was no other way. I think you're just choosing Cooper because it's easier with him," Jess said.

The ironic thing was that Jess actually had a point but not for the reasons she thought. She bit her lip a little wondering what she had been really doing with Cris. It was easy to say it was probably just a rebound relationship and she had totally needed to rebound after Hunter tried to kill her. She and Cris had kissed for the first time right before she left to go to college days after her great grandfather's funeral. It wasn't easier with Cooper because she could see him daily, anyway she had seen more of Cris than Cooper when she was sick, or at least after she had been transferred from PCGH to the hospital in Llanview. It was just that she and Cooper connected in ways she and Cris didn't. Maybe it was because they didn't have feelings for each other maybe that was why it was hard. Or maybe it was hard with Cristian because he still had feelings for Evangeline.

"Or maybe there are enough challenges in life already and you just need to be with the person who makes you happy," Sarah said. Jessica would take it as a statement in support of Cooper but it was more just her new philosophy in life. The reality was that she thought, or hoped, that if Cristian could let go of Evangeline, he could make her happy. She also realized that she couldn't, and certainly shouldn't try to, control Cristian's feelings.

"Just don't go rushing into something you might regret later," Kelly said.

"I'm not rushing into anything I'm just spending New Year's Eve with Cooper," Sarah said. She would probably actually be spending it with Cooper and his girlfriend, Jolene, and a handful of other people. She decided Jessica didn't really need that detail.

"I thought you were coming with us to Capricorn," Jess said.

"No, Cooper just invited me."

"Cooper invited you to do what?" her grandfather, Clint Buchanan, asked as he came into the room.

"He just invited me to spend New Year's Eve with him. It's not a big deal. We'll probably just go to the party at Club 101 which, for the record, is a lot cooler than Capricorn."

"I don't think that's a good idea," her grandpa said. "But we can talk about this more when I come back."

"Where are you going?" Jessica asked.

"I have a meeting in Port Charles tomorrow. I'll be flying out early in the morning," Clint said.

"Are you meeting with Edward Quartermaine?" Jared asked as soon as he entered the living room.

Sarah figured he must have been eavesdropping again.

"I don't really think that is any of your concern," Clint said.

"Well, actually, it's all of our concern since we're all part of the BE board," Jared said smugly.

"He does have a point, dad," Natalie said.

Sarah doubted that her grandpa was going to meet with Edward Quartermaine unless he needed a good cover story. She had a feeling he was going to see either Cooper or Brenda or both. "Well may I fly back with you? Since we ended up just taking one vehicle back again my car is still in Port Charles," she asked.

"Don't you want to stay and visit with your father?" her grandpa asked.

"Actually, my dad has to bring some papers to Cooper so he could come with us. He could do that while you met with Mr. Quartermaine," Sarah said.

"I don't think that is a good idea, Sarah. Anyway, I thought your father was going to overnight mail those papers to Cooper."

"Well, if I went back with you Cooper could help me study for my calculus final. I'm supposed to take it during the semester break but I missed the last like three weeks of class so I have no clue."

"I'm sure Joey or Kevin could help you with that," Clint said.

"Nope I already asked. Kevin was like integrals and derivatives are kind of a big deal but I don't really remember what they are. Joey was ummm religious studies major remember," Sarah said.

"Why are you taking Calculus anyway?" Jessica asked.

"Because my dad thought minoring in economics was a great plan and I need to have taken calculus as a prerequisite for some of the economics upper level courses. Cooper did international baccalaureate so he's basically brilliant," Sarah said.

"Right and that's why he's becoming a cop?" Natalie asked.

"I can't believe you can even think that after Uncle Bo and Drew and everything," Sarah said.

"Well you have to admit it isn't rocket science, Sarah," Jessica said.

"Good point," Natalie agreed.

"So, what? Unlike you, Cooper could actually make it through the police academy, not compromise crime scenes, and, well, actually do the right thing even if it didn't benefit him personally," Sarah said before she fled up the stairs in tears.

XXXXXX

Natalie Buchanan cringed at Sarah's departing words and the painful memories they brought back. She had lost a lot, her fiancé, her career, and a portion of her uncle's respect, when she tampered with evidence at a crime scene. In the moment it had seemed like the right thing, the only way to protect John. Of course, it hadn't been and, ironically, John hadn't even been Spencer Truman's killer.

"Ok who said what to her now?" her brother, Cord Roberts, asked as he came in from the kitchen just in time to catch his daughter sprinting back up the stairs.

Natalie looked down at the rug. Without lifting her eyes, she glanced to her right and noticed Jessica's eyes were also downturned.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question. Listen, I realize that we're only family when it's convenient, girls, but it's time you leave my kid out of this," Cord said.

"Cordero, they didn't mean anything," their father said.

"So then tell me what was said?" Cord said.

"Natalie just put down Cooper's career choice," Jessica said.

"Hey! You were the one who said it wasn't rocket science," Natalie protested.

"Well it isn't," Jessica said.

Cord just shook his head and started up the stairs.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I really didn't mean anything," Jessica said.

"I know you didn't honey. Sarah is just really sensitive, that isn't your fault."

Natalie was quite sure that their father didn't think anything could ever be Jessica's fault. Jessica was his perfect little princess.

"So, about this meeting?" Jared asked.

Natalie noted the way her father bristled at Jared's question. She understood that her father hadn't exactly approved of Jared when he was her boyfriend. He seemed to approve even less since he had learned he was his brother.

"What about it? I realize that you're new at this but we don't typically bring the whole family to negotiate new deals," Clint Buchanan said pointedly.

"But wouldn't whatever you are negotiating with ELQ require support of the board?" Jared asked.

"This is more of a fact-finding meeting," her father said. He walked over to the bar and refreshed his glass of scotch.

"Fact finding?" Kevin asked as he came into the room trailed by their other brother Joey.

"Well, as you know, we need to secure more drilling sites for BE. We really need to look back into the ELQ parcel in White Pine, Nevada. Your grandfather had a deal on the table at the time of his death."

"So, it's taken you four months to follow up on that? No wonder our stock is dropping," Jared said.

"There wasn't actually a deal on the table. It was pretty resoundingly turned down in July. Edward Quartermaine isn't going to sell us those oil rights because Celia feels that drilling there would be an environmental nightmare," Cord said as he came back down the stairs.

"Celia is just one person, and she's not the CEO!"

"Is Sarah alright?" Jessica asked.

"No, but right now all she wants to do is talk to Cooper so I'm giving her some space," Cord said.

"Maybe she's pregnant with his kid? That would explain the break up with Vega and the tantrums at the drop of a hat," Jared suggested.

"Listen, Jared, we may share some DNA. You may even opt to take the Buchanan name but if you ever say something like that about my daughter again you might want to watch your back," Cord said.

Jessica gasped. "You think she's pregnant? Oh, that would be bad! I wonder if Cristian knows, I mean it could be his I suppose."

"Uh, Jess, why don't we wait and see if she's actually pregnant before we get all excited," Joey said.

"Well Cristian kind of has a right to know. I mean what if it's his baby?" Jessica asked.

"Again, lets make sure there actually is a baby before we start dredging up some secret paternity scandal," Joey suggested as he started for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Clint Buchanan asked.

"Oh, I figured maybe Sarah would talk to her favorite uncle," Joey suggested turning back and starting up the stairs.

"He's her favorite uncle?" Jared asked.

"Well it is certainly not you, Jared," Cord said.


	5. Chapter 4: Uncle Joey

**Chapter 4: You Can Always Talk to Uncle Joey**

Sarah lay curled up into a ball on her bed talking to Cooper.

"Does your dad know about your last conversation with Drew?" Cooper asked.

"No, I wanted to tell him but I don't know maybe it would just make him feel worse," Sarah said.

"In the short term it might. However, it would probably also pull down a barrier between you. So, in the long term, it would probably be worth it. I'm not going to lie, hearing about some of the stuff Brenda went through that I had no idea wasn't too fun. But I think I needed to know it because it was part of her if that makes sense," Cooper said.

"Maybe," Sarah said her voice trailed off as she heard a knock at her door. "Hold on a sec, Coop," she said and removed her cell phone from her face before she called, "Who is it?"

"It's Joey."

"Hold on a second," Sarah called back. She spoke back into her cell phone. "That's Joey," she said.

"Maybe you should talk to him. He's cool right and you trust him."

"I guess, he usually doesn't give me a hard time or go along with everyone else when they're attacking me," Sarah said.

"So why don't you talk to him? I'll be around later if you need me," Cooper said.

"You always are."

"Take care of yourself, Sarah."

"Umm yeah," Sarah said. She closed her phone before Cooper could challenge that. "You can come in, Joey," she called.

She waited as the door opened and her uncle stepped into the room. Technically, by blood, she supposed Joey was only a cousin, although since her grandpa had adopted him, he was also her uncle and she actually saw him more in that role since he was older and had always kind of looked out for her. He and Drew had been her heroes when she was little.

Her Uncle Todd had been her hero once too she supposed. Yet, learning years later what he had done to multiple women she could barely stand to be in the same room with him most days. Not that anyone acknowledged that. Everyone just acted like that had never happened. Todd had been pardoned for a lot of his crimes because he had saved some children from a horrible accident and they had petitioned to have him pardoned. Sarah was one of those children, along with her brother CJ and Jessica. Maybe she had been too young to understand what they were doing and she really hadn't understood exactly what Todd had done. But when she looked back on it at twenty-two it was hard to not feel like in a way they had violated Todd's victims all over again.

It was even harder to not feel that way since Todd had committed further violent crimes after his pardon. Todd hadn't gone to jail for them either though. He had faked DID and claimed temporary insanity.

"So, are we still debating if my dad is using me to get to Cooper?" Sarah asked.

"What?"

"Oh, Natalie didn't share Jared's theory with you?"

"No, but Jared shared his other theory," Joey said sitting down on the floor by her bed.

"You can sit on my bed; your back is going to be killing you tomorrow if you sit on the floor."

"Thanks, I just didn't want to be too close if that made you uncomfortable. When you do that Armadillo thing, I'm always afraid you're thinking about everything with Cain."

"A little, umm, yeah. Oh, did you know that the kind of Armadillos we have in Texas can't do this?"

"What?" Joey asked.

"Well it's the nine plated Armadillo that is native to North America mostly Texas. They have too many plates to really curl up and evade predators that way so they tend to jump up into the air, unfortunately that also results in a lot of highway demise for them. It's the three plated one that can curl up but they live in South America," Sarah said.

"I'll keep that in mind. So, when did you become an Armadillo expert?"

"Actually, Cooper told me. He's a little obsessed with them."

"He's obsessed with Armadillos?"

"Well not in an unhealthy bestiality kind of way. I think it kind of started as a joke with Logan actually. So, what is Jared's new theory?" Sarah asked.

"He thinks you're pregnant."

"He what?"

"I didn't say he made any sense but you asked so I figured it was better to hear it from me than to have Jared toss it out later."

"I can't be pregnant," Sarah said.

"Ok, well, if you were, we could handle that."

"Umm, yeah, but I'm hardly a candidate for immaculate conception."

"You know what Cain did to you was horrible and not your fault in any way. You do know that, right?" Joey said.

Sarah shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes I think you might be right, other times. I don't know. Cooper keeps telling me that I'm strong and I can face this and I can make my own future and I want to believe him it's just hard sometimes."

"I'm sure it is. I agree with Cooper though. So, you like this guy?"

Sarah felt her face get warm. Joey would think she was blushing about Cooper but it wasn't really that, but she couldn't explain that. So, she just mumbled, "He's really nice. Plus, he's honest and trustworthy."

"He always seemed like a good kid when he was around with his mom. She was very proud of him," Joey said.

"Yeah she was."

"Your dad is proud of you too, Sarah. He probably even tells you on occasion since he wasn't raised a Buchanan."

"Sometimes, he was psyched about college."

"Yeah, I think that's a good thing for you. Freshman year is the worst part, it gets a lot better after that you get to take more interesting classes and stuff."

"I guess, I'm taking economics in the spring. I'm not looking forward to that."

"I thought that was your minor?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, it kind of is, I guess now that I'm on the board of a major international oil conglomerate that will come in handy but that doesn't mean I can't hate the class," Sarah said.

"Something like that," Joey said.

"So you weren't any more thrilled with the will than anyone else."

"Oh I don't really care about the money it will never be that. I guess I just hate BE and I really don't want anything to do with it. It never brought out anything good for anyone in this family as far as I'm concerned."

"Do you feel a little guilty that he gave it to us though and we don't want it?" Sarah asked.

"Sometimes, but sometimes I agree with Uncle Bo that maybe it's just one more way for him to yank our chain."

"Do you feel worse that sometimes you truly thought you hated him or that you should have?"

"I never really hated Grandpa. I was frustrated a lot but it's probably different for you because it was different for your dad. I loved Grandpa but I don't think I need to apologize for wanting to be my own man."

"Yeah, my dad never hated him though so I guess hating him on my father's behalf is bad."

"I can understand it though. You were still little when everything went down but he was out of line with your father and when your dad left BE in 1997 that changed your life too."

"Yeah, but my father didn't know what was going to happen to us. I really don't think he would have left us with Tina if he had. What I never understood though was why if dad came back to BE because everyone thought Grandpa was dead in 2001, he didn't leave again after they learned he faked his death."

"You would have to ask your father but I think by then he had just kind of accepted that Asa was going to be Asa as he puts it."

"Do you think his will was written to try to bring my dad back from Acme?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know. I think some of it was just his desire for family solidarity. Even though he did more to ruin that than foster it when he was alive, I think it was his goal," Joey said.

"Is it just because we have money that everything is so weird?"

"No, I think it's because we're dysfunctional. You've gotten to know Kirk Quartermaine a little in college, right?"

"Some, I hang out with Dylan some because he's Ned's brother and he's always hanging out with Kirk and Jen. She's not actually my distant relative though, or I don't think she is."

"What?"

"Oh, Kirk is dating a girl named Jennifer Roberts who I don't think I'm related to. Roberts is a pretty common last name, she's from the Midwest originally, and I guess I really have Buchanan-Lord blood anyway, lucky me," Sarah said.

"Ok, yeah I think I met her at Emily's wedding. See, when I pointed out that our family was dysfunctional when I was eighteen, dad said if I wanted to see dysfunction spend a month with the Quartermaines."

"Was this after your mom caught you in bed with Dorian?" Sarah asked.

Joey blushed. "Umm, yeah, anyway, I was kind of a literal thinker back then and I was really desperate to not come from the most dysfunctional family on the planet."

"So, you spent a month with Eddie Q and he's even worse so I should feel bad for Kirk and Dylan?"

"Well, I did the ELQ summer internship in 1994. I guess I was almost twenty-one then. But it was right after mom and dad divorced so I needed to be anywhere but Llanview."

"I'm surprised you were allowed to do that wasn't that like BE Betrayal or something?"

"No, actually grandpa thought I was going to steal ELQ secrets he was all for it," Joey said.

"Did you?"

"No, I probably couldn't have even if I wanted to. It's not like summer interns get to work on all the top-secret stuff. I actually hung out with Ned most of the summer."

"You did? But isn't he a lawyer? Also, weren't you a religious studies major?"

"Yeah, but what I really was, was kind of a screw up. I did a bunch of studying abroad but wasn't really making much progress towards a degree. Ned was only five years older than I was and he was already done with college and law school. I really had no clue what I was doing which is I think why Mr. Quartermaine assigned me to their legal department. I was a glorified courier in a way I brought Ned's work back and forth for him. He was a really nice guy though and didn't make me feel like a peon."

"Yeah, Ned is cool, even if he does veto half of my great ideas."

"Why does he veto them?"

"He says he's just tabling them, you know until I actually think them through and work out the logistics of course. Basically, it's the nice way to veto them."

"Or maybe he just really wants you to stop and think for a minute," Joey said.

"You say that as if I never do."

"No, that wasn't what I meant. I just think sometimes you skip over a few steps and it comes back to haunt you later. As Mr. Quartermaine used to say, when you cut corners things become very unbalanced."

"He said that? Did he give you motivational speeches?"

"Well not really but I lived with Alan and Monica that summer so we had meals together and well that was an experience."

"Food fight galore?"

"No, they were pretty civil, loud, but civil. Lila insisted on the civility. But, anyway, my whole point was that I did find some common ground that summer. Edward Quartermaine loves his kids, and his grandkids, and I guess he finally has great grandkids. He has a different moral code than Asa but maybe we just have to be able to accept that."

"So you mean Eddie Q isn't a criminal crook?"

"Well, no, he can be ruthless in the boardroom when he needs to be but he doesn't believe he's above the law and he expects those who work for him to uphold that as well. When he hired Ned in 1993 everyone considered it nepotism and stupid because Ned was just out of law school but he fired Paul Hornsby because Edward caught him bribing a zoning official."

"Now see grandpa would have given that guy a raise," Sarah said.

"Yes, and that sentiment has always been difficult for both your father and Uncle Bo to get past. Uncle Bo especially I presume because he's frequently been in the position of needing to either arrest his father or look the other way. He's done both and I don't think either have been easy for him."

"I understand. I guess John Quartermaine is the PCPD Chief but I guess it's easier for him."

"Probably somewhat. I guess that what I'm trying to say not very well is that you can find your way out of the dysfunctional family patterns you grew up with. It doesn't mean you have to reject your family. You can still love them just not let them push you into the unhealthy roles."

"Our family is so messed up."

Joey smiled. "You think?"

"So, do you just sit there all day and pray for our souls?"

"No, although please don't ever scare me like you did last month again."

"Oh, yeah, like I got that sick on purpose."

"I know, I just wish we hadn't all been down in Texas when it happened."

"It wouldn't have really changed anything. Anyway, Cooper was there and, although I don't really remember this. I guess Dr. Quartermaine is a really good doctor. Even though I'm sure Grandpa completely attacked and undermined her."

"He did a little. But I guess she did really well she got you intubated and drained the fluid from around your lung and you started to get better."

"What do you think would happen if there was another heir out there? Grandpa's will kind of hinted there was more than one."

"Well, with Asa being Asa, as your dad says, there might be another dozen heirs out there."

"But do you think they would be more accepted than Jared is? The Quartermaines are like all over Ned's daughter Brooke. I mean I think Edward loves her as much as Emily and Kirk."

"I'm sure he does. Anyway, Jared is a special case, because he's just a jerk. Bring us a semi sane, new relative who isn't just out for himself and we might do ok."

"What if it was someone like Drew?" Sarah asked.

"Are you saying Uncle Bo has another son?" Joey asked.

"No, I just meant hypothetically."

"Why do I have a feeling that this is a less than hypothetical hypothetical?" Joey asked.

"Well maybe a little but can you just trust me on this?"

"What is really going on, Sarah?"

"I just overheard Grandpa saying something, that's all. I probably misunderstood anyway and everyone hates me already so can we just not go anywhere with this please?" Sarah pleaded. _Ok so reading the letters was sort of like overhearing, well not really but maybe it was her latent Buchanan blood that was helping her to lie. Or maybe it was her Lord blood, she had never seen Cooper lie._

"Sarah everyone doesn't hate you."

"Well Natalie and Jess do. Kevin thinks I'm going to steal his inheritance which I don't want anyway. Nora, well, she hates me and somehow she blames me for everything that happened to Riley and, you know, sometimes I'm afraid she's right. Now Matthew I think he kind of likes me but sometimes I'm afraid it's just because I remind him of Jen. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Joey."

"It's ok, I did care about Jen once and I never wanted anything to happen to her but it's ok for you to mention her name. Sarah the only thing that worries me about all of this is that you have the same look in your eyes as you did four years ago when you begged me not to tell your father you were in Llanview. I regret that."

"It isn't your fault."

"I'm not saying that, I just think maybe things would have been different. But they aren't so who is this secret new heir?"

"Joey please just let it go. Please! I'm probably not even right. I'm sure Grandpa will tell us when he feels it's right."

"Ok, you should come down and have dessert. Or have your dinner that you didn't touch earlier."

"I'm really not hungry."

"How can you not be hungry? You barely touched dinner."

"Nigel made me pancakes this morning. Anyway, I'm a vegetarian and it's not like anyone really considered that when they were planning dinner."

"I thought Jess was going to make lasagna."

"She was, but then she decided it wasn't lasagna unless it had meat in it. Although you know who makes to die for spinach lasagna? Kirk Quartermaine's mom. We did this group project at their house and she made us dinner which was kind of nice."

"You took a class with Kirk? I thought he was a junior."

"He is but he was in my marketing class. He's majoring in biochemistry I think, way over my head thank you very much. He was just taking marketing to fulfill some distribution breadth requirement or something like that," Sarah said.

"Yeah, I think that was why I took a really watered-down Biology course," Joey said.

"I think I'm taking that in the spring. I never really did the final pre-registration meeting with my advisor so she's probably going to stick me with all kinds of crappy courses. I'm glad we talked but I'm really tired."

"I understand just remember you can always come to Uncle Joey, right?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime. I think dad's going over to patch things up with Dorian but you might want to get in on the annual family poker tournament later," Joey said as he stood up and started over to the door.

"Patch things up with Dorian?"

"Oh, she interrupted dinner after you excused yourself. She, Nora, and Mom got into it so Dad told her he would visit her later if she left. Of course, then Jessie revealed that Dorian was ticked dad was kissing Nora which went over real well with Uncle Bo."

"Ooops, how did Matt take it?"

"He had already sent himself from the room before Jessie let that slip."

"So, do you think your dad is making up with Dorian so he doesn't have to face his feelings for Nora?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not sure. I kind of think that Nora's whole deal with dad is that she can't face that Bo is with Lindsay. This is her way of saying hey I'm here to Uncle Bo."

"I never thought of that. You know I guess Lindsay makes the list too."

"What list is that?"

"Women who can't contain themselves with one Buchanan-you know Dorian, Nora, Lindsay, Kelly, I guess Blair too because she apparently dated both my dad and Kevin over a decade apart in between marriages to Todd."

"Your dad was just trying to keep her out of trouble mostly she kind of tried to take things a bit further plus how could you forget that Blair was also married to Grandpa? It takes a special woman to be married to the Grandpa and dating the grandsons. I guess mom fits on that list too because well Uncle Ben was really a Buchanan. Then there is Cassie Callison, Dorian's daughter she was married to both Uncle Bo and to Kevin. Plus Delila Ralston, she was dating Uncle Bo ended up marrying Grandpa I think maybe she was wife #6 but then they divorced and she and Uncle Bo got married. It didn't really last but she ended up married to Rafe Garetson who is Great Aunt Jeannie's son. Oh, and Becky Lee Hunt was married to Grandpa I think after she found out she was pregnant with Uncle Bo's baby. The list probably goes on but I'm getting a headache."

"I think I've already got one."

Joey laughed. "Yeah I think this is my cue to go do something mindless. I'm sure Matthew is up for some video games."


	6. Chapter 5: Another Time, Another Place

**Chapter 5: Another Time, Another Place**

December 26, 2007

Clint Buchanan sat on the tarmac of Philadelphia International Airport aboard the BE Jet. It wasn't quite nine yet but he got up, strolled over to the wet bar against one end of the plane, and poured a gin and tonic, heavy on the gin. Gin had always been Julia's drink of choice.

 _February 28, 1986_

 _Clint Buchanan looked down at the blonde-haired woman lying in his arms. In less than twenty-four hours he would be married, but not to her._

 _He felt Julia stir in his arms. "Clint?" she asked turning her head to look up into her eyes._

 _"_ _Yes, love," Clint responded pulling her up close to him._

 _"_ _You're really going to go through with this aren't you?" Julia asked._

 _Even in the dimly lit room Clint could see that her eyes were moist. Julia Barrett wouldn't let him see her cry though. She had never let any man see her cry after her father had walked away from her tears without a second thought after her mother Margaret committed suicide. Clint cupped her chin and drew in a breath. In a different world they could have been so good together._

 _"_ _Don't do this, Julia, we've been through this. Viki and I have children together and we need to give them another chance."_

 _"_ _If the first two marriages didn't work then why are you so sure the third time will be the charm?"_

 _"_ _Because it's going to have to be. Our kids are out of control. Megan was just diagnosed with Lupus. Kevin just became a daddy himself at seventeen over the summer. He and LeeAnn don't have a clue what they are doing. Joey has spent so much time in the hospital with his asthma he may be repeating the sixth grade. Even sweet little Jessie tried to burn down Llanfair. As much as I hate to admit it, Viki is right we made vows for our children and we owe it to them to honor them. If Cord can make it work with Tina for CJ and Sarah then I can keep a stiff upper lip for my crew as well."_

 _Julia sat up and pulled away from him. "Well if you've made up your mind then I suppose there isn't much I should say."_

 _Clint watched her dress, memorizing every curve in silence._

He had married Viki the next day. They went to Disney for their honeymoon, Jessie's choice, and slept in Cinderella's regal castle. He got back into the humdrum of married life. He and Viki had decided that their marriage might be more exciting if they didn't work together so he had left the Banner and taken a senior VP job at BE. He thought about Julia frequently, although she would never understand he had never chosen Viki over her but his children over both of them.

Eventually he heard through the grapevine that Julia, who was going by Julia Sinclair, was pregnant. There was some presumption of the secret spouse, perhaps even a Mr. Mom type, he had heard. But Clint knew the truth, Sinclair had been her mother's maiden name, and the baby she was carrying had to be his.

Efforts to contact her were unsuccessful. Even his heartfelt letter went unanswered. Clint felt like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Except he wasn't caught. Many women would have gone running to his wife, heck Tina had known that timing wise there was no possible way Sarah could have been his but that didn't stop her from planting the seeds of doubt in Viki's mind. Julia just seemed determined to just do everything herself. After exhausting all other options Clint finally just showed up at her apartment building, slipped a few crisp hundred dollar bills to her doorman, and was waiting on the couch when she came home one Thursday night.

 _October 23, 1986_

 _"_ _How did you get in here?" Julia Barrett fumed coming through the door dropping her attaché case to the ground in her fury._

 _"_ _Your doorman let me in. Nice place, I like what you've done with the nursery. I take it we're having a boy," Clint Buchanan said calmly dropping his paper down._

 _"_ _We are not having anything, and you are leaving," Julia said gesturing in the direction of the door._

 _Clint didn't budge. She was even more alluring when she was angry. Pregnancy suited her well. Viki had been miserable, moody, and big as a house when she had been pregnant with Jessie, in fact, it had almost led to their second divorce. Actually, life hadn't gotten much better after Jessie was born and they had gotten their second divorce. Viki blamed that on his affair with Tina Lord-Roberts. He supposed that was fair. Of course, being unhappy in their marriage was what had pushed him into the affair with his sister in law, who unfortunately happened to be his daughter in law as well. In short it had been a complicated disaster._

 _"_ _You know there are laws against breaking and entering, and stalking," Julia said._

 _However, Clint noted that she had shut the door. "Your doorman let me in and if you would return my calls, email, anything then I wouldn't have to show up on your doorstep like this. Don't make this uglier than it has to be," he said._

 _"_ _You should go home to your wife."_

 _"_ _I'm not going to have another son taken away from me!"_

 _"_ _You aren't, he isn't your son."_

 _"_ _I don't believe you."_

 _"_ _I don't care what you believe. If you want a paternity test then get a court order. Just be prepared to explain everything to Viki. Somehow I don't see her being too thrilled that you spent the night before your third marriage attempt sleeping with another woman."_

 _"_ _All I know is that I lost one son and I'm not losing another. Cordero and I might as well be strangers. Sometimes I think he might even hate me."_

 _"_ _Well, you did sleep with his wife," Julia pointed out._

 _"_ _Hey, at least I didn't marry her," Clint said. That was a bit of a sore subject in the Buchanan family. His father Asa had led his younger brother Bo to believe that he was really a Ralston and then snatched away his girlfriend Delilah. Bo and his father weren't exactly on speaking terms at the current moment._

 _"_ _I'm not sure that is really a great consolation for Cord. Now, Sarah, on the other hand, could be considered that. She was enough to bring him back to Tina."_

 _"_ _Yes, children really can reunite a couple," Clint said. That was the main reason he had remarried Viki for the third time. Of course, that raised the question of how to deal with Julia's child. He wanted to be part of his son's life without risking facing his wife's alter Niki Smith's wrath._

 _"_ _We don't really have anything to reunite Clint. Anyway, this baby isn't yours."_

 _"_ _Who's is it then?"_

 _"_ _That's none of your business," Julia spat._

 _"_ _Julia, I want to help."_

 _"_ _You can't. Listen, Clint, this isn't your child so you can sacrifice your marriage for nothing or you can be patient and I'll give you your paternity test in January."_

 _"_ _January? But that is over two months away."_

 _"_ _Well I'm not due until later December, so, you can either leave me in peace for the rest of this pregnancy or you can play hardball. But see, Clint, when Buchanans try to play hardball with Barretts they always lose. Ask Asa if you don't believe me," Julia said. With that she very calmly got up from the couch, walked back over to the door, and opened it._

 _Numbly Clint filed out._

He had gotten his paternity test, one which claimed to exclude him as a possible father. But even after a second test he had never really believed that Cooper H. Barrett wasn't his son. By then his father had been involved, but that just made things worse. In contrast to how he had handled Maria Vasquez, Asa had attempted to pay Julia to give up her son. When that hadn't worked, he had attempted to buy her off in another way by offering her an executive job at BE. But Julia hadn't been interested and reluctantly Clint had stepped back and Julia had worked her way up through the corporate ladder at Barrett Industries.

Julia avoided him for years, even after he and Viki finally admitted things were over for the final time in 1994. By then Megan had lost her great battle. Joey had been seduced by Dorian Lord a few years earlier at age eighteen. He spent that summer interning at ELQ in Port Charles, NY and came back claiming that the Quartermaines were much closer to a sane and functional family on their worst day than perhaps the Buchanans would ever be on their best day. He also announced he had given up on business and was switching to religious studies so he could prepare to enter a doctoral program of divinity. After drug testing revealed that Joey wasn't even toking on cannabis Clint had shook his head sadly and attempted to move on.

Moving on led him to a brief marriage with Lindsay Rappaport which had it's own consequences including the fact that Jessie got pregnant with her stepbrother Will's baby at seventeen after a night of underage drinking at the Buchanan lodge. The marriage didn't last and the baby didn't survive when Jessica was struck by a car driven by Dorian Lord. Things spiraled further out of control as Jessica ineffectively grieved for baby Megan and moved in with Will.

While he had been caught up in Jessie's problems, on the BE front, Cord had taken over as CEO in late 1995 and even staved off a hostile take over from corporate raider Jasper Jacks. They had never really celebrated Cord's coup because it was around the same time that Jessie had lost the baby and Clint had detached from BE somewhat by that time. It wasn't until later that year that his father blew any kind of uneasy truce with Cord out of the water when he tried to have him committed to Oakhaven in his bid to take back the BE reigns.

In then end Cord walked away from BE and, largely, the Buchanan family. He purchased an international drilling company and prepared to move to London in early 1997.

 _December 5, 1996_

 _"_ _You know you don't have to do this, Cordero," Clint told his oldest son as they sat in the main dining room of the Palace Hotel._

 _"_ _Asa hasn't given me any other choices and you know that," Cord said._

 _Clint noted how he carefully truncated the statement without addressing him. Perhaps it was kinder than shoving in his face that he couldn't and wouldn't ever really consider him a father. "You have other options, Cordero."_

 _"_ _No, I really don't. Well thanks for breakfast but I see that Ned just walked in so I guess I've really got to get to this meeting."_

 _"_ _What meeting?"_

 _"_ _Well, since I couldn't seem to get any kind of financing, gee I wonder why? I had to find several private investors, ELQ Diversified is one of them."_

 _"_ _You know going to Edward Quartermaine is a sure way to tick your grandfather off. Is that what you really want, Cordero?"_

 _"_ _Of course, it's not what I want! You and Asa will never get it. It wasn't about the money, it wasn't about the power. It was about the family, but the reality is sometimes you have to actually get off the darn family values soap box and actually value your family," Cord said. Then he got up from the table and started across the room._

 _"_ _Cordero!" Clint called in frustration. He got up from the table and stalked across the room after his son only to collide with a familiar blonde woman. He reached for Julia to steady her. "Julia, what a pleasant surprise," he said and he was momentarily distracted from his prior conquest._

 _"_ _Excuse me," Julia said tersely as she peeled herself from his embrace. "I'm late for a meeting."_

 _"_ _Yes, we're going to conference room C and we really should get started because I know you, Ned, and Celia all want to get back to Port Charles tonight," Cord said._

 _"_ _So, you weren't quite sure that bringing ELQ into this was enough to put your grandfather in an early grave so you thought why not bring good old Harlan Barrett in as well? Who's next Dorian Lord?" Clint fumed._

 _"_ _Not that it is really any of your business what your former employees do, Mr. Buchanan, but I'm investing in Norscott as an individual not as a representative of Barrett Industries. Come on, boys, I have a son to get back to and none of our children are getting any younger," Julia said as she swiveled away from him. She sauntered out of the dining room swinging her hips as she walked with Ned Ashton and Cord following in her wake._

The Norscott Deal went through and though Asa fumed and insisted it would fail Cord was very successful. By 1999, as BE was losing their international foothold, Asa fired their UK Divison Head and sent Clint to London. The move wasn't the hardship it might have appeared. Clint figured it was his last chance to connect with both of his estranged sons.

Ironically Cooper was the one he saw first. He hadn't truly picked Cooper out of the crowd that March day as he had stepped into the Shepherd and Dog. Truly he had recognized Julia and just presumed that the brown-haired child with her was their son. By his math Cooper would have turned twelve the prior December and probably was already protesting being called a child.

 _March 13, 1999_

 _Stepping inside the Shepherd and Dog was a welcome reprieve from the steady drizzle that was more cold and annoying than refreshing. Since recent conversations with his eldest son Cord had been mostly relegated to the weather Clint had heard all about the extended gloomy, overcast, and rainy season in London that seemed to last from February through August. Clint gave his umbrella a quick shake and then closed it._

 _As he looked up he caught sight of a familiar blonde woman, Julia Barrett. Clint had known that she had taken over the International Branch of Barrett Industries which happened to be based in London. He hadn't expected to see her so soon but he had fully intended to look her up. He wanted to see her, he wanted to see his son._

 _Julia didn't seem to notice his gaze, as she was too engrossed in her conversation with the brown haired, dark eyed child sitting next to her, his son. He was almost surprised he recognized Cooper as the only mental image of the boy he had came from a few pictures he had seen of him with Sarah. Apparently although Julia was determined to keep her son from his father, she had no problem exposing him to his brother, nephew, and niece. Clint didn't believe he realized his relationship to those people but at least he had some relationship with them. Perhaps Julia would allow him that as well if he didn't push her to acknowledge his paternity._

 _Clint made his way to their table hesitantly. By his math Cooper should have just turned twelve in December. He remembered when Kevin had been twelve, when Joey had been. Kevin's son Duke would be fourteen in the summer. It was amazing how quickly he had grown up._

 _"_ _Julia," Clint began._

 _Cooper turned to look first and Clint could read both curiosity but also protectiveness in his eyes._

 _"_ _Hello, Clint. I don't think you've ever met my son, Cooper. Cooper, Mr. Buchanan is an old friend of mommy's," Julia said. There wasn't bitterness in her tone but there wasn't any warmth either._

 _Cooper stood and extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Buchanan."_

 _Clint took his son's hand impressed by his grip. "It's nice to meet you too, Cooper. You can call me Clint."_

 _Cooper glanced to Julia for approval and although her expression was somewhat hidden due to her position, she must have not indicated her pleasure with that idea because Cooper just sat down without further comment._

 _"_ _Cord is meeting us, Clint, so maybe this isn't a great idea," Julia said._

 _Clint could feel the anger rising inside at the fact that Julia thought that she had the right to deny him access to both of his sons. But he was stuck because if he caused a scene, not only would that scare his son but it would just give Julia another reason to keep their child away. So, as had become his new modus operandi with Julia Barrett, he turned and slunk away._

Clint poured himself another drink as he tried to let go of the defeated memory. He supposed after that things had gotten slightly better. It had just required him to give a mile in order to gain a yard. That had been the road to getting to know his son. That had been a hard road paved with Julia's insistence that Cooper wasn't his son, but that she supposed that it was alright if Cooper wanted to spend time with him just as a friend. But he had been desperate so he had taken it and tried to convince himself it was enough.

It hadn't been though because the relationship had been artificial. Julia didn't trust him enough to leave him alone with "her" son so all his words were edited for her approval. She also never allowed him any say in the major decisions in his child's life. He sure hadn't wanted his kid to celebrate his eighteenth birthday in Iraq. But then he hadn't had another option. He finally did and he wasn't going to let it go.


	7. Chapter 6: Failure to Launch

**Chapter 6: Failure to Launch**

"Mr. Buchanan, Air traffic control reports it is unlikely we will be cleared for take off for at least a few hours. The storm really seems to be picking up," the pilot said. He entered the main plane from the cockpit as Clint finished his second drink of the morning.

Clint glanced down at his watch. It was after ten, it was amazing how time could fly when one was surrounded by unpleasant memories.

"Did you want to deplane, Mr. Buchanan?"

"No, Vince, I want us in the air just as soon as possible. Not a second after air traffic control lifts the grounding!"

"As you wish, Mr. Buchanan," Vince said. He turned and headed back into the cock pit.

Clint poured himself another drink. He should have hated Julia for the way she had kept their child from him. But he had never been able to. In fact, even after Cooper was off in Iraq, just being in the same room with her was still exhilarating. Julia, however, had long since moved on; to his son no less. He supposed that was a twist since Asa had been the one to steal a few of Bo's loves and he and Tina had the affair although in all of those cases he thought it was actually lust. But he had come to realize that his son really did love Julia and he had attempted to make things right by stepping back. Not that Cordero had ever appreciated his concession of course.

The problem was that there were things Cordero didn't understand; truths Julia had apparently never been able to or seen fit to share with him. His son might have been her lover, but lovers didn't always share a soul, and Clint had a feeling that although Cord might have loved Julia the love had never been requited by her. The things about her that Cordero would never understand had only increased the tension between him and his eldest son after Julia's death.

 _January 27, 2007_

 _Clint finished his scotch while waiting for Julia's sister's friend to return so they could finally order. Instead of apologizing for his rudeness when he joined them, he suggested that they had been talking about him. Obviously, the ego needed to be lowered a few pegs Clint decided._

 _"_ _No, Clint just felt the need to pull us all down further. It's a special talent he has," Celia Quartermaine, an environmental and material sciences engineer and the director of ELQ West, said._

 _"_ _Celia," Ned Ashton began. His voice faded out as if he was searching for a way to reprimand his older cousin without putting himself in the company doghouse._

 _"_ _No, that's fine, Ned, we're going to have to have this conversation sometime," Clint said._

 _"_ _Ok, well then why don't we agree that the day of Julia's funeral isn't exactly the time," Cord said._

 _"_ _I agree," Celia said._

 _"_ _You can't blame me forever, Celia," Clint protested._

 _"_ _I don't blame you, but we've been through this before and Cord is right and this is neither the time or the place. Your earlier comment was out of line and you know it, moving on."_

 _"_ _You know if separate ends of the table doesn't suffice I suppose we could do separate tables," Cord said._

 _"_ _No, it won't be a problem," Celia said._

 _"_ _So, is Cooper going to take over Acme?" Clint asked._

 _Brenda winced at the question. "I don't really think so. But we haven't even really begun to get into the business side of things," she said._

 _"_ _Hiram Jennings was the attorney Julia used. The probate process will probably be a little more complicated because you're going to have to process this in the United States and most of Acme's holdings are in the United Kingdom but he's pretty good you shouldn't have a problem. If you need anything you can call me but Ned may be of more help to you," Cord said._

 _"_ _I actually already spoke with Mr. Jennings and he was going to go ahead and start the probate process," Ned said._

 _"_ _Of course, knowing Julia, she probably had some highly creative plan for who her successors would be," Clint said._

 _"_ _No, that would the kind of thing Asa would do. I can guarantee Julia's is a lot more straightforward," Cord said._

 _"_ _Does that mean you've seen her will?" Clint asked._

 _"_ _I haven't actually seen it but we've discussed what she would want to happen and it sounded reasonable," Cord said._

 _"_ _There are a lot of things you don't understand, Cordero," Clint said._

 _"_ _I could say the same thing about you," Cord retorted._

 _Brenda shook her head. "You know all of this crossing and back crossing time zones must have really caught up with me. I hate to be rude but I really need to get some sleep," she said._

 _"_ _Why don't Celia and I walk you out?" Ned suggested standing and looking at Celia._

 _After the Quartermaine contingent had left, Cord said, "You know just once you could remember it isn't all about you."_

 _"_ _I haven't said anything untrue," Clint said._

 _"_ _Your perception is so skewed you have no idea what is even true I think. But that's not even the point," Cord said._

Cord never really did get his opportunity to explain what the point was because Dorian had shown up then and they had decided to retire to her room for room service and other activities. Perhaps Clint should have indulged the conversation because their differences in perspective created yet another nightmare when Julia's will was finally read.

Clint supposed he hadn't been specifically invited, but Hiram Jennings had a left message for Cord at BE that Clint had intercepted. He supposed he had wondered if perhaps Julia would finally admit the truth about their son in her final will and testament.

After the will reading Clint believed that was exactly what Julia had tried to do. Her will wasn't that creative. The bulk of her estate went to her son. Brenda got her Tempo shares, Cooper got her Norscott shares, and Sarah got some money that was required to be used for school. Julia thumbed her nose at her father by giving her Barrett Industries stock to ELQ Diversified. It was the final part that was the most interesting though. Julia named Cord as Acme's Presiding Trustee until Cooper's twenty fifth birthday or until Cooper appointed a blood relative with approval of the board. From Clint's perspective, Julia had been giving him permission to tell their son the truth and an opportunity to run her company with him.

Cord, however, didn't share his perspective.

 _February 15, 2007_

 _"_ _You might as well hold your resignation letter," Clint said when Cord walked into his office at BE._

 _"_ _I didn't expect you to readily accept this but I'm not changing my mind on this," Cord said._

 _"_ _Well you can go ahead and resign. You can even start redecorating Julia's office at Acme but as soon as I tell Cooper the truth then I think I'll be replacing you."_

 _Cord laughed. "See this is where refusing to see the truth in front of you will come back to haunt you."_

 _"_ _What truth is that?"_

 _"_ _To begin with, you need to accept that Cooper is not your son. Two paternity tests showed that and two hundred more will show the same thing. Now that we've cleared that up then Cooper's only known blood relative is Harlan Barrett who has no interest in Acme."_

 _"_ _Acme would make a nice BE subsidiary," Clint said._

 _"_ _That will never happen," Cord said._

 _"_ _So who is Cooper's father if you know so much?" Clint asked._

 _"_ _That's unimportant to this conversation."_

 _"_ _Unless you can prove to me that someone else is the father, then I'm going to do what I have to, to protect my son's legacy."_

 _"_ _Cooper isn't your son and I will not let you use him as your pawn."_

 _"_ _He was Julia's pawn for twenty years just like you let Tina use your kids," Clint said. But once the words had left his lips he regretted them._

 _Cord just laid the resignation letter on his desk and walked out of his office._

Clint licked his wounds for awhile after that encounter. Cord left BE and started at Acme. There was a brief calm before the storm until Asa learned the true terms of Julia's will.

 _March 19, 2007_

 _Clint Buchanan looked up from the Chandler Enterprises prospectus as his father came blustering into his office._

 _"_ _You know I wasn't born yesterday, Clinton!" Asa said after he plopped into the chair on the other side of his son's desk._

 _"_ _No, of course not, Pa," Clint said. His father was past eighty and hardly gullible._

 _"_ _So then why did I have to find out about Julia's will from Edward Quartermaine?" Asa asked._

 _"_ _Yeah, she hated the old man enough to give her Barrett Industries shares to Edward, funny how that works," Clint said._

 _"_ _That's only mildly interesting, I was referring to the fact that she gave her company to you. My only question is why isn't the BE flag already flying out front?"_

 _"_ _She named Cordero as her presiding trustee. I'm not sure what that has to do with me."_

 _"_ _You're afraid of your son, aren't you? There is no place for fear my son, you're a Buchanan!"_

 _"_ _I'm not afraid of Cordero," Clint protested._

 _"_ _I was referring to your other son, his mother finally came to her senses and I will not allow you to deprive him of his birthright," Asa said._

 _"_ _Cooper will be able to take over Acme when he is twenty-five. That gives him time to finish his education I suppose."_

 _"_ _I'm not referring to some cartoon company. Your son is a Buchanan and it's time the world knows it!" Asa declared emphatically._

Clint had almost taken his father's advice. The only problem with that had been that Julia must have anticipated he would. Before he could tell Cooper the truth, Cordero had reminded him that his appointment was conditional on a vote of the board, of which Cord, as Julia's proxy, controlled seventy percent of. He couldn't win and Cord warned him if he tried it, he would lose a lot more.

He had never seen Cord so emphatically against him. Even when he had walked in on him and Tina he hadn't been that angry. So, he had let it go. Jessica got sick; part of her ex-husband's liver ultimately saved her life. It had been touch and go for awhile though, and it had looked like her body was going to reject Antonio's liver, just as Jessie had passed him over for Nash Brennan. But in the end some new ELQ Pharmaceuticals high powered immunosuppressive turned things around.

Just as their family was celebrating Jessica's survival, even if it had come indirectly courtesy of Edward Quartermaine, everything changed in a heart beat. Or rather in the lack of a heart beat the August morning that Nigel was unable to arouse his boss.

 _August 17, 2007_

 _Clint Buchanan's daughter's screams pulled him away from his conversation with Governor Harris._

 _"_ _Sarah! Sarah!" Jessica Buchanan-Brennan screamed as her cousin crumpled in Cooper Barrett's arms._

 _Cooper lowered her gently to the ground, kneeling down beside her._

 _"_ _Good job there, you can't even hold up someone who weighs like ninety pounds," Jared Banks, BE Employee, sneered._

 _"_ _Actually, preventing syncope can be deadly," Cooper said._

 _Jared turned to Natalie, "I thought you said that your cousin was no longer dating druggies."_

 _Natalie giggled. "I think he's just not very smart, not actually on drugs."_

 _"_ _What happened?" Cord Roberts asked as he and Ned Ashton joined the group._

 _Cooper looked up at Cord. "She wasn't feeling well earlier so she never ate lunch and I think that was a mistake."_

 _Sarah's eyes fluttered open and then she covered her face with her hands._

 _Cooper bent down and whispered something no else heard and then he slid an arm under her shoulders pulling her up to lean against his chest. "I think maybe we just need a little space," Cooper said and Clint noted that it was Jared that his eyes connected with._

 _Clint shuddered a bit as Cooper stood up with Sarah in his arms and started to carry her into the kitchen._

 _"_ _We should go make sure she's alright," Jessica said turning to Natalie._

 _"_ _Jess, just give her a few minutes. She will be ok with Cooper. I think he's right, she needs to calm down and eat something which will be more likely if the entire family doesn't descend on her in the kitchen," Cord said._

 _"_ _Yeah, anorexics don't like to eat in front of people," Jared said._

 _"_ _Why didn't anyone tell me Sarah was anorexic? I guess that's where Starr got the idea from," Jessica said._

 _"_ _Starr is only anorexic when she wants something that her parents won't give her. Basically it's just manipulative attention seeking behavior," Kelly Buchanan said._

 _"_ _That really isn't what eating disorders are. Children don't choose them to torment their parents. In fact, most physicians now realize that there is a genetic predisposition to eating disorders similar to what has been shown with some of the addictions literature," Ned Ashton said._

 _"_ _Let me guess, your daughter has an eating disorder and you aren't quite ready to accept you ruined her life," Jared said._

 _"_ _No, fortunately she doesn't," Ned said quietly._

 _"_ _I don't think it's fair to imply that Cord ruined Sarah's life just because he and Tina didn't get back together. I actually think it's very unfair of Sarah to accuse him of that," Jessica said._

 _"_ _I don't think Sarah is accusing me of anything," Cord said._

 _Clint wondered if his son really believed that._

 _"_ _I didn't mean directly, I meant by her little hunger strike," Jessica said._

 _"_ _Jessica, Sarah doesn't have an eating disorder. She just wasn't hungry earlier," Cord said._

 _"_ _Well, you know denial is very common with eating disorders. Especially with parents," Jared said._

 _"_ _Cord, I don't want you to think I'm saying you were wrong by the way. I mean you have to do what's right for you and it really isn't fair for Sarah to manipulate things this way. I am very sorry that she is doing this to you. Plus, it's very childish. I mean at least Starr is only fifteen. But you know, if you want, I could talk to Sarah. We had a lecture on eating disorders in one of my psychology courses."_

 _"_ _I really don't think that will be necessary, Jessica," Cord said._

 _"_ _Maybe her daddy isn't the only one she is manipulating," Jared said._

 _"_ _Oh, you mean Corey?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _No, Jess, I think it's Colin," Kelly said._

 _"_ _His name is Cooper, and unfortunately he and Sarah are not dating," Cord said._

 _"_ _You say that as if you think it would be a good thing," Clint said._

 _"_ _Well, if she liked him that way, it certainly would. He's a good kid, honest, trustworthy," Cord said._

 _"_ _That's highly ironic considering his mother insisted he be born a bastard. Not much of a legacy there," Clint said._

 _Jared's eyes lit up with interest. "Who is his mother?"_

 _"_ _Cord, I think Celia is trying to get our attention," Ned said nudging his friend away from the conversation and confrontation._

 _Clint finished the rest of his gin and tonic in single gulp. He wondered if his son was so determined to defend Julia's honor in a warped fashion that he would allow his daughter to date her uncle. There were laws against that, not that law abiding was exactly a Buchanan value, but that had actually been one of Cord's arguments for why he would never be a true Buchanan._

 _"_ _So is that freak boy's mother?" Jared asked Natalie referring to Celia Quartermaine who Ned and Cord had joined._

 _Natalie seemed unusually flustered for some reason. "No, that's one of the Quartermaines. I'm not sure who Sarah's boyfriend's mom is he's only been around a few times. He doesn't live in Llanview."_

 _"_ _He isn't her boyfriend!" Clint said._

 _"_ _Well maybe she and Cody will get together that would be nice. Much better than that Hunter psychopath guy. Of course, not everyone can be as lucky as Nash and I are," Jessica said with a sweet smile._

 _"_ _Jessie, honey, please don't encourage Sarah in this," Clint said._

 _"_ _Oh of course not, life is much more important than fashion. In fact, I'm going to go make sure she is actually eating," Jessica said._

As he poured another drink, Clint wondered if maybe he should be worried about Sarah's eating habits. He made it a general policy to not trust anything that came out of Jared's mouth, and he didn't really think Sarah was anorexic. Clint took a deep breath feeling slightly reassured until he remembered Jared's other accusation, that she could possibly be pregnant. Joey had assured him she wasn't; apparently he had asked. But the thought of the possibility that she was even doing things that could lead to pregnancy with her uncle was more than a little disturbing. It was exactly the reason he had no choice but to ensure that Sarah and Cooper both knew the truth about Cooper's parentage.


	8. Chapter 7: It is the Familiar We Hate

**Chapter 7: It is the Familiar That We Hate the Most!**

Joey Buchanan spread mayonnaise on his ham sandwich as Jessica hoisted Bree into her high chair.

"I'm glad we're having this opportunity to talk," Jess said as she dumped a handful of cheerios onto Bree's tray.

"Of course. Bree is growing up so fast I definitely missed a lot with all of my ministry work this past year. Do you want mustard?"

Jess made a face. "No, ewww. Mustard is Natalie's thing, she even puts it on French fries."

"Ok I'll hold the mustard," Joey said. He squirted some on his own sandwich and then started to put everything back into the refrigerator.

"You should have made Sarah a sandwich," Jessica said.

Joey set a plate down in front of his sister. "I doubt Sarah wants a ham sandwich, since she's a vegetarian, and she's asleep," he said.

"Do you think this vegetarian thing is part of her eating disorder?" Jess asked.

"No, because I don't think she has an eating disorder."

"Well, you know she made a big production of not eating dinner yesterday."

"No, I think she got upset and then she wasn't hungry. Anyway, she had a peanut butter sandwich later and she ate pancakes this morning."

"Maybe she's bulimic," Jess said. "I was reading this article about that."

"Jessie, I realize you're trying to help but I think you're mistaken. Maybe the bigger question is what problem in your life are you avoiding dealing with?" Joey asked.

"I'm not avoiding anything, but seriously, Joey, about Sarah, I think she's still upset that she's not Todd's favorite niece. Maybe she thinks that if she does this everyone will be concerned and be nice to her. Jared said that."

"Jared is usually, if not always, wrong so let's just skip over his two-bit analysis on this. However, I don't think it would be bad if we did try to all be a little kinder to Sarah. She definitely has struggled a lot to get to this point."

"Sure, but a lot of that was her own doing. I mean with the drugs and stuff. But I did tell Nora that I thought we should try to forgive her for Riley's sake, maybe."

Joey shook his head and took a large bite of his sandwich to avoid saying something he might later regret to his younger sister. Jess amazed him often. She honestly could be incredibly kind or caring at times; but she could also be extremely biased and hypocritical. "I'm not really sure what Sarah did to Nora that requires forgiveness," he said.

Jessica raised her eyes in amazement. "Well she did drugs."

"She made some mistakes, Jess. She was scared and confused and she didn't make very healthy choices. But, by that logic, does Nora forgive you for your drug use?"

"I never used drugs! That was Tess!" Jessica said indignantly.

Joey wasn't quite sure what his perspective was on that. In one sense the drug decision he supposed had been made when Jessica had not been in conscious control. But in a way he wasn't sure that there was much difference. Jessica had coped the only way she knew how. She had escaped by dissociating, perhaps much the same way Sarah had escaped from feelings she couldn't handle by taking drugs. There was also the issue that he knew that Jessica had played around with drugs in high school. Neither of their parents knew that, Jessica had claimed it would destroy them. So, Joey had never told them. He had made sure she stopped then let it become their secret. It wasn't his style to throw it back in her face so normally he would have just moved on but he was curious about something else. "Was it Tess back in high school?" he finally asked.

"What are you talking about?" Jessica asked but Joey thought the shocked look on her face seemed a bit manufactured.

He could almost believe it had been Tess, except that didn't quite fit. But then the more he read about Dissociative Identity Disorder the more he didn't understand especially when he tried to read in the context of his childhood experiences with a mother with DID. "Do you remember doing cocaine in high school?"

"I did it three times, Joey. From what dad said Sarah like lived on drugs for years and somehow escaped HIV and Hepatitis C. I mean of course I'm glad she did but it was a lot different than my situation." Jessica said.

Joey did think Sarah's situation was much different. Mainly because he didn't think she really believed that she was loved by the family. He didn't think it was as simple as not being Todd's favorite niece. Of course, quite honestly, he thought that Todd announcing he had a favorite niece when he had more than one was inappropriate. But then, Todd had always been inappropriate and it wasn't really about Todd, it was about Sarah feeling so closed off she couldn't tell anyone that she had needed help.

 _February 25, 2004_

 _Joey Buchanan pushed the door to his niece's hospital room open and stepped into the room. "Is she asleep?" he asked when Julia Barrett turned to face the door._

 _"_ _Yes, finally. Cord just went home to take a shower, he should be back in another twenty minutes or so," Julia said._

 _Joey glanced back nervously. "Thanks for sitting with her."_

 _"_ _Of course, she will be ok. I think the worst part of this is over."_

 _"_ _I really had no idea about the drugs," Joey said._

 _"_ _Well, it isn't usually the first thing that someone mentions in conversation. Anyway, she's too desperate to be accepted right now to risk being vulnerable that way," Julia said._

 _"_ _How is Cord dealing with this?"_

 _"_ _Well I don't think he's thrilled that his nineteen-year-old daughter is going through this but one of the problems with drug use in adolescence is that often it halts emotional development so I think he understands that right now emotionally she's probably a lot closer to twelve or thirteen and he's accepting that."_

 _"_ _I hadn't really thought about that. It makes sense."_

 _Julia readjusted the cool compress on Sarah's forehead as she stirred slightly in her sleep. "Yes, it does."_

 _"_ _So, no luck on tracking down her mother?" Joey asked._

 _"_ _I don't think Cord is going to find Tina unless she wants to be found and my sense is that she doesn't."_

 _"_ _Things weren't very good I guess when Sarah left home."_

 _"_ _No, I'm sure they were not," Julia agreed._

"Joey?" Jessica asked.

Joey pulled himself back from his thoughts. "Yes, what?"

"Everything in high school is still our secret right? I mean it would really just kill mom, and with her heart and everything. I just can't put her through that. You understand right?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, sure it's our secret," Joey said.

"Good, so, about Sarah, do you think that maybe we should stage some kind of an intervention?"

"No, because right now I don't think there is a reason to intervene."

"Well, I've been reading about eating disorders."

"Jess, I don't think that is a problem for Sarah what do I have to say to get you to drop this?"

XXXXXX

Sarah awoke slowly. By the minimal light filtering in through the picture window, she suspected it had to be close to five. She started to shut her eyes again still tired as she felt someone stroking her hair. She caught her breath at the sensation but then commanded herself to override the memory. Anyway, it was probably just Joey. She vaguely remembered talking to him after her coughing fit before she fell asleep. She started to turn to roll onto her back but when she caught sight of her couch companion she screamed.

Jared's hand clapped over her mouth. "Shhh. It's just Uncle Jared."

His words were anything but comforting or reassuring and it wasn't just because he had that annoying smirk on his face. As she struggled to get up off the couch and away from him, she saw Joey coming towards her. He shoved Jared out of the way and she found herself in his arms.

"Joey!" Jessica screamed.

"Yeah, what's your problem? She must have had a nightmare or something she was screaming," Jared said.

"Yeah I'm sure Jared wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her," Jessica said.

Sarah just shook her head as her breathing slowly returned to normal. "I need to lie down."

"Right of course, here is a blanket," Jared offered.

"See, he's just trying to help," Jessica insisted.

"I need to lie down upstairs," Sarah said.

"I think that's a good idea. Come on I'll help you," Joey said as Natalie came into the room with Kelly and Kevin.

"What are you all doing in here in the dark?" Natalie asked as she reached over and turned on the light.

"Your cousin seems to be afraid of me," Jared said.

"Oh, don't be silly, Sarah has nothing to be afraid of right, Natalie?" Jessica asked.

Surprisingly Natalie was silent, a very rare state for her. She bit her bottom lip and directed her eyes down towards the floor.

"I'm harmless right, Nattie? Tell your cousin," Jared said.

"Jared would never hurt you, Sarah," Natalie said.

Sarah heard the words but she also heard fear. She didn't understand Jared and Natalie's relationship or the fact that it still seemed to continue even after the revelation that Jared was their uncle. Oh, it was guised as a friendship, or another example of how close the family was. But Sarah wasn't fooled; there were hugs that lasted too long, kisses that were too deep, glances that were anything but innocent. It was sick, wrong, and twisted. It was the Buchanan way but it made Sarah almost physically ill at times because it was too familiar.

Perhaps it was the familiarity that made her determined to prove it was different, because it was. Natalie wasn't twelve and Cain had never had a blood tie. But for half a second as she watched her cousin hesitate and cringe Sarah wondered if her relationship with Jared was mutual and consensual in the moment? In the past? Ever? But she didn't want to think about that because she couldn't so instead, she buried her face in Joey's shoulder and clung to him.

"So now that we've got that all cleared up," Jared said starting to lay a hand on her back.

Sarah flinched at his touch. "Yes, I really just need to lie down. Please!"

"Right. I'm going to take you upstairs," Joey said. He scooped her into his arms and started towards the stairs.


	9. Chapter 8: How We Were Raised

**Chapter 8: How We Were Raised**

"Sarah has always been a little bit of a drama queen though. I mean, hello, she's Tina's daughter," Jessica said.

"True, I mean Tina even tried to pass her off as dad's," Kevin said.

"But I thought Sarah was Cord's daughter?" Jared asked.

"She is, but Tina and dad had an affair so I guess when Tina learned she was pregnant there was some confusion about who the baby's father was," Kevin Buchanan said.

"Right, ok, because, since neither was sterile, it could have been either's baby. I get it now." Jared said.

Anger flashed in Kevin's eyes and he started to stand.

Natalie watched her sister in law Kelly reach for her husband. Kelly was no match for him physically though, so Natalie sucked in her breath waiting for the fallout. Kevin definitely had a temper, and family wasn't necessarily off limits. He and Todd had gone toe to toe or hard head to hard head numerous times. Although perhaps Todd didn't really count because Kevin refused to consider him family. However, he had beaten up his own son Duke once. Ironically, Natalie believed, that beating had been what had set in motion the night that Kelly had slept with her stepson and Zane was created.

Jessica must have also noticed the tension and, since she was Jessica, she felt the need to fix it. "Now Kevin, things happen, and I'm sure Jared was just pointing out facts not being judgmental," Jessica said.

"Of course, listen, you know really what you and Kelly have done with Zane is admirable," Jared said.

Kevin still looked angry, but he did sit down. "Well, you know it matters more how you were raised than the biology," he said.

"Exactly! When Zane is older; he's going to understand completely and realize just how lucky he is," Jessica said with a broad smile.

Natalie winced at the words. If she mentioned them to Jessica later, she would insist that she was only trying to keep the peace by going along with Kevin; and perhaps she had been. However, Natalie didn't really believe that. She knew that, as much as Jessica liked to babble on about them having a twin connection, she really believed that she was Clint Buchanan's real daughter even if her biological father was Mitch Laurence. If Natalie understood family history correctly, Mitch had originally been Sarah's mother's boyfriend back in the late seventies. No one ever mentioned that, but Natalie wondered how his relationship with Tina tied in with her mother's rape and how either of those events tied in with the affair Tina and Clint had years after that.

Natalie had seen the wedding pictures from her parents' third marriage, March 1, 1986. Her father had not looked happy though, not really. Perhaps it had just been the stress of the day, perhaps. In spite of Jessica's stories about how beautiful their wedding had been, Natalie had often wondered if it had been under duress. After all, Jessica had only been seven; she just might not have had perfect insight. In Natalie's opinion, her father looked like a man who had been marrying one woman and in love with another. What Natalie had started to wonder recently was if Tina had been the woman her father had been longing for.

Natalie took another sip of the tea Jess had made. The chamomile was doing nothing for her nerves. "You know, I completely forgot I made plans to meet Rex and Adriana at Rodi's for dinner," she said. Then she hopped up from the table and darted out of the kitchen before anyone could say anything. She truly had no plans but she also doubted anyone would really care enough to check her story.

XXXXXX

Natalie fastened the final button on her coat as Joey Buchanan reached the bottom of the stairs in the Buchanan mansion. "Is Sarah ok?" she asked as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.

"I think she's just tired. She went through quite an ordeal last month really," Joey said.

"Well I'm glad she's ok," Natalie said and started to take a few steps to the front door.

"Nat?" Joey asked.

Natalie turned back to face him. "Yes?"

"Were you going to be gone long?"

"Probably. I was meeting Adriana and Rex for dinner and then we'll probably go to the Ultra Violet after," Natalie repeated her earlier lie with some further embellishment. She wasn't sure why she needed to avoid Joey. Normally, she felt more accepted by him than really anyone else in the family. But there were a lot of things she just couldn't talk about with anyone, including Joey, so it was best if she just stayed away.

"Oh, well, maybe Sarah and I will join you at UV later if she feels better when she wakes up."

"That's probably a bad idea. I mean we wouldn't want poor Sarah to get too overtired," Natalie said. Her words came out with more bitterness and cattiness than she intended.

"You know, I think if you and Sarah could just kind of let go you might actually get along," Joey said.

"Yeah, well, I'm late to meet Rex so, bye," Natalie said. She opened the front door and stalked out. The tears had already started spilling down her cheeks before she even made it to her car. She got into the car, dropped her head down onto the steering wheel and sobbed.

XXXXX

Back in the Buchanan kitchen, Jared cleared his throat. "She may be a drama queen, but maybe that is where the eating disorder comes from. I mean negative attention is still attention, right?" he asked.

"It isn't even really negative attention. I mean she completely has Cord wrapped around her little finger," Jessica said.

Outside the closed kitchen door, Joey cringed at his sister's comment. He wanted to believe she was just genuinely concerned and he could understand why she might have been. If he was honest, he had wondered if Sarah had traded in her addiction for something else at different times. He had even confronted her after hearing her throwing up from what had turned out to be the flu. He believed her that he was wrong and Jessica was going to have to believe him that she was wrong, he decided as he pushed the kitchen door open.

"Well that is another consideration," Jared said as Joey stepped into the room.

Unnoticed by the rest of his family, Joey stood quietly against the counter and wondered where Jared was going. He hadn't liked the guy when he had been Natalie's boyfriend and the whole timing of him coming forward as the Buchanan heir had seemed far too convenient. Joey didn't believe he hadn't known he was Asa's son before and he suspected that was why he had insinuated himself into Natalie's life. Setting up a romantic relationship with your niece to spy on your family was pretty messed up as far as Joey could tell. He wouldn't put it beneath Jared though, and he still didn't believe that the earlier situation in the living room was as simple as a misunderstanding.

"What do you mean?" Kelly asked.

"Well eating disorders can be deadly. If Cord can't step in and do the right thing then maybe we need to as her family," Jared said.

"What do you mean?" Kelly asked.

"If people are a danger to themselves, or others, then sometimes they need to go places where they are safe," Jared said.

"Well Sarah isn't really dangerous," Jessica said.

"Annoying, but not dangerous. I agree," Kelly said.

"I suppose Sarah could say the same thing about you, Kelly," Joey said as he stepped forward and took a few steps across the room to join them at the table.

Kelly flashed Joey a wounded look. "I didn't mean anything bad by that," she said.

Joey pulled out a chair and sat down directly across from Jared. There was a time when the look Kelly had flashed would have completely caused him to back off, perhaps even apologize. He had loved her once, they had even been married, but then she had admitted that it had really been Kevin who she had been in love with all along. Or maybe it had been; she had had an affair with her stepson, and she and Kevin were raising the baby that had resulted from that night of passion.

"I'm not sure how annoying can be considered a complimentary term, Kel," Joey said.

Jared laughed, he tried to hide it but failed. "You're distracting us from the true matter at hand, Joe. The fact that Sarah is a danger to herself."

"What do you base that on?" Joey asked.

"Do I need to quote statistics to you? Eating disorders can kill. Starvation is really just a slow form of suicide," Jared said.

"Then we need to start with debunking the myth that Sarah has an eating disorder. Next, we can move onto the fact that any problems Sarah does have are certainly not ones that she needs your help with, Jared," Joey said.

"I'm just a concerned uncle," Jared protested.

Joey could believe that Jared was concerned. Although he doubted that Sarah's welfare was really important to him.

"He's just trying to help, Joey. It's time we laid things out on the table. I think Jared is right, Cord can't really see this for what this is. He's too invested otherwise," Jessica said.

"So, what am I missing?" Cord Roberts asked as he came into the kitchen.

"We were just talking about BE and how you have a lot of outside pressure with your role in Acme and Norscott. This is why Jessica thought it would be best if I spearheaded the development and acquisitions task force for the board. Someone must keep their finger closely on the pulse of BE," Jared said. He flashed a quick wink to Jessica after his little speech and what Joey supposed was intended as a smile but came off as a sneer.

 _Well so much for laying everything out on the table,_ Joey thought.

Jessica flashed one of trademark sweet smiles. "It isn't that we don't all appreciate what you have done in the past, Cord. Of course, now Jared is here and perhaps more able to devote the time needed."

"Exactly! We all want to see BE succeed, just like Pa would have wanted," Jared said.

"You know, Jared, coming back to the BE board was not something I asked for. Having said that, I don't do things half way and I do take a certain amount of pride in professionalism," Cord said.

"Of course, but with you basically running two other companies, are you really able to have day to day involvement with BE?" Jared asked.

"Jared really was underutilized as Natalie's assistant. Since coming onto the board only last month, he's really gotten a great handle on everything," Jessica said.

"Well not everything, Jessica. The international side of BE is a bit out of my realm. I just don't really have the background there, but Kevin has been keeping me up to speed on that, and I think we've got a plan right, Kevin?"

"Right, but we really need to secure more drilling sites on US soil, which is why I think dad's proposal is a real move in the right direction. I wonder how negotiations on that front are going," Kevin said.

"I would say they aren't," Cord said.

"You know there is a word for people like you, Cord, it's called pessimistic. Do you think if Pa was a pessimist he would have turned a single oil well into an international empire?"

"I was merely referring to the fact that at least twenty minutes ago Clint's plane was still on the tarmac at the airport. Not that he will be successful even if he ever manages to make it to Port Charles. Drilling on the ELQ property in question is a dead issue; it isn't happening and nothing anyone says is going to sway Edward's mind," Cord said.

Jared smirked. "You seem to devalue Clint's negotiation skills."

"Honestly, I suppose I more value the logical decision making of ELQ Enterprises. Basically, Clint is wasting their time, and his own."

"But you don't realize what Clint may have on his side in negotiation, a little information that I provided him with. One must never be unaware of the other side's vulnerabilities," Jared said.

Joey saw that Cord tensed slightly at that which made him believe perhaps there could be something behind the bravado on Jared's part. Even if it ended up being good for BE, Joey could only see it as unfeeling. Sarah had explained that Ned's little girl was very ill, and although he really hadn't spoken to Ned much in the past few years, he did remember how kind Ned had been to him the summer he had interned at ELQ. That had been the summer that Brooke Lynn had been born.

"Well, I guess you have to do what you have to do, Jared. But remember there are always consequences to every action. By the way, I met with Jake Seeley this afternoon," Cord said.

Joey saw the look of confusion that passed over Jared's face. He had no idea what Cord had referred to and it showed.

Cord smiled at Jared's silent admission. "I'm sure you know this, since you have your finger securely on the BE pulse, but Jake Seeley is the CEO of Farbanks Petroleum. Before his impromptu flight to Port Charles, Clint had arranged to meet with both him and Palmer Cortlandt this afternoon. Lureen had rescheduled the Cortlandt meeting before I realized, which makes us look incompetent. Mr. Seeley had flown all the way in from Texas, so I took care of that meeting."

Jared's left eye started to twitch. "Well, that must have been just a simple misunderstanding."

"I realize you're new to this family but Clint's simple misunderstandings tend to leave a lot of damage in their wake. You might want to jump off the wave, just a little friendly advice," Cord said. Then with another smile, he turned and exited the kitchen.

In an effort to hide the humiliation, Joey was sure, Jared started talking about some movie he had just seen. Jessica and Kelly joined into the conversation, while Kevin got himself another beer. Joey looked across the table at his family and reflected on what he had just witnessed. Although he hated BE, he wasn't oblivious to where the power lines lay. Jared was clearly asserting his claim for control, Kevin was getting drunk, and Cord was cutting through the crap as always. Traditional roles in families could be hard to step out of.

Jared's attempt to establish himself at the top of the Buchanan heap wasn't really a surprise. However, Joey found something much more interesting in the interaction. Jessica seemed to be helping Jared's quest for control. Perhaps that was just her nature of always wanting to help the underdog. Still, Joey wondered if that was what it really was. He was afraid there might be something much deeper and darker in his baby sister's motivations.

With another sigh, Joey got up from the table. "I'm going to go upstairs. I've got a sermon to work on," he announced. However, Jessica and Kelly were too entranced in their conversation with Jared to really acknowledge his departure.

 _**Key Canon Deviation:_

 _The only people who knew that Tommy McBain should really be Tommy Manning were Spencer Truman and Lindsay Rappaport. Lindsay did kill Spencer to keep the secret and then faked her breakdown in court at her arraignment in September 2007. When Marcy visited her at St. Anne's after the hearing she told Marcy why she had really murdered Spencer. Marcy wanted to keep the secret but was afraid of Todd finding out the truth and after much soul searching blurted the information out to their caseworker. DNA testing confirmed that Todd was indeed the likely father but the judge opted to leave Tommy in the McBains custody until the hearing which is scheduled for early January._


	10. Chapter 9: Those Little Things We Hide

_*OK-I admit I may really be missing the point here because I'm only going off the plot of the whole Jess/Tess/DID storyline I never watched it but a lot of it didn't ring true and since the diagnosis itself is both hard to make, controversial, and I really do believe in some cases (although probably not all) iatrogenic and or psychosomatic or both I could see that this might be who Jessica Buchanan really is. Constructive criticism on this issue and anything else is always appreciated*_

 **Chapter 9: Those Little Things We Hide**

Jessica Buchanan-Brennan watched the gentle even rise and fall of Bree's little chest. Sometimes she wondered if she had gone too far but no one realized how hard it was to be Jessica Buchanan. The pressure to be sweet selfless little Jessie, the perfect one, the good child, well, sometimes it got to be too much and she just needed a little bit of a release. She had just done what she needed to do and she wasn't going to apologize for it. Anyway, it was really all Natalie's fault; most things usually were, Jessica thought with a smile.

Jessica felt strong arms wrap around her from behind and laid her back against what she knew was Nash's shoulder. In his embrace, she tried to remember how much she loved him. She did love him. Still, honestly, raising Bree with him while married to him wasn't half as exciting as all the sexual tension and release, they had shared while she had been married to Antonio and they had been co-parenting Bree. Yes, the release had been the best part, Jessica decided with a more sparkling smile. To be honest, if her mother hadn't accidentally walked in on them having sex on the davenport, as she called it, while Antonio had been on some stakeout or something; Jessica probably would have continued the arrangement because honestly it suited her fine.

The truth was, that Antonio was beyond boring, and, well, awful in bed was an understatement. However, he was respectable, a decorated cop, strong, hardworking, and loyal. It had been kind of nice to hear him going on and on about how wonderful she was, how much he loved her, and how happy their perfect little family was. His mom raved about how kind Jessica had been to take in little Jamie as her own what a wonderful mom she was. It had all fit her image, and Jessica had known since she was little that being a Buchanan was all about image. Oh, but it had been stifling.

Nash was not exactly respectable. He had been a grifter, he had a record-one that couldn't be esponged, and Jessica knew his desire for instant gratification sometimes overwhelmed his long term plans. Yes, Nash was very different from Antonio; sex was great and his spontaneity kept her excited, intrigued, and wanting more. Plus, if presented the right way, Nash had been perfect for her image. Since they were Bree's parents, it was good for them to spend time together with Bree. No one knew that often when they were together, Bree was napping, and they were engaged in other more pleasurable activities. Everyone talked about how mature it was for her to allow Nash to be such a big part of her daughter's life.

Then the day came when she left her cell in the car, ignored the phone, and dear, sweet, Antonio had been concerned. She supposed he had a right to be, since she had feigned a headache to avoid early morning lovemaking. Dependable as always, Antonio had gotten Jamie off to school, fed Bree, and even brought Jessica aspirin, herbal tea, and toast in bed. When he called a few hours later to check on her, and got no answer on their home line or her cell, he had called her mother. Jessica supposed it could have been worse, he could have called his mother to check on her.

 _April 4, 2007_

 _Jessica panted raggedly reaching a climax as Nash moved rhythmically against her. She brought her lips to his exhaling into him not wanting to scream for fear of waking Bree. Waking Bree meant going back to being her respectable co-parents not lovers. She felt Nash pull her even closer as both of them were too lost in each other to hear a key turning in the lock or the front door of the house she and Antonio had moved into after the wedding open._

 _But then a scream broke into their moment of bliss and release. Startled Jessica sat up and peered around Nash to see her mother standing before them clutching her chest._

 _"_ _Jessie! Oh my Lord! Jessie!" Viki Lord Riley Buchanan Harrison Buchanan Carpenter Davidson screamed._

 _Nash reacted quickly reaching for the afghan draped over the back of the couch, standing and wrapping it around his waist. Hurriedly he collected his clothes from the around the perimeter of the room and ducked into the downstairs bathroom to dress._

 _Jessica shivered at the absence of Nash's warmth and the icy glare coming from her mother's eyes. "Mom what are you doing here?" she finally asked as she pulled on her undergarments that were draped over that hideous lamp Antonio had made in boy scouts years ago. Carlotta had found it in the attic and brought it over as a housewarming gift. At the time Jessica had gushed about how it was the best gift ever and displayed it proudly on an end table hoping Jamie might accidentally break it soon._

 _"_ _Your husband was concerned that you weren't feeling well and not answering your phone. He was afraid something might have happened. I guess you have made a miraculous recovery," Viki said._

 _Jessica swallowed hard as she pulled a shirt over her head and got up to try and find the jeans she had been wearing earlier. She racked her brain trying to figure out how to fix things. Did she claim that Tess was back? No that wouldn't work Tess wouldn't have called Viki mom and she didn't really want to go back to St. Anne's. Did she claim Nash had forced her? Maybe but then Antonio would probably make her get a restraining order and that would end their time together. Plus she supposed it wasn't really fair to claim Nash was a rapist._

 _Finding her jeans at the foot of the stairs, Jess pulled them on and blinked her eyes a few times to moisten them as she came back across the room. "Oh Mommy! I don't know what's happening I'm just so confused!" Jessica wailed dropping down to the couch, pulling her knees up to her chin and dropping her head into them. She heaved and sobbed violently for a few moments until she felt her mother sit down beside her on the couch and wrap an arm around her._

 _"_ _Oh honey, it's never as bad as it seems in the moment. I promise," Viki said as very real cries came over the baby monitor._

 _"_ _Oh Bree!" Jessica cried._

 _"_ _It's ok I'll get her," Jessica heard Nash call and heard his footsteps on the stairs._

 _"_ _Jessie talk to me. What has happened? This is just not like you, honey," Viki encouraged as she patted at her shoulder gently._

 _"_ _I don't know mom, it's just like I have no idea who I am anymore and I've been having these horrible headaches," Jessica moaned._

 _"_ _Antonio did mention your head was bothering you this morning," Viki said._

 _Jessica noted that her mother's voice had softened considerably. She heard her mother take an audible deep breath. Jessica had a feeling she knew where the conversation was going and she wasn't sure if she wanted that._

 _"_ _Have you been losing time?" Viki asked._

 _Jessica hesitated, saying yes could be a way out. All would be forgiven. But there were consequences of that which she didn't want. For some reason she remembered something Erin had told her about her brother Jonathan and how he had some brain tumor which caused him to do all kinds of horrible things. Jessica thought maybe he had even killed someone. Of course a brain tumor wasn't exactly something you could fake but she supposed that disabling headaches might cause people to behave out of character and might provide some distraction or at least some sympathy from her mom so she wouldn't be rushing immediately to tell Antonio what she had walked in on._

 _"_ _I don't think so," Jessica finally said. "But I don't feel like me anymore does that make sense? The headaches are really bad though I can't even think when they happen."_

 _"_ _You're having headaches?" Nash asked as he came into the room with Bree in his arms._

 _"_ _Yeah, I tried to make an appointment with Dr. Wolek but I guess he's overbooked until sometime next month," Jessica said. That was a lie, but Dr. Larry Wolek did have a very busy internal medicine practice so no one would question it._

 _"_ _I can take Bree for the afternoon, if you need to rest or something," Nash offered._

 _He looked so uncomfortable. Jessica almost felt badly for him. Of course it wasn't like he didn't know she was married. He had certainly been a more than willing participant._

 _"_ _That won't be necessary Nash. I can watch Bree if Jessie needs some time," Viki said. She stood and reached for her granddaughter._

 _Nash handed his daughter to her grandmother. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well maybe I should go then."_

 _"_ _I think that is a good idea. It was so nice of you to come over to see Bree," Viki said._

 _Jessica covered her face with her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do Mom!"_

 _"_ _Well first you're going to call Antonio because I do think he was very worried. I'm going to go find Bree some juice," Viki said carrying her granddaughter into the kitchen._

 _Jessica reached for the cordless phone she had ignored earlier. Obviously that had been a huge mistake she decided as she picked up the phone and dialed Antonio's cell number._

 _"_ _Hey baby! Are you alright? I was worried," Antonio said._

 _"_ _I'm still not feeling well but my mom is going to stay and watch Bree. I'm sorry I missed your call I think my cell is in the car and I missed a call earlier to answer the door. Nash stopped over this was one of his mornings with Bree."_

 _"_ _Right that was on the schedule. Did she have fun?"_

 _"_ _Yeah he brought her another piece for her Thomas Train. She will have to show it to you when you get home."_

 _"_ _I can't wait. Honey, if you're still not feeling well, why don't I see if Annie can take Jamie to brownies? I can have her pick her up at school. I can fax a note over," Antonio said._

 _"_ _Who is Annie?"_

 _"_ _Emma's Mom. She works at the Miranda Montgomery Center. She was at your friend Erin's memorial service."_

 _"_ _Oh right," Jessica said. She wasn't really sure that Erin Lavery had ever been her friend really. But when the Buchanans had made a sizeable donation to the Miranda Montgomery Center, a crisis and counseling center for abuse victims; to fund the final part of the new women's shelter they were building in nearby Pine Valley the family had been invited to the grand opening. Because of that Viki had decided to commission Jessica to write an article about it for the Banner. Jessica had started by trying to interview the center director, Bianca Montgomery. Bianca had been the most entitled, self-centered little witch she had ever met. She had feigned cramps and rescheduled about ten minutes into the interview._

 _Unwilling to go for round two with Bianca, Jess had scoured for the number of the new assistant director, Erin Lavery. Erin was still in the process of finishing up her MSW but she had been pretty cool. Erin had even offered to come to Llanview and they had grabbed a burger at Rodi's. They had even gone shopping a few times and hung out one night at Sounds of Salsa during the period when Antonio seemed to feel she needed a baby sitter. It was much kinder Jessica supposed to let Antonio think that Erin was her new best friend than point out that his little sister Adrianna was, well, annoying and immature. Because of all of that Jessica had felt obligated to invite Erin and her then boyfriend Aidan Devane to her wedding to Antonio._

 _"_ _I don't think it should be a problem. I will call Annie. Call me if you need anything. I love you, honey."_

 _"_ _Yes, me too, bye," Jessica said. She hung up the phone and sighed as her mother came back into the room with Bree._

 _"_ _Did you reach Antonio?" Vikki asked._

 _"_ _Yes, he's going to have one of Jamie's friends' moms get her to Brownies so I can rest."_

 _"_ _What is really going on, Jessie? This is just not like you. Did Nash force you?"_

 _"_ _I don't know, I love Antonio, Mom, really I do. But Nash and I have a child together. I just don't know what to do."_

 _"_ _Well, honey, I love you but you cannot just commit adultery with your daughter's father. You made vows to Antonio, honey!"_

 _Right vows, the same vows that hadn't kept her father from straying with Tina Lord, her mother's sister or after her father supposedly repented hadn't kept her mother away from Sloan Carpenter, Jessica thought. She didn't voice her thoughts though because her mother would never expect such bitter cynicism from her. Natalie might say such a thing, Natalie would probably say worse, but she wasn't Natalie. Tess would say something like that too but Jessica reaffirmed her decision to not go there._

 _"_ _I made a terrible mistake mom and I'm going to tell Nash we can't be together. I'm going to tell him that he should probably have his visitation with Bree alone now. But please mom don't tell anyone. Antonio does love me, and this will just break his heart."_

 _"_ _Do you think Nash will just let you go?" Viki asked._

 _"_ _I'm going to have to pray he loves me enough to do exactly that," Jessica said._

Her mother had never told Antonio about what she had walked in on and naively she had believed that things were over for her and Nash. They weren't really but she and Nash were a lot more careful and honestly that made things more exciting. But then Nash got sick of the arrangement, he wanted them to be together with Bree. He was annoyed that Jessica was planning to adopt Antonio's daughter Jamie and he issued her an ultimatum.

That had hurt but she had felt like she could only choose Antonio. Everyone would be appalled to learn that she had been having an affair. They shouldn't have been considering who her father was, either her biological or adoptive one she supposed and especially who her grandfather was. Everything had come to a head on the day of Jamie's adoption proceedings. Nash was preparing to leave town if she didn't stop him and suddenly just as the judge was about to finalize Jamie's adoption her heart had taken over and she had known she had to go to Nash. So she had.

The fallout of that had been hard to spin well. She really did feel badly for hurting Jamie, that had never been her plan. But by the time she got done telling the story of how she was really in love with Nash and it was just beyond her control she really thought everyone understood. Antonio had even donated a part of his liver to save her life. _Who would do that if they didn't understand and forgive her?_

"I still love to watch her sleep. She looks so peaceful," Nash whispered as his voice pulled her back from the thoughts of the past.

"Yes our beautiful little angel," Jessica murmured as her cell phone rang. Jessica glanced down at the screen and then frowned but she stepped into the hall and opened her phone anyway and listened to Jared's rant.

"You know Todd when I left the Banner to work for you the main reason I did it was because I wasn't supposed to be handling middle of the night emergencies. I just put Bree to bed you're so lucky you're family or I would never be meeting you. Ok I'll see you in twenty minutes," Jessica said closing the phone quickly before there was any chance Nash would discover she hadn't actually been talking to Todd.

"I'm sorry, Nash, it's a Sun Emergency."

"You know you have had a lot of those lately," Nash said.

Jessica gave her husband a quick hug and then started to open the coat closet. "Yes, between you and me, it just doesn't work when you have married couples working together. That's why I'm so glad we do completely different things," she said as she pulled out her coat.

"But I thought Todd and Blair's marriage was in name only to make him look like a more suitable parent for Tommy?"

"It was, but, well, Todd and Blair are just complicated. The custody hearing is a problem too, I mean Todd has had to take a lot of time off to prepare for that."

"Well, I know he's your uncle, but do you really think the judge is going to give him custody? I mean the McBains are professionals; she teaches school, he's a doctor in the Emergency Department. They probably don't have criminal records at all, and certainly not ones that require volumes to contain."

"Nash! Our official position is that we are supportive of Sam, that is what Todd is going to call him, being returned to his rightful father and justice being served. Todd is really the victim in all of this. If you don't believe that in your heart, fine, but you better make sure you never say anything else in public. Now, we'll have to talk about this later or I'll be late to meet Todd!"

As she walked across the snow covered path to her car Jessica pulled out her cell phone and called her uncle.

"Jess?" Todd asked.

Jessica got into her car and closed the door. "Yep it's me your favorite niece. Hey where are you?"

"The Sun, why?"

"Excellent if anyone asks later I came in to help you with an article," Jessica said.

"What are you really up to Jessie?"

Jessica laughed. "Don't worry Todd, this is me Jessica I'm not doing anything wrong. I never do. I'm just working on a little family thing, it's kind of a surprise and you know how Nash gets uptight about that kind of stuff."

"Well take care of yourself."

"Of course. Oh Ms. Rankin called me about testifying for you at the hearing. You know I'm completely there and I can't wait for Sam to come home."

"Thanks, Jess."

"No problem," Jessica said. She closed her phone and tossed it onto the passenger seat. She took a deep breath as she turned her car around in the driveway and started on her way to meet Jared. She really hoped Jared knew what he was doing.


	11. Chapter 10: A New Beginning

**Chapter 10: A New Understanding**

Jessica saw Jared's car as she pulled up to the Buchanan lodge on the top of Llatano Mountain. She parked and then shivered as she got out of the car and ran towards her grandfather's cabin. She opened the door greeted by the warmth of the main room and saw Jared sitting by a blazing fire in the fireplace.

"We have a problem," Jared said as soon as she sat down on the other end of the fireplace ledge.

"What?" Jessica asked.

"We aren't making reasonable progress towards me taking over and if you haven't noticed your dad is not exactly running the company well."

"It didn't sound like it was too bad. Cord managed to handle the meeting that couldn't be rescheduled. I mean things get rescheduled all the time," Jessica said.

"Cord getting more involved in BE is exactly what we don't want! Anyway, the whole problem is that no one in this family trusts me. I could have handled those meetings today if your father had bothered to tell me about them."

"I don't see why you're so upset. I think Kevin and Joey understand I have confidence in your abilities."

"Maybe, but your dad still doesn't tell me a darn thing. I'm his brother yet I'm still on the outside."

"Listen, I told you I'd go along with your plan and help you because I want you to fit into the family of course, Uncle Jared. I mean family is really so important. Dad and Uncle Bo will come around you will see."

"You can cut the angel act Jessica don't forget I've seen your other side. I know the truth about your DID."

"You can't prove I faked my DID," Jessica said in a hushed tone through gritted teeth. She hadn't completely faked it. So, her blackouts were just due to drinking too much but her mother would have never dealt with that well especially after all the lectures because of all the problems Kevin had. She had been having problems, and she had been molested and she had just needed time to deal with that in her own way. Creating Tess had helped her. She wasn't going to apologize for that.

"I seem to recall a certain conversation where you basically admitted as much," Jared said.

"I was drunk!"

"So that just means your inhibitions were lowered enough to finally tell the truth. But you're right I don't have a taped confession or anything but I did find the real Tess."

"What do you mean?" Jessica asked but her stomach lurched. She hadn't thought of or seen Tess in years, although perhaps she had been subconsciously when she named her new persona Tess.

Jessica had thought it was just the random first thing to pop in her head but after watching the tapes she had wondered if that was really true. It was only then that she had remembered the little girl who had looked so much like her that she could have practically been her twin. Tess had protected her, helped her to hide, once she had even given Jessica the barrette from her hair when she had lost hers and was so upset about it. In retrospect it had seemed a silly thing to be upset about or maybe that had been because that had been all she had been able to handle.

Jessica knew Jared's revelation should scare her. She should be twirling spin stories in her head but instead all she could do was wonder what had happened to the little girl who had really been her guardian angel. "You aren't going to hurt her, Jared!"

"Of course not. I'm not the enemy Jess, I only looked up Tess because I was concerned about you. We all make mistakes right and I'm not going to tell your family anything they don't need to know. I do appreciate you helping me, I really do. Unfortunately, I think your brothers think you just trust me because you trust everyone."

"I think the family will come around Jared. You just have to be patient."

"How can I be patient when Cord is chomping at the bit to get in and takeover BE? Time is one thing we just don't have, Jessica. Your family thinks you trust everyone. I know you trust almost no one. Maybe if you actually did trust me it could turn things around for both of us," Jared said.

Jess hesitated. She still remembered the day she had met Jared. It was July 2005 and she had been escaping as Tess at a club in Manhattan. She had been pretty drunk and didn't remember many details of the conversation they had but she did remember sort of trying to explain. She had no idea why she had done that. Even with Nash she hadn't told him the truth until after Antonio had finally found them and then she really hadn't told Nash the truth as much as she had returned to being Jessica.

"Come on, Jessica admit that that you actually trust me. I could have said something way back when Natalie introduced us. I didn't but I could have and as long as you're holding things together, I won't tell the family," Jared said.

He had a point. Jessica still shuddered even thinking about the day she "met" Jared Banks.

 _April 12, 2007_

 _Jessica Buchanan-Vega pushed her long blonde hair back from her face as she walked across the parking lot to Rodi's where she was supposed to be meeting Natalie for lunch. She almost had come up with an excuse to cancel her lunch date with Natalie but her mom had been really wary every time she asked her to watch Bree thinking she might be sneaking off with Nash so she had figured it would give her an opportunity for her mom to check her story and regain her faith. She really didn't know how to handle her mother not trusting her, sure she had lied, a lot in fact as a teen, but her mother had never doubted her it was a new feeling and she really didn't like it._

 _Anyway, maybe lunch with Natalie would distract her from her dilemma with Nash, Jess hoped as she pushed the door to Rodi's open. Nash had offered her an ultimatum to choose him or to let him go. He would be leaving town in exactly a week if she didn't stop him, ironically on the day she was supposed to finalize her stepdaughter Jamie's adoption._

 _Jessica was a little surprised to see Natalie sitting with a man who had his back to her so all she could see was his light brown hair. It was darker than Rex's and he looked like he would probably be a little taller than Rex as well. In spite of her own problems, Jessica smiled slightly wondering if Natalie had finally met someone._

 _Jessica's smile quickly faded when she sat down at the table and found herself face to face with Jared Banks. Somehow Jessica managed to contain herself through Natalie's introductions and her explanation that she had to leave for a meeting in Pine Valley right after lunch and it was just easier to bring Jared with her than stop back at BE to pick him up later. Jared smiled and at least from his face didn't reveal that he remembered her at all. Yet, Jessica was afraid he did. To cover her fear Jessica pretended to be very engrossed in the menu._

 _"_ _So, Natalie tells me you're an ace reporter for your mom's paper?" Jared asked after their meals had come._

 _"_ _I just do free lance stuff for her now. I'm an assistant editor at the Sun. In the end it was a little more flexible and we have two daughters," Jessica said. In theory what she had told Jared was true. Of course, working for Todd was also more convenient for having a handy excuse because Todd would lie for her, even to his sister._

 _"_ _How old are your daughters?"_

 _"_ _Jamie just turned seven and Bree will be one later this month."_

 _"_ _Yet, you look so young," Jared said._

 _Jessica tensed wondering if it was just a simple compliment or if Jared was probing for more information. Men always thought women had hang ups about their age, maybe it was just that. Jessica really hoped it was_

 _"_ _Well Jamie is actually Jessie's stepdaughter but her mom died when she was quite young and really I think Jessie is the only mom she knows," Natalie volunteered._

 _"_ _Well that's wonderful you know for you to step in like that. Good stepparents are the real heroes in my opinion," Jared said._

 _"_ _Jamie is a wonderful little girl. I'm going to adopt her actually," Jessica said._

 _"_ _Yes, I can see the love you have for her in your eyes. She's very lucky to have that. A lot of kids don't grow up with two parents who love them," Jared said._

 _Maybe he didn't remember who she was, Jessica decided. She couldn't remember if she had ever mentioned Jamie to him. She didn't think she had._

 _The conversation shifted after that but Jessica remained on edge. Even after returning to the Sun that afternoon she was unable to concentrate on her work and panicked at what Jared might do._

Jared hadn't done anything though. Apparently, he hadn't even shared her confession with Natalie. He had promised her he wouldn't and they had Jessica supposed become friends. He and Natalie were dating and he was a lot more fun than John McBain, which really wasn't saying much but Jessica was trying to be happy for her sister. Then they learned he was her uncle and everything changed.

Jessica understood why he had come to her for help. Natalie was still trying to figure out how to adjust her feelings. Plus, Jared was a smart guy, he probably understood that Natalie wasn't going to help him fit into a family that she didn't really fit into herself. Of course, she would never tell Natalie that.

"So, what do you say Jessica? Do you really trust me not just pretend to trust me because I keep your secrets?" Jared asked again which forced Jessica to accept the moment she was really in.

Jessica took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess, I do."

"Excellent. I think this calls for a toast then," Jared said as he retreated into the kitchen and came back with two pieces of chocolate chip cheesecake. "I remember after your transplant this was what you really wanted and your mom nearly had a stroke."

Jessica laughed. "Yeah, she's all about the lowfat high fiber but we all have to have our little indulgences and uncles are supposed to spoil their nieces so this is perfect."

"Of course, and you're my favorite niece. Just don't tell your sister or Sarah."

Jessica smiled. Of course she was his favorite niece. She was everyone's favorite niece and Natalie and Sarah hated it. "Kelly too, she's your niece by marriage since she is Kevin's wife again."

"She's not exactly what I was expecting," Jared said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Nattie introduced us to each other at the funeral but I didn't realize she had worked for BE in the past."

"Yeah she did some PR stuff. Now she's mostly raising Zane but she helps Kevin out a lot with entertaining clients and stuff."

"Which brings me to the next part of our plan," Jared said.

Jessica smiled as she took a bite of cheesecake. "Ok, what is the next part of our plan?" she asked.

"I think we should convince Kelly to come back to BE."

"I'm not sure about that, I was just telling Nash that married couples working together is a mistake."

"I see, but these are going to be desperate times for BE. Stock is dropping. I really think we need to diversify out into something else besides Oil."

"But Oil was basically what Grandpa knew. I think Cord was trying to go more into manufacturing but I think that was when he and Grandpa had that big fight."

"I was surprised to see Cord included on the board, honestly. Do you really consider him a brother?"

Jessica shrugged her shoulders and then took another bite of cheesecake. "Sometimes, I guess. Dad never raised him, of course he never raised Natalie really either. Honestly, I don't think either of them have forgiven us for that, not really."

"That explains a lot, for Cord at least. I don't think Natalie blames you."

"Well she shouldn't, but I don't know sometimes I think she still does. I think that's a lot of why she wants BE to be her thing."

"It's sweet of you to try to give her that," Jared said.

"So, you want Cord and Sarah off the board?" Jessica asked.

"Not exactly, I'm just concerned that Cord is overextending himself and I think Sarah's health needs to be the priority in her life right now."

"But what about the clause in Grandpa's will that says we basically all have to participate or no one benefits. I mean seriously that's the only reason I'm doing this, so I don't ruin it for everyone else."

"Well, yes, but to change the corporate bylaws we really only need a 2/3 vote," Jared said.

"So, you're saying that we can legally vote out Cord?"

"Maybe, although that isn't specifically my goal. I just want to put some safeguards in place that prevent him from making poor decisions that adversely affect BE. In Sarah's situation, she can always I guess vote by proxy or something."

"You're really serious about trying to help her, aren't you?" Jessica asked.

"Someone has to, Jess."

"You're right and maybe it has to be us. Maybe someday she will thank us."

"As long as she's alive to not thank us I'll settle for that. This can really be a very serious illness. It's not just a diet a little out of control. People do die from this."

"I never really thought about it that way," Jess said.

"Most people don't," Jared said. "It isn't the same exactly but you know how you said that you just couldn't really handle things as Jessica. I think that is kind of where Sarah is."

"So, the anorexia is kind of like an excuse for her."

"Well not exactly but just like Tess was a way for you to express things you couldn't otherwise I think this is for Sarah. It's different, you're a lot stronger than Sarah. You lived through horrible things so it makes sense that something had to give right?"

"I think you're the only person who would really understand that."

"Well in your case I'm the only one who knows. In Sarah's case I suppose maybe we're the only ones who care."

"That's sad, but you know Sarah is really lucky that you're her uncle. Well we all are."

"You're just saying that because I brought you cheesecake."

"I am not! Actually, you know Sarah used to really like this when we were younger. She loves chocolate chips."

"I'll keep that in mind. You should probably get home before your husband decides to call the Sun looking for you," Jared said.

"Oh, it's ok. Todd knows to cover for me."

"He knows where you are?"

"No, but he will just always cover for me. We help each other out that way, it's just an uncle niece thing. Kind of like with us I guess," Jessica said.


	12. Chapter 11: Out of the Darkness

**Chapter 11: Out of the Darkness**

December 27, 2007

Alone in the darkness of her bedroom, Sarah took a few more deep breaths waiting for her heart to stop beating out of her chest. Her nightmares were worse in her great grandfather's house, or at least they had been recently. She could not wait to go back to Port Charles for school. Or maybe she couldn't. Port Charles got her away from Uncle Jared, but it forced her to face telling Cooper the truth. She had planned to tell him when she went back to hand in her paper earlier. But nothing had exactly worked as she had planned.

 _December 21, 2007_

 _Sarah Roberts parked along the curb on Elm Street a few car lengths up from the Brownstone apartment building her best friend Cooper Barrett was living in. She didn't see Cooper's car and realized she probably should have told him she was coming but she figured she could just wait for him to come home, her other option had been watching Jessica show off what a perfect little family she, Nash, and Bree were._

 _As she started up the front steps of the Brownstone the door opened and Sarah was mildly surprised to see Logan Hayes and Maxie Jones walk out._

 _"_ _Sarah! I guess you must be feeling better. Coop didn't tell me you were back," Logan said as he wrapped his arms around her._

 _Sarah caught Maxie's surprise, or perhaps annoyance, at their hug. She could sort of understand surprise because Logan wasn't really the hugging type. At least not in general, but with those few he let into his heart he could be gentle and loving. Logan had held her while her brother had been dying and Sarah believed that they would always be connected by that._

 _"_ _Yeah, the whole being able to breathe thing is good. Thanks for the card and the chocolate chips. Cooper said you live here now, like for good?"_

 _"_ _He decided to follow his heart. Did Cooper not tell you our good news?" Maxie asked thrusting her fingers and a ring in Sarah's face._

 _Maxie and Logan dating was an interesting concept, them planning to marry was a bit mind boggling. "Actually, he didn't, but congratulations!"_

Maxie had launched into some dramatic story about they were so in love and had been dating secretly at that point. For Logan's sake Sarah wanted to believe that they really were in love. But she knew the dating secretly thing was a lie. Logan had told her about Maxie she just hadn't quite realized that Logan's Maxie was the girl in her calculus class. Well until she had convinced Cooper to help them both study for the second exam.

 _October 13, 2007_

 _Sarah shut her apartment door behind Maxie and then turned back to Cooper. "Ok tell me the truth! What is really going on between you and Maxie? You would never cheat so were you with her before Jolene or something?"_

 _Cooper threw up his hands and walked back into her living room. "Why does everyone think I like Maxie? Good grief it's like she said I work for her dad and I'm uncool because I believe in following the rules."_

 _"_ _So, who else thinks you like Maxie? Brenda?" Sarah asked._

 _"_ _No, Brenda has common sense."_

 _"_ _Your mother didn't exactly think that but, umm, ok."_

 _"_ _My mother missed the point where Aunt Brenda was concerned sometimes, actually often even I guess," Cooper said._

 _"_ _Ok, so, then who?"_

 _"_ _Can we just agree that I'm not interested in Maxie and drop it?"_

 _"_ _The more you deny it the more I think you are."_

 _"_ _Well I'm not. Anyway, even if I was, Logan likes her so it's irrelevant."_

 _"_ _Logan? Our friend Logan?"_

 _"_ _Yes, and I think the two of them together is a horrible idea but Logan is determined it isn't."_

 _"_ _So, she's the girl that Logan is moping over? But she's dating some loser guy who doesn't appreciate her. Logan told me, I guess he's a cop."_

 _"_ _He was a cop, he's been suspended from the force for a few years now," Cooper said._

 _"_ _So, you know her mysterious boyfriend?"_

 _"_ _I've met him a few times."_

 _"_ _Logan says he's married and has a kid. Wow it's kind of like Jess with Antonio."_

 _"_ _Well, not really but we're not discussing this anymore."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _Because it's really none of our business."_

 _"_ _But Logan is our friend!"_

 _"_ _Right so if Logan wants to tell you about this then I guess that's his decision. Or if Maxie wants to tell you about her side of things, I guess that's her business but I'm not talking about it any more."_

Remembering the moment Sarah had to smile, even though much more fallout had ensued, because it was just so Cooper to not want to say anything bad about someone. Plus, he probably hadn't wanted to explain to Sarah that Lucky Spencer was Maxie's mystery boyfriend. Sarah had figured that out all on her own a few weeks later.

 _October 26, 2007_

 _Sarah Roberts walked into the River Rat and made her way through the dark and smoky room to the bar and sat down._

 _"_ _So, what do you want?" the brown-haired bartender asked._

 _"_ _A lot of things but you can get me a diet coke with lime."_

 _"_ _Wow! I guess your NA sponsor would be proud of that drink choice even if not exactly where you're hanging out," he sneered._

 _"_ _Well you're right my original NA sponsor would probably die from the embarrassment of being here but she did buy me a rootbeer on my twenty first birthday," Sarah said._

 _Lucky slid a soda across the bar at her. "Your sponsor sounds a bit less than conventional."_

 _"_ _Oh, she was, but in good ways. So, I'm surprised to see you, I thought you went to rehab or something."_

 _Lucky kind of hung his head and shrugged. "Yeah well that didn't work out," he said._

 _"_ _I'm sorry," Sarah said. She really meant it._

 _"_ _Programs just don't really work for me, you know? I have to do it my own way."_

 _Sarah took a sip of her soda and then met Lucky's eyes. "I think that's ok, well, as long as you're really doing something not just giving up," she said._

 _"_ _So, did you just come here to bug me? Since you're obviously not drinking," Lucky asked._

 _'_

 _"_ _No, I really just needed to get out of my apartment. Especially after my cousin Natalie and her boyfriend showed up to visit for the weekend."_

 _"_ _Sounds like you and Natalie are about as close as Sly and I are?" Lucky asked._

 _"_ _Sly cares about you. Natalie is just trying to convince her mother she isn't heartless," Sarah said._

 _"_ _But you think she is?"_

 _"_ _I don't know. Maybe heartless is the wrong word. I guess I mostly just find her overbearing and insensitive. Although sometimes I find her easier to deal with than Jessica so who knows."_

 _"_ _So, did you intentionally pick a bar that your cousin would hate?"_

 _"_ _Actually, from what I understand, this is completely her kind of place if she's honest. She isn't a lot of the time but anyway. Fortunately, she and Jared are driving to visit some friend of his in the city tomorrow. Yes, I know that there are more direct routes from Philly to Manhattan without going through Port Charles but apparently Natalie missed that memo. Perhaps they will take the more direct route home."_

 _"_ _I see."_

 _"_ _You should. For the record, on the cousin thing, I think Sly would help you if you let him."_

 _"_ _Just like Natalie would help you?"_

 _"_ _Umm, no, because I wouldn't ask her but you should. Anyway, my life is actually pretty good, well aside from the fact that I have to go to this wedding alone tomorrow because Cris is being lame."_

 _"_ _Cris is lame, you're right."_

 _"_ _Hey! I can say my boyfriend is lame you really can't!"_

 _"_ _Sure, I can! He was lame when he was hanging around with Beaudry I'm allowed to form my own opinions I'm a Spencer!"_

 _"_ _You knew Jesse? From your cop days you mean?" Sarah was curious. She hadn't known Jesse that well from her Angel Square days. She actually knew more about him from Cris and his older brother Antonio's stories._

 _"_ _Yes, we even worked a few cases together before he came out of undercover. I guess it should probably make me feel bad about screwing his woman but I wasn't the one who got him killed."_

 _Sarah winced at Lucky's explanation. It wasn't the crudeness that got her; she was Asa Buchanan's great granddaughter after all. It wasn't even really Lucky's perspective on Jesse's death. She knew Antonio and Cris also pretty strongly and completely believed that Jesse's death was the result of PCPD ineptitude. It also wasn't something that they had let go and perhaps it never would be. So perhaps for that reason it was just as well that Cris hadn't been able to rearrange his schedule to attend Cruz and Brenda's wedding and comment on how Jesse would never have the opportunity to marry with the implication that Cruz was responsible for that. In fact, maybe that was the reason Cris hadn't chosen to rearrange his schedule._

 _The real thing Sarah was wincing at was that Lucky had basically just revealed himself as Maxie's mysterious boyfriend. Sarah wasn't sure exactly why that disturbed her so much. Maybe it was because she knew Logan liked Maxie and she wanted something to go his way for once. Or maybe it was because she considered Lucky a friend and although she wasn't sure that she and Logan had been doomed just because they had once shared common vices, she could believe that Lucky and Maxie were doomed because they still shared a common vice._

 _"_ _You're dating Maxie Jones?" Sarah asked._

 _It appeared to be Lucky's turn to wince and he didn't answer her._

 _"_ _Ok, obviously that was the wrong conclusion. I just knew Maxie and Jesse were engaged when he died. I guess you were referring to someone else," Sarah said. But then she had another thought, maybe it wasn't that Maxie was the wrong answer but that Lucky didn't consider what he and Maxie were doing dating. Having recurrent sex with someone while high wasn't necessarily a relationship. It also wasn't necessarily legal but Sarah decided not to think about that._

 _"_ _I wasn't referring to someone else," Lucky finally said._

 _"_ _You just don't consider it a real relationship?" Sarah asked._

 _"_ _Something like that, I guess. What did you and Riley have?"_

 _"_ _Who knows? A mess basically, I thought I needed it at the time though and I guess it brought me out of a bad situation, possibly put me in a worse one, things are better now though so I guess whatever," Sarah said. In spite of what everyone probably thought, she and Riley had never had a sexual relationship. So, there had never been recurrent sex while high._

 _"_ _You know, Lucky, things could be better for you. As painful as it is, sometimes I think you do just have to rip the bandaid off."_

 _"_ _Have you ever actually done that?"_

 _"_ _Kind of, not intentionally really but I guess it had the same effect. One of my friends says that maybe withdrawal is meant to be painful to remind you why you never want to go back."_

 _"_ _More wise words from your unconventional sponsor?"_

 _"_ _Umm no, from a rather unconventional friend who didn't want to go to rehab so he just did his own at home detox. But he's still clean over three years later so it can work."_

 _"_ _If you say so."_

 _"_ _Yeah but if you're going to go that route, I wouldn't do it alone."_

 _"_ _Why are you volunteering to help me?"_

 _"_ _Sure, but I'm kind of a wimp and other people vomiting makes me physically ill. Now, Sly on the other hand."_

 _"_ _Why are you so determined to thrust my cousin back in my life?"_

 _"_ _I'm not, I just think he cares."_

 _"_ _You're wrong about that," Lucky said._

She hadn't been wrong though. Or at least not about Sly. She had been wrong about Lucky because she hadn't grasped that he was planning to take his own life. She couldn't really explain that to anyone. Actually, maybe that was more why the whole experience with Logan and Maxie had been painful, not because of Logan being engaged to Maxie but because of everything with Lucky. Maybe Logan had started trying to explain about Cooper because it was avoiding that topic or maybe he did it because he remembered how much she had freaked when CJ had tried to hide things from her.

Sarah shivered at that thought and pulled the blankets up to her chin as if that would somehow make everything alright. It didn't exactly. Her stomach growled and she glanced over at the illuminated digital clock by her bed. It was almost three AM, it was probably still too early to expect Nigel to make her pancakes she decided. She laid down and shut her eyes again only to see an image of Jared's less than friendly face. Sighing she sat up in bed, pushed the covers back, slipped her feet into Snoopy slippers, grabbed her cell phone, and started downstairs. It might be too early for pancakes but even she could make peanut butter and jelly and she bet Nigel had chocolate chips hidden somewhere.

As she walked through the living room she could see a faint glow of light coming from the kitchen. Sarah debated whether she was really hungry enough to face whoever else was in the kitchen. Sarah took another deep breath, it was really pretty pathetic that she was afraid of her own family, she decided as she opened her cell phone and dialed a very familiar number.

XXXXXX

In Port Charles, Cooper Barrett fumbled groggily for his cell phone as he made a mental note to change his ring tone to something less annoying when he was more awake. "Barrett," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I'm waking you aren't I?" Sarah's voice came back at him. It sounded like she had been crying or was about to.

"It's ok, Sarah. What's up?" he asked and then yawned as he sat up in bed and reached for the lamp on the nearby table.

"I'm just being stupid I guess."

"You aren't. I tried to call you earlier but I guess you were asleep."

"Ok lame and seriously pathetic I slept from like two to five then, after this Jared moment which I can't really think about right now, slept from maybe five thirty to now," Sarah said.

"So, you're very well rested?"

"Kind of, it wasn't the most productive sleep," Sarah said.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to hear something good?"

"Sure"

"Brooke is awake. She's still really weak and sick I guess but she's awake," Cooper said.

"That's great! Lois must be thrilled," Sarah said.

Cooper wasn't really sure what Lois' deal was. She had visited her daughter for maybe five minutes before she suddenly had some appointment she had forgotten all about. It would have been a better excuse if it hadn't been after five when she came up with it. "I'm sure she's glad Brooke is better," Cooper finally said. He wanted to believe he was right; Brooke deserved that.

"Brooke and Bree are good friends right?"

"Yes, and she's Brenda's goddaughter," Cooper said. Both were true statements but if Sarah was really asking why he cared so much about Brooke neither of them were the complete answer. He wanted to explain that to her but not over the phone.

"So how is your plan to come visit for New Years coming?" Cooper asked.

"I don't know, my dad apparently spent all day at BE filling in for Grandpa at the meeting he blew off to sit on the tarmac at the airport," Sarah said.

"He what?" Cooper asked. He knew that Clint Buchanan could get a bit ox-like and in the process lose sight of the big picture. He had never known Asa Buchanan well enough to know if he was really like that too but he suspected he was and he suspected that was why things had been so tense between Cord and the rest of the family.

"Apparently flights were grounded because of the weather but Grandpa refused to deplane. He may have actually lifted off by now, like I said I've been asleep since five-thirty."

Cooper shook his head at her explanation. "What do you do sitting on a tarmac for hours?"

"I don't know. They have television and I'm sure they had some kind of a gaming system installed or something."

"Well, gee, that sounds productive," Cooper said.

"Yeah our family is weird," Sarah said.

"Well, if your grandpa ever manages to take off on his business trip so he can come back and your dad can stop running BE then you should both come to the Quartermaine's New Years Eve Party."

"Did you go to that last year?"

"No, but Brenda does every year. Last year I went to some party Jolene's mom was having."

"I thought you were going to that Club 101 thing?"

"We were going to but I'm going to keep Logan company at the Q's I guess. Maxie wants to go to that."

"I still can't quite believe they are getting married. Do you think she really loves him?"

"I hope so."

"Yeah, me too. I am really lame by the way."

"You always say that but it isn't true," Cooper said.

"No, I really am see, I'm starving but I'm afraid to face whoever is in the kitchen."

"Who is in the kitchen?"

"I don't even know that's how lame I am."

"Sarah," Cooper began.

"Yes, I know I'm being stupid," Sarah said.

"That wasn't what I was going to say. I understand you don't feel safe there. Do you want me say something to your dad?" Cooper asked. He wasn't sure offering was the right thing. He wasn't sure he was meant to mediate Sarah's relationship with her father although he knew that to an extent his mother had done that while she had been alive.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just go see who is actually in the kitchen and you can call me back in like a minute and then I can escape if I need to."

"I could do that. I agree that you should eat something."

"I will, maybe just not right now."

"So, do you want me to call you?"

"Yeah, so I guess I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok bye," Cooper said.

"Bye," Sarah said.

As he closed his phone Cooper wondered what was really going on. _Was Sarah just uncomfortable and scared because she had been through way too much trauma in twenty two years? Or was there something else going on?_ Jared's name seemed to come up way too often in conversation for Cooper to not believe he wasn't part of the problem.

XXXXXX

Back in Llanview, Sarah picked herself up off the couch and padded into the kitchen. When she opened the door, she saw Natalie shoving pizza into her mouth.

"Good Morning," Sarah said uneasily.

"What are you doing up?" Natalie asked as Sarah's cell phone rang.

"I think I'm ok, Coop," Sarah said without even saying hello.

"So, you just happened to run into someone friendly in the kitchen and they're making you pancakes?" Cooper asked.

Sarah smiled. "Umm not exactly but I'm ok. I'll call you later when you're actually awake," Sarah said.

"You can call me sooner if you need to. You know that right?"

"Yes, but really I'm ok. Hungry but ok and I'm going to find some cereal or something. Bye!"

"Bye Sarah," Cooper said.

Sarah closed her phone and turned back to Natalie. "Umm I kind of slept through dinner I guess so now I'm starving."

Natalie closed the empty pizza box and made her way to the trash. "Well Nigel hates it when you mess up his kitchen."

Sarah opened a cabinet and pulled down a bowl for cheerios. "I think I can pour cereal without making a mess," she said.

"If you say so," Natalie said before she stalked out of the kitchen.

 _*On OLTL canon I believe that Tina seduced her sister's husband before she was married to Cord however, in an effort to maintain continuity through much SORAS I opted to have Cord and Tina have married in 1980 and have CJ and Sarah born in 1981 and 1985 respectively. The premise is that Clint and Tina's affair ended Viki and Clint's second marriage and Cord and Tina's marriage. Tina discovered she was pregnant (with Sarah) and was uncertain whether Cord, Clint, or Johnny Dee Hesser was the father of her baby. When Sarah's paternity was determined Cord and Tina remarried for the sake of the children. Clint attempted to reconcile with Viki but was still seeing Julia Barrett on the side. Clint and Viki remarried March 1, 1986 about twelve hours after Clint and Julia had one final act of goodbye sex.*_

 _*In another story I opted to pull the Asa Buchanan II/ Adam Chandler III storyline back in time to 2001/2002 and I'm going to honor that canon deviation here as well*_


	13. Chapter 12: Into the Light

**Chapter 12: Into the Light**

After Natalie left, Sarah poured cheerios and milk into a bowl, and orange juice into a glass. She put the cereal, milk, and juice away and even wiped a sponge across the counter for good measure. As she sat down to eat, she wondered who her cousin Natalie knew in Port Charles. Natalie had been incredibly evasive about that topic. She knew Kevin was friends with Jasper Jacks who apparently thought calling himself Jax made him sound cool not like he was trying too hard to sound cool. That was Sarah's perspective on the matter.

Finished with her early breakfast, Sarah deposited the dishes in the dishwasher and turned out the kitchen light. She used her cell phone as a flashlight and made her way back up the stairs and into her bedroom. She locked the door, a new necessity, since her Uncle Jared didn't seem to believe in knocking. She climbed back into bed, picked up her IPOD, reached for her marketing textbook and a highlighter and started to read.

Sarah yawned and then turned the page. Marketing was unexpectedly kind of interesting. If nothing else she had learned that Henry Ford had actually been a pretty cool guy even if her great grandfather hadn't held him out as a hero. Of course, it seemed like most of the concepts of her class didn't really apply to the oil industry.

Sarah knew she should probably be taking notes but she was too lazy to get up and grab a notebook and pen. That was another example of her lameness she supposed. Taking notes would probably keep her mind from wandering too she decided. She wondered if her Grandpa was still sitting on the tarmac at Philly International. She at least presumed from her conversation with Cooper that he hadn't reached Port Charles. She wasn't sure what her Grandpa's agenda was and that made her nervous. Maybe he really did just feel like annoying Edward Quartermaine but Sarah still thought he was going to see Brenda or Cooper.

The weird thing was it was just as likely that her Grandpa would go torment Brenda and never tell Cooper the truth. In fact, maybe it was even more likely. Sarah wasn't sure what to think about Brenda. She wasn't stupid, she knew there had been a lot of tension between Julia and Brenda. Their situation had probably been better than her Aunt Viki and her mother's, but probably anyone's was she supposed.

The hard thing about her mother and Aunt Viki was that it was really hard to not take Aunt Viki's side. After all, her mother had slept with Aunt Viki's husband. That had been wrong on so many levels, to begin with it was adultery because she and Clint were both married to others. But it was even worse because not only did her mother cheat on her father, but she cheated on him with his own father who also happened to be her sister's husband.

That had almost set up a set up a situation where the same man could have been her father and her grandfather. In fact, from what Sarah understood, there had been much confusion about who her father was as apparently her mother had also been with some criminal named Johnny Dee Hesser around that time as well. Johnny Dee had died before she was born, in fact her Aunt Viki had shot him to protect her mother after he went a little crazy when he learned that he wasn't actually going to be a daddy.

Sarah shuddered at all the history; she really wondered if any child in the Buchanan or Lord family had ever been born without drama. Kevin was probably her best guess and even he probably didn't count since he had been abducted from the hospital nursery by Cathy Craig. Apparently, he had been missing for months and was even adopted by another family. It was ironic since decades later Kevin found himself on the other side of the situation. When his wife Kelly delivered a stillborn child rather than face her loss head on she quickly found a replacement baby. Sarah wasn't exactly sure how someone could do that, people never replaced other people that was just wrong.

Maybe saying it was wrong was unfair. She had no idea what Kelly had gone through, or why she had done what she had done. At least the story that Kelly told was that her brother had told her the baby was abandoned and she had felt that perhaps that was a sign that they had been brought together for a reason. So, she had brought the baby home to her husband and passed it off as their own biological child. But the baby christened Asa "Ace" Buchanan II was eventually determined to really be Adam Chandler III, the grandson of Chandler Incorporated CEO Adam Chandler Sr. When Kelly learned that she had initially tried to cover it up but eventually she, and then Kevin, realized they needed to return the child to it's rightful parents just like the Rogers had returned Kevin to Viki and Joe in 1968.

The whole debacle had stretched over the course of roughly a year and ended almost a year before Sarah had even returned to Llanview in early 2003. Yet, it still seemed to be a hot topic of conversation, perhaps because with a Buchanan or Lord child it was statistically more likely than not that your parents were not who you were told they were. Beyond Kevin and Ace there was quite a list; her aunts or cousins Natalie and Jessica, her Uncle Todd, her Uncle Bo, her cousin Matthew, her cousin Jack, both of her parents, even her brother CJ had all been deceived in one form or another. Some of them, like her mother, and her Uncle Todd, had gone on to perpetuate that same kind of deception on other innocent children as well.

Growing up Sarah had found it interesting that her brother CJ's best friend had the same name as her late grandfather Albert Roberts. Or sort of the same name as Al claimed his real name was Alonzo but he thought it was dorky and Sarah agreed. It wasn't until CJ and Al and were trapped in a cave in on part of Llatano Mountain when she was six that Sarah learned that Al had been originally named Albert. Albert Roberts II, to be specific because her mother had attempted to pass Gabriella Medina and Max Holden's baby off as her son with Cord Roberts.

At six, Sarah had been furious at the revelation. Her mother had essentially abandoned her brother, stolen another woman's baby, and then attempted to keep Gabriella from coming forward by allowing her to be her own son's nanny. With additional insight, she could see that her mother just could never see past what was best for her or care how that might affect others. At the time that CJ had been born her parents had been separated but not legally divorced. Her father had been furious that she had married him to access his inheritance and sworn he was going to divorce her but Tina had disappeared before legal proceedings could ensue. In her mother's mind having Cord's child was her way to hang onto him. Her mother had been focused on that one thing and she had delivered a child to Cord, it wasn't their child but it still resulted in the desired end result. They hadn't divorced, or at least not immediately.

Her mother was definitely selfish. Her Uncle Todd's wife Blair had once claimed that if you looked up selfish in the dictionary you would see a picture of Tina. Her mother had retorted that you would see a picture of Blair. In Sarah's opinion both women were correct. That was why it had been positively absurd for Todd to remarry Blair, for Sarah thought the fifth time, in an effort to make it appear that they provided a better home than the McBains for Tommy. Having Todd as a father would be scary Sarah was sure, having Blair as a stepmother certainly couldn't improve the situation. Just because Jessica thought Todd was a perfect father didn't make it true.

Of course, Jessica would never even consider that possibility Sarah decided as she recalled their last discussion on the topic.

 _December 6, 2007_

 _Sarah looked up as her Uncle Joey came into her room._

 _"_ _You look so much better," Joey said._

 _"_ _Yeah breathing is a good thing. Breathing on your own is a better thing. Plus I can talk now to people other than my dad or Cooper," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Yeah, he's pretty fluent in sign."_

 _"_ _At least as fluent as I am. His mom was really good too, in fact, I think she and my dad used to sign rather than pass notes at board meetings."_

 _"_ _Probably why Ned Ashton took a sign language course," Joey said._

 _Sarah laughed. "Maybe, I didn't know he did that."_

 _"_ _It may not have been to spy on your dad's covert conversations. Actually, I think he did some mission work around the same time so it may have had something to do with that."_

 _"_ _Actually it probably did because Miguel Morez is an entertainer in residence or something like that at Cypress which is a total communications magnet school for the deaf in California and I think Ned has done some stuff with music with those kids so maybe he wanted to be able to talk to them. It's much easier to learn how to sign if you can hear I'm sure."_

 _"_ _Although interestingly hearing children raised in homes where parents sign often can sign and communicate that way before they can speak."_

 _"_ _I never really thought about that. I guess a lot of sign language interpreters are hearing children of deaf parents. Sometimes I think that would be cool to do but I'm a sloppy signer so I'd probably teach people my bad habits," Sarah said._

 _Joey laughed. "You're fine just the way you are."_

 _The door to her hospital room flew open and Jessica came storming in. "I can't believe you! You're even more selfish than your mother!" Jessica screamed._

 _Sarah looked at her cousin in shock wondering what she had done. It was kind of hard to get in trouble in the hospital, especially since she had only been transferred out of the ICU a day earlier but somehow, she had earned Jessica's wrath._

 _"_ _Jessie? What are you talking about?" Joey asked._

 _Sarah saw her cousin's face fall slightly. Jessica probably regretted not checking to see if she had an audience before launching into her tirade, but Sarah found it hard to feel sorry for her._

 _"_ _I heard from Ms. Rankin that you said you would be unable to testify as a character witness at Todd's hearing for Sam," Jessica said._

 _"_ _Jess, I understand that you want to help Todd but Sarah's been incredibly sick," Joey said._

 _"_ _Well that would be an excuse but, the hearing isn't until January when apparently Sarah will be too busy with school to attend," Jessica said._

 _Sarah took a deep breath; she didn't even want to think about all the schoolwork she had missed. Finals were rapidly approaching, not that she would be taking them of course so if she was really lucky, she would be able to finish up all her incompletes before the new semester started. But then there was the whole topic of internship hours and even if she lived at Ned's studio every waking hour she wasn't sure she would be caught up on that front. She actually probably really needed to talk to him or Lois about that, but she probably needed to deal with Jessica first._

 _"_ _Well, because I have missed basically the last three weeks of classes, I'm probably going to end up with incompletes in everything. I'm sorry but I'm a little stressed," Sarah said. Her words were true although they weren't really why she had tried to get out of attending Todd's custody hearing._

 _"_ _Sarah, I've missed time from school before. It's not the end of the world. So, should I tell Ms. Rankin to call you again?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _No, Jessica, it isn't that easy for me. Maybe it's because of my major, or maybe PCU is harder, or maybe I'm just not as smart as you but I'm overextended as it is," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Sarah, if it's really such a big deal I'll help you study."_

 _"_ _Thanks, but I don't think you've taken most of the classes I'm taking."_

 _"_ _You're majoring in entertainment. Antonio owned Capricorn while we were married, I think I can handle it," Jessica said._

 _Sarah shook her head. Some people would just never get it, and Jessica was quickly fitting into that category. Perhaps it was time to go with the direct approach. "May I be honest?" she asked._

 _Jessica smiled sweetly. "You should always be honest, Sarah."_

 _"_ _I wasn't lying about being overwhelmed with school. I am, and I owe so many internship hours and it's just a mess," Sarah said._

 _"_ _But aren't you doing your internship with Ned Ashton? If it's really a big deal I can have dad talk to him," Jessica said._

 _"_ _I don't want special treatment because Ned and my father are friends. I'll work out something with Ned and Lois to make up the time. But what I was trying to explain was that it was probably not a good idea for me to be a character witness for Todd anyway. I'm just not comfortable doing that," Sarah said. Knowing Jessica, she would think it was because she was afraid to speak in court or something and while that wasn't the reason Jessica could take it that way if she wanted. There was no way Jessica was ever going to see that perhaps giving Tommy to Todd wasn't the right thing to do._

 _"_ _Sarah, I think it would be good for you to get over your fear of public speaking," Jessica said._

 _"_ _I don't have a fear of public speaking. I mean I used to perform and stuff it's not that. Jess, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this, but I don't think taking Tommy away from the McBains is a good idea. He just turned two, he has bonded with them, and I think they're good people. I know that not having his son has to be hard for Todd but I really think that for Tommy not being uprooted is best," Sarah said._

 _"_ _You know that's what Natalie said. Todd is our uncle and Sam is his child. Like I told Natalie, you know if you got your way then we would have never known Kevin because he would have just stayed with the Rogers I guess you would have wanted that."_

 _"_ _It isn't the same thing," Sarah said. It wasn't, Kevin had been about five months old when he was returned and his parents, at least at the time, hadn't had criminal records. Although it would be too easy to argue that Kevin was hardly in a good place and perhaps he would have been in a better place if he hadn't grown up in the Buchanan family. Her father probably supported that philosophy. Her Aunt Natalie might disprove it though._

 _"_ _It is the same thing. The Rogers adopted a baby that shouldn't have been adopted. It's the same thing for Sam," Jessica said._

 _"_ _Kevin was less than six months old. Tommy is two and has been with the McBains for eighteen months he's bonded and attached," Sarah provided the diplomatic explanation. There was also the issue that Todd was a rapist. Sarah really hoped that was in the past but he had committed other crimes since his pardon and instead of facing up to them he had faked DID to escape punishment, then when the hoax was uncovered, he fled. Even recently Sarah knew he was violent, maybe not to his own children but she didn't think that beating up Cole Thornhart more than once had shown recent sanity._

 _"_ _He can rebond and attach with Todd and Blair. You agree with me right Joey?" Jessica asked._

 _Joey was silent for a minute before saying, "I think you both have valid points. I think it's going to be a tough decision for the judge. In some ways it's also similar to the situation with Ace I suppose, although I guess that Kelly and Kevin weren't quite the innocent victims of circumstance that the McBains and Rogers were."_

 _"_ _You also have to consider that Marcie didn't have to come forward. She could have just kept what Lindsay told her a secret," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Well I think it's really just that you are just as selfish as your mother, Sarah," Jessica said._

Jessica considered her refusal to testify as a character witness for their uncle selfish. Sarah considered it restraint and diplomacy. It was all about perspective Sarah supposed. She took a deep breath and tried to turn her attention towards pricing strategies when she heard a very soft knock on her door. Both a little startled and curious, Sarah put her book down and got up to unlock her bedroom door.


	14. Chapter 13: Sunrise Over Llantano

_*I would love feedback on this. I'm fine with constructive criticism, in fact, I actually cherish it because it makes me think and makes me a better writer. So, thoughts?...*_

 **Chapter 13: Sunrise Over Llantano Mountain**

Sarah opened her bedroom door a crack, smiled, and then opened it the rest of the way.

"I saw your light on," Joey whispered.

"Yeah, well, since I slept forever yesterday, I'm awake now," Sarah said.

"I kind of figured. Do you want to come with me?"

"Where are you going?" Sarah asked.

"For a ride up to Llantano Mountain to watch the sunrise. Sometimes it helps me clear my head."

"Well, that's always a good thing. I'll come with you, just give me a few minutes to get dressed."

"Dress warmly! It stopped snowing but it's still really cold."

"Yes, Uncle Joey," Sarah quipped and then closed the door to her bedroom.

"Very funny," Joey said to the closed door.

"Well you are my uncle and your name is Joey. I'm not seeing what the problem is."

"Just get dressed," Joey called back.

Sarah smiled genuinely as she pulled a pair of jeans out of one of her drawers.

XXXXXX

Later dressed, horses saddled and tacked, daylight was just starting to break as Sarah followed Joey up the bike trail that eventually ended at the top of Llatano Mountain.

"We probably should have invited your dad to come with us," Joey said as they trotted along.

"He had some conference call this morning and it's already nearly noon in London," Sarah said.

"Sometimes I wonder how he does it."

"He's just really efficient. He and Julia both were," Sarah said a little sadly.

"I'm sorry, Sarah," Joey said.

"Well I guess death is part of life, right? Or something like that. I don't know, she was probably more of a mother to me than Tina ever was. Although I guess my dad came a lot closer to being there for Cooper than his own dad ever did."

"I've never met Cooper's father, but you know sometimes people just can't parent the way they need to and that is their issue. I don't think you being different would have changed how Tina related to you. It's probably the same thing for Cooper's father."

"I guess," Sarah said uncertainly. She almost agreed, almost because it was just hard to make any sense out of things with her mom. Of course, then there was the other issue that Joey had met Cooper's father many times. She suspected if he was honest, he would still agree with the issues thing though.

"Do you think your dad is still sitting on the tarmac at the airport?"

"Apparently his flight was finally cleared for take off around five thirty this morning. He should be probably landing in Port Charles soon. I hope he made reservations somewhere because things are probably pretty full due to the holiday," Joey said as they started to ascend the mountain.

"The Quartermaines have a guest house."

"Yes, but I doubt that if dad drops in to try to coerce Edward into letting him drill for oil on ELQ land Edward is going to pour him some coffee and invite him to stay in the guest house since there is no room in the Inn. Now he might show him to the door."

"You know Edward has a little bit of a sense of humor. He just needs someone to kind of play off of as his straight man though. You know like Asa had Nigel. Basically, he needs some servants."

Joey laughed. "Yeah, I think he was clamoring for them back in 1994 when I was there as a summer intern so I guess Monica dug her heels in and held on."

"Something like that, I guess. So, was that when Cooper's aunt was their nanny?"

"I think right before she started. She was around though she and Lois were close and I think it's Robin who was AJ's friend she's one of Brenda's best friends."

"Keesha maybe? She was in Brenda's wedding."

"No, Keesha is AJ's wife. Although at that time she was dating Jason Morgan. I really think her name is Robin," Joey said.

"Maybe," Sarah said as they trudged onward. If her Grandpa was going to be arriving in Port Charles within the next hour if she wanted to say anything to Cooper first she would have to call soon. It was almost seven and he would probably wait until eight but maybe not much time after that.

The problem was that Sarah wasn't sure if she wanted to say anything. She swallowed hard as she remembered how much of a disaster visiting Cooper in the hospital had been.

 _December 21, 2007_

 _"_ _Sarah, what are you doing here?" Cooper Barrett asked as he wheeled over to where Sarah was sitting with Ned Ashton, Brooke Lynn's father._

 _"_ _I came back to hand in my English final paper so I wouldn't have to get incompletes in every class this semester," Sarah explained._

 _"_ _You drove five hours to hand in a paper? Have you ever heard of email?" Cooper asked._

 _"_ _Apparently Professor Dugan doesn't accept papers by email. Anyway, Natalie decided it would be this great bonding experience for the five of us," Sarah said. She supposed that the sarcasm in her voice probably revealed her true feelings but that was ok it wasn't like Cooper hadn't heard about her more than crazy family before._

 _"_ _Well at least you all made it here, or should I not ask that?" Cooper asked._

 _"_ _No, we did. Nash and Jess took Bree to the mall to see Santa and Natalie apparently has some mysterious friend who lives in Port Charles so she's visiting them. I went to drop off your combination birthday and Christmas present and ran into Maxie and Logan. Logan told me what happened and Maxie wants me to find out what your deal with Ned is."_

 _"_ _Subtle, Sarah, very subtle," Cooper quipped._

 _"_ _Yeah, well, I didn't tell her I would do it. By the way, when did they get engaged?"_

 _"_ _Rather recently," Cooper said. "A lot of things have happened since you've been gone though."_

 _"_ _Well Logan lives here now I guess, since he came back for love. Maxie told me the whole over embellished story. It was kind of like Jess's version of the whole Nash fairy tale. Although Maxie wasn't married to someone else," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Yes, and some other things that maybe we should discuss after the holidays," Cooper said._

 _"_ _Ned was explaining to me about Brooke Lynn. I had left a few messages for Lois because I completely owe her internship hours and I feel like an idiot because I had no idea," Sarah said._

 _"_ _You don't need to feel uncomfortable because you didn't know. When everything is more settled in January, I'm sure you and Lois can get everything straightened out with your internship. I think she's going to stop going back and forth to the city as much so you might even get a little recording experience," Ned said._

 _"_ _That would be neat but not at Brooke Lynn's expense," Sarah said._

 _"_ _I don't think it's necessarily at Brooke's expense I think it's more Lois starting to understand that we both need to be in Brooke's life," Ned said._

 _"_ _How long are you going to be in Port Charles?" Cooper asked Sarah._

 _"_ _We were supposed to leave in the morning because Aunt Viki is having some big dinner at Llanfair tomorrow night and then some lunch thing on Sunday. But I could stick around if you needed me to and just send Natalie back with Jess and Nash. I might have to get Nash an extra Christmas present if I did that though but I would do that for you," Sarah offered._

 _"_ _Nah, I'm ok, Brenda is here and I'm ok. You should go spend Christmas with your family. Is your dad coming home?" Cooper asked._

 _"_ _Yeah, although I think he stopped considering Llanview home years ago, maybe he never did. I could be Sarah Buchanan but I'm not and I think that says a lot."_

 _"_ _Your dad was an adult before he learned that Clint Buchanan was his biological father. From things he has said I think leaving his name alone was done out of respect for Al Roberts' role in his life, not as a passive aggressive jab at Clint. Because honestly, Sarah, that has never been your father's style," Ned said._

 _"_ _Do you really want to be Sarah Buchanan?" Cooper asked._

 _"_ _No, not really. I guess as long as I'm not Sarah Lord I'm good. Maybe it's just all of the latest absurdity about the new Buchanan heir. I guess there was melodrama about this before too. Only in the Buchanan family would you have aunts and uncles who are also cousins, twins who don't even share the same daddy, multiple illegitimate adult children coming forward later because their mother's just weren't good enough for Asa Buchanan to acknowledge them initially, multiple people raising other men's children as their own because they're just vindictive that way, they don't know the real truth, or because their son slept with their wife and then died tragically leaving her pregnant," Sarah ranted._

 _Cooper reached out and put two hands on her shoulders gently. "Sarah, this isn't helping you, if I thought it was, I'd let you continue but it isn't," he said._

 _In spite of Cooper's attempt at calming though somehow, she just couldn't stop. "Don't even get me started on the other half of my family it's even worse, rape, rape, and more rape. Plus it's all intertwined I mean Uncle Cousin Joey slept with grand step monster Dorian when he was a teenager fortunately there wasn't a baby from that mistake. Mom went after dad to get her hands on his inheritance. Once Grand stepmother and Aunt Viki married Clint. I'm sure Natalie and Uncle Todd are brewing on the horizon as sick as that may sound," Sarah continued._

 _Cooper rubbed both temples and then shut his eyes. "Sarah," he repeated._

 _"_ _Sarah, hi," Brenda's Barrett-Rodriguez's voice floated down the hallway. Sarah was a little surprised to see her but then remembered that Cooper had mentioned something about Bree being sick. Bree was Cooper's mom's youngest sister which made her Cooper's aunt but she was thirteen Sarah thought. It must be kind of weird to have a nephew who was older than you. Although she supposed technically her father, and Uncle Kevin, were both older than their uncle Jared. Her Uncle Joey was only a few months younger she thought._

 _"_ _I desperately need tea why don't you come with me?" Brenda asked extending her hand._

 _"_ _Brenda?" Cooper asked._

 _Brenda bent down next to her nephew and whispered something Sarah couldn't quite hear then she stood again. "Come on Sarah. Cooper, we'll be back in about an hour, Bree wants juice so we're going to Uncommon Grounds."_

 _"_ _Uncommon Grounds has juice?" Cooper asked._

 _"_ _Yeah they have juice blends. They're a Stone's Promise supporter so I think that's a great idea," Ned said._

 _"_ _You would since if I remember correctly their juice blends came from Nicole and Katelyn's juice of the day. They agreed to let Phillip use their juice plans in exchange for donating proceeds to Stone's Promise."_

 _"_ _What can I say, Phillip is an honorable guy? When he came to one of Monica's brunches and thought the juice was so great and it would be a great addition to his business it seemed like a good way to show Katelyn and Nicole that we can all help others. Or something like that. But if you're going to Uncommon you could bring me real coffee."_

 _"_ _I think I could handle that. Bye." Brenda said ushering Sarah along with her down the hall._

 _"_ _Wow I must have made a complete fool of myself," Sarah said about fifteen minutes later as Brenda parked along the curb in front of Uncommon Grounds._

 _"_ _I've probably done worse," Brenda said._

 _"_ _Yeah, but were you sober?"_

 _"_ _Oh, most definitely, I don't really drink. I've had my embarrassing moments but I can't blame them on alcohol. Actually, I really only remember being drunk once and nothing bad happened, Lois drove me home and told me how in love with Ned she was," Brenda said._

 _"_ _Was this awhile ago?" Sarah asked_

 _"_ _Yeah, she was pregnant with Brooke at the time. It was just wine with dinner actually but I have no tolerance and I've never really worked on building it."_

 _"_ _That's probably good actually. So is Cooper ok?"_

 _"_ _I think he will be. I ran into your dad a few weeks ago while I was in London."_

 _"_ _Yeah he mentioned that. Cooper would never help me fix our parents up. He was always saying how it would be hypocritical since he hated it when his mom commented on who he liked and that if they were meant to be together then they would find their way there on their own. But I know dad misses Julia."_

 _"_ _I really didn't know your father or grandfather well at all before Julia died. Which is sad I guess since they both were pretty important to her in different ways."_

 _"_ _Yeah," Sarah said._

 _"_ _Come on I'll buy you a chocolate chip muffin," Brenda said getting out of the car and starting towards Uncommon Grounds._

 _"_ _I went to the Angel Square Diner in Llanview the other day and they had chocolate chip muffins and I got all excited but it was actually kind of disappointing," Sarah said as they sat down on one of the couches by the fireplace._

 _Brenda took a sip of her tea. "Personally, I think Café Decadence has the best chocolate chip muffins but maybe that's because Emily has convinced me to love Café Decadence."_

 _"_ _I guess Logan works there now, he mentioned that. It doesn't really seem like his kind of place," Sarah said._

 _"_ _What seems like Logan's kind of place?" Brenda asked._

 _"_ _Jake's or the River Rat Bar maybe."_

 _"_ _Now those would be Jason's kind of places. Actually, I didn't realize the River Rat Bar was still open."_

 _"_ _You've been to the River Rat? Oh yeah I guess you dated Jason Morgan for awhile right?"_

 _"_ _Well I did date Jason but I actually never went there with him," Brenda said._

 _Sarah broke off a piece of her muffin. "So, you have this wild life Cooper doesn't know about?" she asked and then popped the muffin fragment into her mouth._

 _"_ _Not really, believe it or not Lucy Coe liked the place years ago because I guess it was built on the ashes of Body Heat which was a club her cousin Decker Moss used to own. It burned down before I lived in Port Charles and if it was anyone but Lucy they would probably avoid the place if it brought back memories of the fire or something but this is Lucy. I guess Madame Sophia told her it had good karma or something so she's there."_

 _"_ _Interesting," Sarah said pulling off another part of her muffin. "Actually, Lucky used to bartend there before," she said her voice trailing off at the end. She set the piece of muffin down on the napkin in front of her. "I feel badly that I didn't go to the funeral or anything," she said._

 _"_ _Well, you weren't really up to doing that," Brenda said._

 _"_ _I guess. Does it ever bother you that Cooper's friends are all former addicts?"_

 _"_ _Well, as someone who has indulged in my own less than healthy ways of coping, I'm not exactly someone who should judge that; that's my own perspective. But if we're talking about Cooper's friends then it's kind of not really my place to have a perspective."_

 _"_ _You mean because you were anorexic?" Sarah asked. "Sorry, Julia mentioned that once."_

 _"_ _It's ok, that and a lot of the things that fed into that. We all have our difficult moments, sometimes you have to forgive yourself, heal, and move on to find your own better path."_

 _"_ _Sometimes I feel like nothing makes sense."_

 _"_ _Sometimes it doesn't. You've been through a lot of things in the past few years," Brenda said._

 _Sarah interrupted before Brenda could finish her thought. "If this is your lead in to counseling is a great idea, I'm really not interested."_

 _"_ _Well it wasn't really, but I do think sometimes a really neutral objective perspective can be helpful," Brenda said._

The memory pushed her earlier thoughts about Brenda back to the front of her mind. Sarah still really hadn't figured her out. Brenda had always been very nice to her, but Sarah suspected that was just because she was Cooper's friend.

As they plodded up to the Buchanan lodge Sarah saw the fresh tire tracks. That seemed a little odd since it seemed like the family rarely came up to the lodge after her great grandfather's death. It had really been more his thing.

Joey must have noticed the tracks too. "I guess Nash and Jessie did bring Bree up to go tobogganing after all. Do you remember doing that when we were younger?"

Sarah swung her leg over and hopped down from the horse. "Yeah, or until I ruined it with my coughing fit. I remember that part."

"Back before we realized you had asthma, I guess."

"Yeah Tina thought I did it for attention."

"Tina thought you did everything for attention, Sarah. Again, her issue not yours."

"Well I probably did do some stuff for attention, not the coughing though or making up lies about Cain."

"Of course not, and every kid does stuff for attention to an extent. But I understand, and anyone who has ever really not been able to breathe knows it's not something you would fake," Joey said.

"No, but you know that."

"Yes, but I still think Tina could have given you a little more of the benefit of the doubt. Although sometimes I think mom gives Jessie a little too much so maybe finding middle ground is the way to go."

"Tina and middle ground don't really go together," Sarah said.

"Yeah I kind of noticed that. Come on, I hid some chocolate chips in the cupboard the last time I was up here they're just what you need to watch the sunrise over the mountain," Joey said.

As she followed him inside, Sarah wished it could be so simple.


	15. Chapter 14: Father Hunger

**Chapter 14: Father Hunger**

In Port Charles, Lieutenant Detective Cruz Rodriguez turned on the coffee pot and then took eggs and milk from the refrigerator as he reflected on how much life had changed. Just a little over two weeks ago, he had been cleaning frantically before Brenda came home from a modeling trip. Then he had been thinking about how great it would be for Brenda to be home, and it was. However, life had turned itself upside down at least once before Brenda even stepped off the plane; starting with her little sister showing up on their doorstep.

 _December 10, 2007_

 _Strains of Christmas Carols piped through the Barrett-Rodriguez house as Cruz Rodriguez frantically cleaned before his wife's return. Brenda had been in London for a week for a photo shoot and, well he supposed he had been a little lax in his housekeeping while she was gone. As Cruz turned off the vacuum cleaner and wheeled it in the direction of the closet he heard the doorbell ring. He wasn't expecting anyone, even if Brenda had managed to catch an earlier flight and then had taken a cab from the airport to surprise him she certainly wouldn't ring the doorbell._

 _"Just a minute," Cruz called, put the vacuum cleaner away, and then went to the door._

 _When he opened the door, he saw what could have been the younger version of his wife. He saw the same sparkling brown eyes, the same long dark brown full locks, the same beautiful features. She was tall and trim, well actually really thin, just as his wife but also still in that gangly adolescent phase that all girls go through and his wife had come out a knock out. "Is Brenda Barrett-Rodriguez here?" she asked softly and hesitantly._

 _"No, I'm sorry she's not," Cruz said flatly. After a moment he regretted the way he had said it but he was feeling a little uncomfortable standing there thinking how beautiful a girl who he was certain wasn't eighteen and probably not even fifteen yet was._

 _"Will she be back soon? I'm her sister," the girl said desperately. Her eyes turned down to the steps she stood on._

 _Cruz supposed he should have known that. Although he had never met Brenda's younger sister, she had spoken of her often enough that he had a sense of her. Breanna had just been a baby when Brenda's father Harlan Barrett had chosen his third wife over Brenda and kicked her out of the family home at sixteen. As a result, Brenda had moved to Port Charles and when Harlan had cut off her trust fund at the same wife's request six months later she had taken a nanny position for the doctors Alan and Monica Quartermaine to pay her expenses and tuition at Port Charles University. Of course, Cruz wasn't sure that had been such a bad thing for Brenda. The Quartermaines had come to care deeply for her and she had made close friends for life._

 _However, there was a little more to the story, because in spite of leaving when Breanna had been only a few months old Brenda had bonded with her little sister. In spite of their parents' opposition, they had formed a connection that had grown only stronger over time. Breanna had not been allowed to attend their wedding which Cruz had found cruel. Perhaps crueler because Brenda's older sister Julia had been killed almost a year earlier in a London explosion. Breanna was the only sibling Brenda had left._

 _"You must be Breanna?" Cruz said._

 _"Yes!" the girl, said brightly. She smiled to reveal a perfect smile. "You're Cruz right? She's right you're cute," she said impishly as it began to snow again and a few flakes landed and melted into her hair._

 _"Well why don't you come in? You can watch me clean frantically and then we'll go pick up your sister at the airport," Cruz said opening the door wider. He ushered her in and then noted her six suitcases on the steps behind her._

 _As he lugged suitcases into the guest bedroom of their home, Cruz laughed slightly at the fact that perhaps over packing was a genetic trait. Of course, he supposed he didn't know exactly how long Breanna intended to stay. It was a little early to be coming for the Christmas Holidays as it was only early December. He shuddered wondering if Harlan Barrett had found a fourth wife who didn't like Breanna._

 _Breanna was sitting uncomfortably on the couch fiddling with her ipod. "Are you hungry? Can I get you something to eat or drink?" Cruz offered._

 _"No I'm fine," Breanna said without lifting her eyes. "_

 _Do you need help cleaning?" she asked after another moment of silence._

 _"No, I've really just got to run the dishwasher and wipe down the counters now and we'll be good. Brenda's plane gets in around five thirty so maybe we can get dinner at Kelly's or something after," Cruz suggested and turned to go into the kitchen_

 _"Who is Kelly?" Breanna asked following him. She pulled out a stool at the kitchen counter and sat down as Cruz scrubbed._

 _Cruz laughed. "Decades ago, Paddy Kelly was cop who decided to open a diner," Cruz began. But then he regretted the explanation because he didn't really want to explain to Breanna how the man had been killed by Frank Smith._

 _"Oh," Breanna said. She stared down at the countertop apparently satisfied with his partial explanation._

 _"But it will probably be closer to six thirty or even seven by the time we get there. Are you sure you don't want a snack before we go?" Cruz offered._

 _"No, really, I'm not hungry," Breanna said._

 _"Ok," Cruz rinsed the sponge out in the sink and started the dishwasher. It was about three-thirty and the airport was only thirty minutes away so it was a little early to leave to collect Brenda but he felt uncomfortable hanging out with her little sister who by the math is his head was probably thirteen._

 _His cell phone rang interrupting his thoughts and he reached for it, "Rodriguez," he said quickly._

 _"I'm glad I caught you man," Jason Morgan said._

 _"What's up?" Cruz asked. Oh how things had changed in the past seven months, he thought. He would have never imagined he would have been working with Jason Morgan, alleged mob enforcer for mob boss Michael "Sonny" Corinthos Jr._

 _"We have a little problem," Jason said._

 _Cruz made a face; Jason was a man of few words and getting information from him was like pulling teeth._

 _"What?" Cruz asked._

 _"Ric Lansing is alive," Jason said tersely._

 _"Didn't we suspect that anyway?" Cruz asked. At least he hadn't ever believed the man was really dead. He just thought it was Ric's cowardly way of avoiding extradition. He had shared his concerns with their acting Police Chief John Quartermaine, an agent on loan from the FBI, and he had admitted as much as well. Cruz wasn't sure why it was such a surprise to Jason._

 _"But it changes things, especially if he still has an alliance with the Alcazars," Jason said._

 _"So, we go after them both," Cruz said. He really wasn't understanding why this was seemingly shocking news to, dare he say, his friend. In spite of his "brain damage" Jason was a pretty smart and perceptive man._

 _"It will involve a change in plans. I know you have to pick up Brenda but we'll meet tonight nine p.m., usual spot I'll notify everyone," Jason said and then there was a click._

 _Cruz closed his cell and returned it to his belt._

 _"Who was that?" Breanna asked finally looking up at him._

 _"Oh it was just a business associate," Cruz said. It wasn't really a lie, and he didn't want to explain the situation._

 _"But I thought Brenda said you were a cop. Aren't they called partners or whatever? Or that's what they are on TV, like Ponce and John?" she said._

 _Cruz laughed. "You mean from CHiPs? Where did you see that? I think it was in reruns by the time I was your age," he asked._

 _"It's on HBO right after the Sopranos," Breanna said._

 _"Your mother lets you watch the Sopranos?" Cruz asked. In his opinion, even the HBO version had way more violence than he thought anyone needed to see._

 _"My mother doesn't care what I watch. Anyway, she's on a cruise now," Breanna said matter of factly. "Do you have a mall?" she continued._

 _Cruz raised his eyebrows. Shopping, of course, like sister like sister, he thought. "Yes, Port Charles Crossing is right by the highway, so it would be on our way to the airport. But wouldn't you rather wait and go shopping with your sister?" he suggested_

 _"I can't exactly go shopping for her Christmas present with her can I?" Breanna quipped._

 _"No, I suppose not, do you know what you want to get her?" Cruz asked. He was not a big fan of malls._

 _"Well, sort of," Breanna said._

 _Her voice sounded hesitant though, as if she wasn't really convinced. "Alright, we can stop on the way and you can shop for a bit but I don't want to be late to pick up Brenda," Cruz said._

 _He went to the coat closet and grabbed his leather jacket and a scarf and waited for Breanna to put her coat back on and grab her ipod and backpack purse. In the garage he opened the door to the back seat of his SUV for her._

 _"_ _Can't I sit in the front," she whined._

 _"I have front passenger air bags," he said getting into the vehicle._

 _"So?" Breanna asked still standing in the garage pouting._

 _"So, you don't look like you weigh more than one hundred pounds. It isn't safe, now get in or we won't have time to stop at the mall," he said firmly._

 _He saw Breanna stick out her tongue, but she did as she was told. He opened the garage door, started his truck, and backed out into the driveway. She was silent as he drove down Concord Street and over to Lexington and Sunset Avenue past the other fire station and all the Chapparal County Office buildings._

 _As he proceeded up Sunset Avenue, Cruz caught a glance of her in the back seat. Something in her eyes just looked so sad. He'd seen that look before when Brenda had been at the depths of despair with her anorexia. He felt badly about how he had been stern with her before, after all she wasn't his daughter, or even his sister._

 _As they passed by the exit to the highway he said, "If you can't find what you want here there is always the Gallery mall on the other side of Port Charles, I could take you some night after work. Your sister likes the Crossings better for most things though."_

 _"Ok, thanks," Breanna said. She flashed what looked like a very shy smile._

 _XXXXXX_

 _Cruz watched Breanna closely as they made their way through the early December crowds. "Cruz," he heard and turned to see Dr. Patrick Drake calling to him._

 _"He's cute too, who is that?" Breanna asked as they made their way in Patrick's direction._

 _"Christmas shopping?" Patrick asked as they joined him._

 _"Just a little, we have to pick up Brenda from the airport soon. Patrick, this is Brenda's younger sister Breanna Barrett. Breanna, this is Dr. Patrick Drake, he is a neurosurgeon at Port Charles General Hospital," Cruz introduced._

 _Patrick extended his hand. "It is very nice to meet you Breanna, my wife Emily and I are very fond of your sister. Will you be staying through the holidays?" Patrick asked._

 _"_ _Yes Brenda and I are very excited she's here to spend our first Christmas together with us. Is Emily on call tonight?" Cruz asked._

 _"Yes, and it's RSV season so I'm sure she'll be exhausted when she comes home tomorrow. We're both off this weekend though so maybe we can get together. Em has a sister around your age so perhaps the six of us could do something," Patrick suggested as he smiled at Breanna._

 _"I'll have Brenda give Emily a call," Cruz suggested as they parted._

 _"Sure, have a good evening," Patrick called._

 _"He seems nice," Breanna whispered as they walked away._

 _"He and Emily are both very kind people. Patrick was my best man in our wedding, and Emily was your sister's matron of honor" Cruz admitted._

 _"I was really mad my mom wouldn't let me go to your wedding," Breanna said wistfully._

 _Cruz saw the deeply sad eyes return. "Come on, this is one of your sister's favorite stores," he said leading her into the Silversmith a traditional yet trendy jewelry store._

 _As Breanna looked through bracelets and brooches Cruz's phone rang again._

 _"Rodriguez," he said as he stepped away from Breanna slightly but continued to watch her carefully._

 _"Its me again, we're going to have to move that meeting to ten. Sonny needs to wait for Alexis to get home because he has all the kids. Carly is at some real estate conference," Jason said._

 _"Ok, I'll see you then," Cruz said. His words were met with a click and silence from Jason's end. A year ago, he would have protested the late hour but he supposed he knew what he was getting into when he agreed to join the organization. Still, he would be glad when everything was over and the truth could come out. He returned to where Breanna stood. "Did you find anything you like?" he asked._

 _Breanna looked at him wistfully. "Not really," she admitted._

 _"They make stuff to order too. You could design something and I could come back and place your order. We should go now though. Your sister is probably exhausted from her flight back from London," he said._

 _When they reached his SUV, he unlocked the doors, and turned off the alarm. Without even protesting, Breanna climbed into the back seat. He smiled back at her, drove through a little traffic on the arterial, and then made his way onto the highway as the Port Charles International Airport was technically outside of Port Charles and in the town of Moriches. As he cruised Westbound on the interstate he looked into the rearview mirror and noted Breanna had fallen asleep. As he drove, he wondered what had truly put the sadness in her sparkling brown eyes._

After knowing Breanna for only a few weeks Cruz had a pretty good guess to at least part of his query-Harlan Barrett. The problem was you didn't get to choose your parents and neither of Brenda or Breanna's had exactly done them any favors. Yet, Cruz knew, that was only part of it.

 _December 18, 2007_

 _As he reached the doorway to Breanna's hospital room on pediatrics, Cruz could hear the ending strains of Ned Ashton's rendition of Hoobastank's "The Reason". Cruz remembered how he had performed the song for his daughter at the Nurses' Ball in June. He surmised that Bree and Cooper were watching the video of his performance which had been on Brooke Lynn Ashton's myspace page._

 _"Isn't that so sweet? My dad would never do that. He wouldn't even admit in private that he loves me, although maybe that's because he doesn't," Bree said sadly._

 _"Don't do this, Bree. From everything I know, Harlan Barrett is a fool. He didn't realize that my mom was wonderful, Aunt Brenda is wonderful, and you're wonderful. He's just a fool. So I'm sure it hurts, but try to consider the source I guess," Cooper suggested as he pulled her into a hug._

 _"Yeah, but if your own dad doesn't love you then who will?" Bree asked._

 _"_ _People who have more sense than your father," Cruz said from the doorway announcing his presence._

 _Both Cooper and Bree turned to look at him._

 _"That was kind of the point that I was making. Listen, my mom would never admit it but, as I got older, I realized that a big part of who she was, was wrapped in the rejection she had from her dad. I know that was an issue for Brenda too and it caused problems. I love you, Bree, and I don't want you to hurt that way," Cooper said._

 _"I don't think I can just choose not to hurt though," Bree said._

 _Cruz crossed the room and sat down on her bed facing her with his back to the door. "Well, in a way you can, Bree. You just have to change your perspective. Remember the story Patrick read you?" he asked._

 _"About the princess?"_

 _"Yes, Princess Elizabeth, who had been raised to believe that she needed to marry a prince, right? She was going to marry Prince Ronald and he didn't realize how lucky he was. He was kind of like your dad," Cruz suggested._

 _"She basically saved him from the dragon. She outsmarted him by tiring him out so she could overpower him and rescue Ronald," Bree said._

 _Cruz smiled. "Right because she was a kind and resourceful princess, just like you are. Unfortunately, Ronald didn't know a good thing while he had it. I mean she saved his life and he made fun of her clothes. Princess Elizabeth was something else as well. I think with some love and support from your wonderful older sister who loves you so much and your nephew who also loves you even if does find it comical that his aunt is younger than he is, and maybe even from that random guy your sister married you may get to the same place. Princess Elizabeth could respect others and realize that she was worthy of respect and admiration. That is why she could abandon that toad Ronald and dance off into the sunset herself. She understood that Ronald was the one who had issues. Like I said, Ronald was a lot like your dad," Cruz finished._

 _"Wow! That sounds like a fairy tale even Alexis would let me read to Molly and Kristina," Sonny quipped from the doorway where he and Brenda stood._

 _"Well, if I didn't already know that Emily and Patrick were giving Molly and Kristina their own copies of the book for Christmas this year, I would offer to buy you a copy, Corinthos. But they are, so you'll just have to wait another week to read this," Cruz joked as Brenda came and joined him on the bed._

Cruz smiled at the memory as he whisked eggs and milk with a little cinnamon. Brenda had come a long way from being Harlan's rejected teenage daughter and he really did believe that her little sister could as well.

"What are you making?" Brenda asked as she came into the kitchen.

"French toast, I figured that was a good option. I looked at some of those recipes; but I have to admit that the idea of just adding heavy cream to everything kind of turns my stomach."

"I kind of agree. Although Edward Quartermaine would probably be very happy with that diet plan," Brenda said.

"He took us out to lunch last year, mainly I think, so he could order what he wanted without Monica or Alan informing him how his menu choices were in violation of his heart healthy low sodium diet," Cruz said.

Brenda sighed. "Yeah, well if I thought letting him take Bree to lunch would solve all of our problems, I'd be all for it. Unfortunately, I'm afraid it isn't that simple."

"I know but this can work. You'll see," Cruz said reaching for a skillet from under the counter.

"I want to believe that. In fact, I guess if I can't believe it then I need to just give up and send her to Remuda or wherever. I don't know."

"We're going to make this work."

"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve someone like you," Brenda said.

"No, you see, I'm the lucky one," Cruz said.


	16. Chapter 15: Welcome to Port Charles!

**Chapter 15: Welcome to Port Charles!**

Clint Buchanan slammed the trunk to his rental car at the Port Charles International Airport; which technically straddled Port Charles and Moriches. To say he was frustrated was an understatement. For all the time he spent awaiting take off, you would have thought there was a major blizzard. In reality, only four inches had actually fallen, and he had still been grounded for almost twenty-four hours. Clint had no patience for incompetence; and he viewed the airport situation as nothing other than that.

As he got into the car, he realized that his entire trip was the result of incompetence or general lack of integrity. If Julia had just been forced to tell the truth years ago, he wouldn't be faced with the possibility of having another grandchild that was also technically a great grandchild. The situation with Duke, Kelly, and Kevin still rankled him; but Sarah and Cooper having a child together could be even worse.

Logically, he supposed, he should have been furious with Julia; but he couldn't be. So, he turned his fury to the lab technicians that must have participated in altering the test results. He blamed his other son for challenging his attempts to assert paternity after Julia's death. He even had moments where he blamed, or at least resented, Viki for her neediness; which had forced him to return to her in hopes that perhaps their children wouldn't all self destruct.

Clint pummeled the horn at the car in front of him that had practically come to complete stop at the bottom of the access ramp to the highway. "Merge pinhead!" he screamed, laying on his horn again. _It was clearly going to be another great day._

Forty minutes later, Clint had finally reached the Port Charles Hotel. Unfortunately, there were really only two five-star hotels in Port Charles, one of them belonged to the Quartermaines and the other belonged to Jasper Jacks. The Port Charles Hotel was a little nicer and didn't have pictures of the late John Jacks prominently adorning the lobby. Both of those things made it Clint's accommodations choice.

While waiting for a family of five to check out, Clint planned his attack. It was tempting to just confront Cooper directly. Unfortunately, Sarah had been rather evasive about where Cooper actually lived; so that left him with Brenda. He had tracked her address down the year before to send Julia's Christmas present. It hadn't been hard; Adriana had left her palm pilot open while visiting Natalie with Rex.

Clint supposed the Christmas gift had been his attempt at a truce. Their son had made it home safely from Iraq, they should be grateful, and Clint had tried to be. Still, it was hard to not to resent Cooper's rejection and let his bitterness take over.

"Welcome to the Port Charles Hotel, Sir, may I help you?" the hotel desk clerk asked intruding into Clint's thoughts.

"I have a suite reserved for the next three days, the last name is Buchanan," Clint replied.

The clerk hit a few keys on his computer. "Ah, yes and this will be charged to the Buchanan Enterprises Corporate account, right?"

"Yes," Clint said.

"We're going to put you in the Excelsior suite. If you take the East Elevators to the tenth floor, take a left after the elevator bank and it's the third suite you will come to. There is a nameplate outside the door. Do you need help with your bags?"

"I believe in traveling light," Clint said.

"Very well then, Sir. Enjoy your stay in Port Charles."

Clint grunted, draped his garment bag over one arm, and pulled his carryon behind as he headed to the elevators. When the doors opened, he stepped in, and then frowned at the brown-haired woman already in the car having come up from the ground level. "Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse," he said.

Celia Quartermaine gave him a smug smile in return. "Well good morning to you too, Clinton. I must say this seems like a bad mood, even for you. Did you have to fly commercial or something?"

Clint snarled in Celia's general direction. "What floor did you need?"

"Ten, but it's already been pressed."

"Great! We can enjoy the entire ride together. That really makes my day," Clint said with a roll of the eyes.

"You know Clinton you really should do something about all the anger and hostility. It just really isn't healthy."

"I don't think the daughter of the woman who murdered her father in law gets to tell me what is healthy," Clint fumed.

"My mother made a less than informed choice. Something I don't think any of us can say we haven't at different times. I don't really think we want to discuss our parents' various shortcomings though, Clinton. You know that conversation wouldn't end well."

Clint tensed and stood more erect. "You have no idea what you are talking about!"

"That is where you are wrong," Celia said as the elevator finally stopped at the tenth floor. Celia stepped out quickly and then turned back to face Clint. "Well, I must go prepare for the day. Edward and I are discussing development of some new acquisitions in Arizona. Don't worry I'll alert ELQ security that you are back in town," she said and then she was disappeared down the hallway.

Behind her, Clint lumbered out of the elevator and down the hall to his suite. Perhaps hating Celia Quartermaine was petty but there were so many reasons he just couldn't stop. The list started with her compulsion to consider the environment and the future more than the bottom line. She claimed it could be both profitable and conscionable.

Apparently, she passed that Kool-Aid around liberally at ELQ Board Meetings. ELQ Enterprises claimed to be so proud that no former or present ELQ drilling or mining site had become a superfund site. They had received some EPA award the summer before which was all fine and good until Celia refused to let BE purchase the oil rights on some ELQ land in Nevada.

 _July 9, 2007_

 _Clint Buchanan slammed a hand down on his desk in frustration at the run around he seemed to be getting. "I don't care if she's in a meeting! I want to talk to her now!" he raged at whatever incompetent secretary Celia must be trying out for the week or something._

 _Celia Quartermaine's secretaries never did last long; she kept encouraging them to further their education. Clint realized that was the politically correct thing to do, so of course it would be Celia's motto. Just once he wanted to be able to call ELQ-West and not run across some darn secretary, who probably just started the day before, and didn't realize that he was an important man and shouldn't be kept waiting._

 _When Celia finally made it to the phone, a full five minutes later, Clint could hear her soothing the secretary who was apparently named Marcy in the background._

 _"_ _Good morning, Clinton, and what can I do for you this morning?" Celia asked._

 _"_ _This is just a courtesy call before I go over your head to Ned and Edward. I want those oil rights!"_

 _"_ _I'm sure you do, Clinton, but there is no way you can drill there without contaminating the ground water. Did you even read the environmental impact report?" Celia asked._

 _Actually, he hadn't; but that wasn't the point, Clint thought. "Listen, Celia, I know you and your friends at Greenpeace think us oil folk are evil, but the next time you're filling up at the pump you might want to grasp reality a bit."_

 _"_ _First of all, I understand that there is a real need for onshore oil sources, that isn't the issue. The issue is I can't condone drilling in an area that is nearly certain to destroy the lives of entire communities. As for GreenPeace, I'm not particularly a fan. I think they tend to be melodramatic sensationalists who perhaps are in as much need of a reality check as you are."_

 _"_ _So, you really want me to let Ned and Edward in on how incompetent you really are?"_

 _Celia laughed. "You make it sound as if I didn't discuss this deal with them before I turned it down. We're all on the same page on this, so you might want to just quit while you're behind; before you look more foolish than you already do."_

 _"_ _You're crazier than your mother if you believe that," Clint said._

 _"_ _Ok, Clinton, I think this conversation has descended below anything productive. Have a wonderful day anyway," Celia said and she hung up the phone before Clint could say anything more._

Clint had been seething mad that day, not a new feeling where Celia was concerned. He had never understood why, out of all the people Julia could have befriended, she picked Celia Quartermaine. At first, he had thought it was just a jab back at the old man. As Celia had quite aptly pointed out in her piece of Julia's eulogy, Quartermaine was not exactly a family friendly world in the Barrett family.

 _January 27, 2007_

 _Clint Buchanan sat silently in the second row at his former lover Julia Barrett's funeral. Their son sat in between his Aunt and Ned Ashton. Julia's death had left Clint with many questions, but at the front of his mind was whether he would finally be able to have a relationship with the son Julia had never admitted was his._

 _Clint saw a little red as the next speaker, Celia Quartermaine; a material sciences and environmental engineer, who had headed the ELQ-West subsidiary of ELQ Enterprises since her own father Quentin's death in 1998, stepped up to the podium._

 _"_ _I graduated from Briarton-Griggs Academy in 1981. Last night, I was surprised to learn that Julia graduated from Taft only a year earlier. I am humbled by what someone only a year older managed to accomplish. Julia and I should have been adversaries; I'm a Quartermaine, and proud of it. Julia was a Barrett, there is that whole issue with that property in White Pine County, Nevada, and although that deal happened, back when ELQ stood for Edgar Louis Quartermaine and Roderick Barrett was in control at Barrett that history was in our blood. Like I said, we should have been adversaries," Celia paused and took an audible deep breath._

 _"_ _Yet, beyond that, Julia and I were kindred spirits of sorts. We were little girls growing up in our daddy's world and determined to find our way on our own. Some might say that Julia was my mentor, and informally perhaps she was. I did admire what she accomplished and indirectly I learned a lot from her. ELQ closed those White Pine County mines shortly after I finished my engineering degrees because of environmental concerns with our leaching and smelting processes. At the time, ELQ CEO Edward Quartermaine declared that we would be back in White Pine County when the technology to do it in a way that wouldn't compromise his grandchildren's world was understood," Celia said before pausing again._

 _Clint saw her make eye contact with Edward Quartermaine who seemed to beam back at her. The exchange sickened him._

 _"_ _In 2004 that dream was realized. When that White Pine County Mine reopened, I was heading ELQ-West and I received a very short email from Julia. It was only three words-You go girl! I sent her the same email when she opened her own Copper and Silver refinery outside London a year later. For Julia, that was truly, I think, her finest moment and a testament to her courage. She knew that she would never be the Barrett CEO. It just was not in the cards for lack of a Y chromosome. Many other people would have fumed about the inequity of that. Do heirs have to be male? However, as Julia always said you have to accept what you cannot change, and Harlan Barrett's mind is probably one of those things. Accepting it and moving on to start your own company takes courage. I have been more fortunate, I may or may not become an ELQ CEO but my female gender is not an automatic disqualifier. Still, I can recognize the strength of Julia's accomplishments. These were several big steps for her, but even bigger steps for womankind. You go girl!" Celia stepped down from the podium hugged her cousin Ned and then made her way back to her seat._

Celia's part of the eulogy had bugged Clint because he didn't believe that she had ever really known Julia at all. The truth was that no one, not even his oldest son, who insinuated they would have married had she lived longer, had really known Julia the way he had.


	17. Chapter 16: Genetics Plus a Little Spin

**Chapter 16: Genetics Plus a Little Spin**

"Well I didn't think breakfast was that bad," PCPD Lieutenant Cruz Barrett-Rodriguez said as he wiped a sponge across the countertop.

"You can be honest," his wife, Brenda Barrett-Rodriguez said.

"I am being honest. It could have been a lot worse. She ate what she needed to. We're not wearing the first attempt at getting that into her. There are a lot of positives here, honey."

Brenda reached down and turned on the dishwasher. "So much for not understanding the concept of spin there, dear."

"Listen, I completely understand that you are scared. I am too. But I think you're right and we need to give her a chance to do this at home, with us, first. Sending her somewhere, right now when she's still so fragile, will probably just make it worse."

"You can be so calm about this because it's not your fault."

"No, I can be so calm about this because it's what she needs me to be. You did not cause this. You are not to blame for this and I cannot let you blame yourself this way, Brenda," Cruz said as he leaned back against the counter and pulled his wife into his arms.

"But she's my sister," Brenda said weakly.

"Yes, and you love her and we're going to get through this. So maybe she inherited the same genetic predisposition to cope with stress by not eating that you did. She didn't inherit that gene combination from you. I wish she hadn't as much as I wish you hadn't, but reality is what it is. We all get some of not the greatest genes in there, but things have a way of working out. I mean look at Mac Scorpio, a little challenged in the fashion department; but Maxie can work with that. Ok, now when Garcia upended his suitcase, we had a little crisis. Maxie packs his clothing in coordinating order, since they no longer make Granimals in his size. But, hey, we did make it through the wee kend, and did not win the worst dressed commissioner award."

"Granimals?" Brenda asked.

"Probably a little more middle class than your upbringing. Basically, you could match the animals on their tags to find coordinating outfits. Totally saved my dad a bunch when my mom went back to Puerto Rico to care for her mother for three weeks in kindergarten."

"That sounds cute do they still make them?"

"I'm not sure. I guess we could explore that since we will have a child of our own soon. Although, unlike Mac Scorpio, I do grasp that maroon and red are not the same color and are also not complimentary colors."

Brenda laughed.

Cruz stroked a finger across her cheek. "See there's that smile I love. Maybe more to the point, although I wish you had never had to struggle with any of this, maybe because you have you can really help Bree. You've found other ways to cope with the stress, and you understand that you can't get away with skipping meals. In many ways, you probably get this in ways I never will completely."

"Maybe," Brenda said uncertainly. "I don't want to send her somewhere either, not even to Rose Lawn, unless we really can't do this. I honestly think Dr. Lawrence just recommended it now because she feels like she messed up; the more I think about it I'm not sure she didn't. Although I guess I could have demanded she do labs and an EKG."

"That isn't your responsibility. You don't get to feel guilty about that either. She got the help she needed and that's what matters most right now. I think letting her see Emily and Monica is a good idea, they seem to have a plan. It may not seem like it right now but it's going to be ok eventually," Cruz said as the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that is; Emily is on call today. Thanks, Cruz," Brenda said as she extricated herself from his arms.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because you love me and it makes all the difference."

"Well, then thank you because the feeling is mutual."

Brenda turned back into his arms kissed him quickly and then as the doorbell peeled twice more in quick succession started out of the kitchen towards the door.

Cruz followed her. "Someone needs to be a bit more patient. Fortunately, Frank is away on holiday," he said, referring to their neighbor's dog who did not like doorbells.

"You know maybe we should just get rid of the doorbell. Although I'm not sure he would do much better with knocking," Brenda said.

"You never know," Brenda heard Cruz say as she pulled open the front door to find herself staring at Clint Buchanan.

Brenda took a deep breath. "Mr. Buchanan, well I must say this is a surprise." In a way it was, she really hadn't expected Clint to show up on her doorstep, but she had a pretty good idea why he had.

"May I come in?" Clint asked.

"Of course," Brenda said before she nervously stepped back slightly and reached for Cruz's hand. As she shut the door behind Clint, she took another deep breath. She supposed it was what she and Ned had been afraid of, but somehow, she had thought maybe they had a little more time.

"Cruz, this is Clint Buchanan, he was an old business associate of my sister Julia. Clint, this is my husband Cruz Barrett-Rodriguez."

"Yes, we've met," Clint said tersely.

Brenda looked at Cruz and wondered what the story was there. She was almost afraid to ask, especially when she thought about a few of Julia's stories about Clint and Cooper's stories about Sarah.

"There was a little incident where someone landed the Buchanan Jet on the PCGH Medflight air strip. Ms. Sneed got a bit irate and called it in as a terrorist attack," Cruz said.

"I'm not sure why New York residents seem to think they cornered the market on 9/11. Anyway, that isn't why I came and I left my plane at the airport this time," Clint said with a laugh.

Brenda forced a nervous laugh even though she didn't quite see the humor. "Well, that's good our driveway isn't very big. Why don't you have a seat and I'll fix you some tea," she said as she led Clint into the living room. She was sure Clint probably saw her actions as a stall tactic. She wouldn't even argue against that, but she really just needed a minute to think, and maybe two minutes to call Ned. Although she wasn't sure if she could, or should, really pull him away from his daughter. Brooke Lynn was much better but still in the hospital.

"Do you need any help with that, Bren?" Cruz asked.

"Sure, sweetheart, that would be great. Excuse us just a minute, Clint," Brenda said before she escaped to the kitchen with Cruz.

XXXXXX

In the backyard, Bree and Cooper sat on the swing in the garden watching the cardinals at the birdfeeder. "You know I really like snow," Bree said.

"Then I guess it's convenient you no longer live in California. You have an entire backyard full of it," Cooper said.

"You don't like it?" Bree asked.

"It's ok."

"Cruz likes to ski. If I get better, he's going to teach me."

"Yeah, skiing is cool."

"You know how?"

"Yes, surprisingly, my mom was into it," Cooper said. His words were met with silence though. At first it didn't surprise him. Talking about his mom with Bree was so awkward, because Bree really had never known her, and Cooper wasn't sure whether it was better for him to help her understand who her sister had been or if that just made her feel more rejected. But when he looked over, he noticed she was sitting completely motionless.

"Bree?" he asked.

"I don't feel very well anymore," she said very quietly.

"It's ok, let's get you inside. Come on, put your arms around my neck. I've got you it's ok," Cooper said. He picked her up and started back into the house.

XXXXXX

Inside, Brenda brought a tea tray into the living room, and set it down on the coffee table in front of Clint. He seemed deep in thought which she didn't consider a good sign. She sat down on the couch opposite Clint and reached for Cruz's hand again. She took another deep breath and was about to say something when she heard the back door close and turned to see Cooper walk in carrying Bree. "Oh no, what happened? Cooper, you're not supposed to be lifting things, Alan said! Cruz. take her!"

"I'm ok," Cooper started to protest but he let Cruz take Breanna from him.

Cruz started towards the stairs and Brenda saw new concern in Cooper's eyes as he realized who they had been entertaining. She suspected he was imagining that something horrible had happened to Sarah but she was quite certain that Clint's visit had nothing to do with that. "Coop, do me a favor and tell Bree I'll be right up ok?"

Cooper looked back at her warily for a few moments but then he took a few heavy steps towards the front stairs.

Brenda waited a few moments until she heard footsteps on the stairs then she turned to Clint. "I'm sorry but Bree hasn't been well and I need to go deal with that. Cooper's first question is going to be what happened to Sarah but I don't think that has anything to do with why you're here does it?"

"In a way it does," Clint said.

Brenda felt the warmth leave her face. Maybe she had totally missed the point. "What happened to Sarah?"

"You don't think it's a problem that she's dating her uncle?" Clint said.

Brenda presumed he wasn't referring to the kissing Joey incident Ned had referenced before but she wondered why Clint presumed she was dating Cooper. "You know what, we can't even begin to sort that out now because I have to deal with Bree. All I'm asking is if she is physically fine now?"

"Yes, but," Clint started to say.

"Sorry, I really don't mean to be rude, but we're going to have to do this later," Brenda said. She stood up and ushered Clint to the door.

"You can't just ignore the issue, Brenda. Your sister's insistence to do that is what got us in this whole mess in the first place," Clint said.

"We can talk about this later. I'm sorry, Clint, but I really have to check on my sister," Brenda said handing Clint his coat and opening the door.

Clint glanced at her as if he wanted to protest but somberly, he just filed out.

Brenda closed the door, leaned against it for a moment summoning strength, and then started towards the stairs. When she stepped into Bree's room Cooper looked at her warily.

"Why was Sarah's grandfather here?" Cooper asked.

"He had a question about your mother. Sarah is fine," Brenda said. Cooper's face showed that he was considering her words carefully and she felt uncomfortable because although she hadn't technically lied to him it was perhaps the closest she had ever come to that.

Clint did have a question about Julia though; had she lied when she apparently told him repeatedly, he wasn't Cooper's father? The answer to that question was no, but Brenda knew it wasn't going to be that simple. It had actually surprised her slightly that Clint had left without more production. But then she recalled something she had overheard Julia saying on the phone a few years ago. _When will Asa learn? When Buchanans try to play hard ball with Barretts they will always lose!_

At the time, she hadn't thought much of the conversation. She was in the habit of ignoring Julia's business calls that could not be put on hold for family vacations. But with her more recent understanding of some, of at least the business, aspects of her sister's life; she suspected that Julia had been talking to Cord around the time that Asa had tried and failed to overtake Norscott. She had also come to understand that Cord and her sister had certainly been more than just business partners by that time and that technically Cord was as much a Buchanan as Julia was a Barrett, at least biologically even if he refused to take the last name.

Shaking her head Brenda made her way across the room and sat down on her sister's bed. "So, what's wrong?"

Bree looked back at her with wide brown eyes but not the terror she had seen almost two weeks ago. "Maybe I'm just tired."

"Ok, but being too tired to walk is a problem," Brenda said.

"We probably shouldn't have gone outside. That's my fault, I'm sorry," Cooper said.

"We aren't going to debate fault or blame here, Cooper, because that isn't going to help. We're going to work together and solve the problems ahead of us as a family, because that's what we are. Monica is supposed to be calling us back as soon as she gets out of the cath lab by the way," Cruz said.

"Thanks. Do you feel like you're going to pass out Bree?" Brenda asked.

"Not always."

"Meaning, yes, right now?" Cruz asked.

"You know this was easier before when no one cared," Bree said.

"I'll believe it was easier for you to starve, but I love you too much to let that happen, Bree. You can get better and you're going to. Whatever we have to do for that to happen we will do," Brenda said.


End file.
